Why are some people so flipping cross?

To coin Phoenix's phrase - I could be wrong dj, but I don't think anyone was named in the Kitchen there was a comment about other threads being bad tempered. I think that is acceptable. I have said similar things to DH whilst in our RL kitchen.

You are not bad tempered by default Maw or pompous and, I agree, since the referendum there has been a lot of spikiness about.

Phoenix, it's not about anything, just a question about people being so cross all the time.

I've woken up CROSS!

I've been gardening quite late every evening because it's too hot during the day.

GNAT BITES!

GAH!

But you do not know us all the time, kitty, so you can't say that anyone is cross all the time.

Because people aren't named in the kitchen doesn't make it better. It looks like you are ganging up in there on a few others; as I said, not the spirit of the kitchen.
It actually says non-judgmental, but some people retreat in there and complain about others on the politics threads. There have been lots of comments in the kitchen about other threads being bad tempered, not just one.

These things work both ways. If you want only pleasant GN threads, stay out of politics, and those who like discussing politics will stay out of the kitchen.

Why start a thread complaining about others if you want to be all sweetness and light?
I am not cross, just trying to explain as best I can, why it's not a good idea to start a thread like this.

I agree with your point at 23:51 wholeheartedly, jend.

With respect to the one following it, I think the fact that this thread isn't naming or even specifically pointing at individuals, just referring to an apparently cross ambience (from the points of view of some gransnetters) is what makes this thread stay within GN guidelines.

I could be wrong, but that's my interpretation of the guidelines.

Also, I think it is attitude of others that posts on this thread are complaining about. Attitudes are not people even though people have attitudes to things. Attitudes can change. People can change their attitudes and often do just as they change their opinions.

I know some GNers think this interpretation jesuitical. It may be. But it has held up during various ... er... spats on GN as a valid interpretation of the rules.

I didn't make the rules. I just interpret them in a way that the evidence seems to support.

I also agree, though, that thinking one is the target of criticisms even if not named, is not pleasant.

The answer to that is to alter the tone of one's output, I suppose. Please note, that is an impersonal suppose and applies as much to me as to anyone else.

I totally disagree with your comment about the kitchen ' looks like you are ganging up on a few others' . Durham I don't see it that way at all. No one goes in and says XX is horrible, the comments are generic - in that - and I was one- bemoaned the tone of some posts and how that made me feel. In exactly the same tone and style that people come in looking for solace from a situation in real life .

If anyone wants to discuss an issue with the wider GN then you create a thread elsewhere.

Lots of other threads do descend into sometimes bad tempered 'debate' - everyone acknowledges that if you want harsh words and cut and thrust you go into the Politics threads .

I was interested to read an earlier poster saying she feels rage most days. Is that the case for many here ? It's not something I can say, I might be irritated, I might even be cross but rage ?

Not for me, rage saps energy, harms if turned inwards or outwards surely

I don't often get involved in the more robust discussions but if I do and someone disagrees with my opinion in a way which could be deemed aggressive or unpleasant then I just withdraw from the discussion. Not because I am a coward or because I can't back up my opinion but because I don't see the point in becoming caught up in an unpleasant discussion with someone I don't know, who I am very unlikely to meet and who will not have any effect or influence on my life.

That's so true annie !

Well I think there is a lot to be cross about at the moment. But instead of the word cross transpose it with passion and you'll get nearer to understanding where many of us are coming from.

I get that, ww. But even passion can be tempered with moderation and attuned to a more favourable atmosphere for debate. Too often the political threads lack that and seem to get angry with posters rather than points.

Re rage, ab and n&g, I tend to agree that it isn't useful or effective very often. But it can be so long as it is directed at ideas or things rather than people. In my experience an occasional outburst about injustice either to oneself or others can work wonders.

Being passionately intolerant of opposing views is self-defeating, I would have thought.

It's good for attacking the weeds/hoovering/and other regrettable facts of life.

Passion doesn't mean rage. Passion can mean to care deeply with love,rage means venting spleen and bile l

People take lives in rage , destroy lives in rage, can we say a wife beater is acting with passion? Suppose so but for me it's just coating something nasty in honey

Rage is rage , it is like a cancer

And anyway, there's always a lot to be cross and passionate about. The problem is making one's crossness and passion constructive. Just forever sounding off angrily achieves nothing.

However, in the spirit of supporting free speech, I suppose if some people need the release of sounding off and batting away all opposition, however reasonable, with snapping, I suppose Gransnet is serving a useful purpose in that regard for some members.

Yes baggs I absolutely agree with your point about playing the argument not the man. I am always moaning on about it, and have even unfortunately been drawn into playing the man at times. But I try desperately not to, which is why I studiously ignore all posts that try to draw it down to the personal. It is the only way.

P S - total curiosity -well nosiness - why did you change your name?

Things I'm cross/passionate about

The Middle East
North Korea
World poverty
Inequality
Trump
Brexit
The Tory Party
Unnecessary disasters
Environmental degradation
Climate change
Dreadful animal welfare in farming
That's just to start!

And of course. People who tell me to stop being cross

I explained, as much as I'm going to explain except to close friends, my undisguised and totally recognisable change of name in the Soop Kitchen.

That's a polite way of saying it's none of your business There's something appealing about a double g. I felt its lack,

And and!!!

People who don't get passionate about stuff are in my opinion half dead

People are allowed to be half dead. There may be reasons why, even. Plus reasons to be tolerant of them.

And to be polite to them when they do try to engage with something one's passioonate about.

baggs fair enough -it was just a friendly question with absolutely no agenda behind it at all.

Sad about your reaction. I was hoping for a funny story behind it or something but as you wish.