Soul-mate or sparring partner?

My DD described my late (3rd) DH as "the love of my life". He was my soul mate, very even tempered but would stand his ground when necessary.

We didn't really argue as both of us had that in our previous marriages, yes we bickered at times but never blazing rows.

After more than 4 years widowed I still miss him but am also content in my own life. I consider myself lucky to have met him & been very much loved.

Don't know. DH and I will have been married for 40 years next months.
We occasionally bicker, but like the OP, the shouting and tears involved in my parents' marriage scarred me for life. I usually give in without a fuss if it is unimportant, stand my ground if it is. We reach a compromise without any verbal fireworks.

Well yes, 27 years and we are both soul mates and sparring partners. Best friends and playmates too. We argue a fair amount I suppose, but that's because we are both strong minded individuals and independent thinkers who try to respect each other's right to hold opinions. Didn't someobody say that the definition of a perfect marriage is "two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other"?

People who find soul mates are lucky. I have given up on committed relationships, although I have a valued 'plus one' who can be relied upon for social events.
I tried being married - twice - but I seem to attract controlling bullies, and a spell in a women's refuge disillusioned me for good! Congrats and best wishes to those who have been fortunate, tho' - I envy and admire you.

Not soulmates, sadly. There's a lot of banter but few rows. We're very different but as some have said, we agree on the big things.

My husband is my soul mate and I love him very much but we do argue, life would be boring otherwise. We celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary in November, so I don't think it has done any harm to our relationship.

We have been married for 52 years and he still makes me laugh. That helps me put up with his contrariness. (He likes to take an opposing view to everything I say and that gets very wearing). But he is my rock and is a brilliant Father and Grandfather and has always supported my career and need to be involved in activities out of the home. I would not swap him - but soul mates? Don't think that would be a description I would use.

All I know is that my (second) husband makes me happy and able to be more fully 'me'. It is a 'quiet' contentment - with a thread of passion woven in. That does for me .

We are totally different soulmates

DH a perfectionist, exact, hard worker, devotes himself to others, can be a pain in the ar**

Me easy going, slapdash, errs towards laziness when it comes to housework, goes out most days for coffee or meet friends.

I wouldn't be without him and the otherway around. Hope/pray for many more years together.

Soul mate.

On reflection we have lived through a period of great change in terms of the position of women in society. Husbands used to be the breadwinner and the master of the household. Now women expect to be equal partners - quite right too! But is this why so many marriages now falter?

I've said, on other similar threads, rhat I consider Dh ate lucky to have grown together over the years. That doesn't always happen despite good intentions.

We've been married 41 years this year. In our youth we were fiery but over the years we've both mellowed. There aren't many things we argue about . There's no need really.we're at a comfortable place.

I don't know about soulmates but the core of our relationship is based on our love of family and having the same core values. We like some of the same things and some very different things . During our married life we've both worked and lived apart for extended periods so we're both quite capable of all the household chores . So no one has set jobs or does everything.

Now in retirement we're together about 80% of the time and that works because it's not been like that for the past 40 years.

I know that I love him more now than I ever have and value his company .Soul mates? Maybe :-)

My husband and I were married for just over 53 years before he died, and we argued and rowed for quite a lot of that time, but we still muddled along, and I don`t half miss him now. Soul mates? Not really sure.

I agree with kittylester relationships can be very mixed. My husband and I agree on lots of things but with others - watch out, I am very fiery although I have mellowed with age.?

we dont argue but I'm not sure we're soul mates...depends what you mean by it.We have very different tastes in music,books and films,I love history he doesn't ,he's always active I'm not ,we have always had different friends BUT we have very much the same attitude to life and work and our goals and to our children ,neither of us is holiday minded and we love decorating and keeping things up to date in the home ..I love to cook and he loves to eat ..so it works .Thats what matters I think ,not a label

Maybe neither! We don't argue much and never have; but he is not really a soulmate either - it has always been an unequal relationship because of his anxiety problems.

I'd say relationships can be both and not exclusively one or the other.

DH is my soul mate but we had a bit of a spar this morning.

It probably won't surprise you to hear that my childhood was filled with argument but DH's was very placid (his father adored his mother and rarely diagreed with her) and I think we live very happily in the middle ground.

To be honest, DH and I rarely row, as such, although you might be forgiven for thinking that after reading some of my recent posts. We have been married 51 years. He is a very calm person, seldom given to raising his voice, but he has never learned how to say a simple "sorry" when he knows he is in the wrong. He just waits for it all to go away, and to be honest, I haven't the mental energy for protracted disagreements these days, so it usually does just that! But we are soul mates - we can't function without each other on any level and wouldn't have it any other way.