Surprise engagement

Even Ho has hey re engaged it might be years before they get married, if ever! Whittle down your questions to the bare minimum for now

We got engaged after 6weeks have been married over 40yrs now . My son after joining army rang me and told me he wanted to marry girl he had been seeing a few weeks . They got married 6months later. They have been married around 12yrs and have three children . So hope goes as well with your son keep an open mind we can't pick our children's partners just as our parents couldn't pick ours .

petitpois I would leave the family album & sons baby pictures to the second visit

I feel for you petitpois, I have a bad habit of interrogating people too. My daughters joke about it now but I have been known to scare their friends ! !
You can only make her welcome and support your son, good luck.
( I have some spare thumb screws if needed )

petipois
As this was such a surprise to you, only you know your son, and that he was shedding tears of happiness and not 'OMG what have I been and done.'? At your sons age, and much younger, many surprise their parents with the news they are to become fathers before any engagement so celebrate this event and give your son's lady a warm welcome into the family.

My oldest son did this. The girl in question was scared to meet us and wouldn't come to our house because she had a three year old little girl. By chance my daughter saw both of them at a reasturant and sat with them. The girl explained to my daughter why she hadn't met us my daughter laughing told her " you must be joking my mother will have no trouble at all accepting your daughter within in a week your daughter will be treated exactly the same as her three grandchildren" she was still reluctant and so my daughter arranged to meet her in a shopping centre the next day with all the children. The next day she invited me on a shopping trip and without telling either of us we were meeting. My daughter introduced us to each other as. This is my mum and to me this is probably your new DiL and her little girl. My DiL and myself now joke that it was the best bargain we ever got on a shopping trip. So I hope it's as a successful first meeting for you. Remember the girl will probably be just as nervous as you. Just be yourself tell her it's nice to meet her and that you hope you'll be friends. Bring out the or and get to know each other a bit. This could be the beginning of somthing wonderful

Yep, one of my sons has just announced the he is getting married in Las Vegas. That more or less cuts his family out of the equation. He has been engaged since March. He isn't a young thing exactly and IMO he is doing it because it's a cheap option.
Children do not realise how much and how deeply we care for them, even when they have their own children, strange that isn't it.

Try not to burst his bubble...in the scheme of things 4 months is quite a while these days....He knows what he is doing.

Well, how exciting! I'd be welcoming (but nervous) and wait and see what transpires. Keep an open mind - you might love her on sight, but if not she might well grow on you in time. Do try not to frighten her off with too many questions. She's probably terrified of meeting you!

Oh how lovely for your Son to be so happy. Mine had only been with his girlfriend a few months and we'd only met her briefly a couple of times ( Where do you work? I'm a dancer. In a theatre? No, not that sort of dancing. Eeek! ) when they sprang a surprise baby on us! They're still together over 6 yrs later and I adore my DGC. All will be well ?.

DH told me we were going to get married less than half an hour after we met. He formally proposed a few months later. He said he just knew I was the one and tbh I felt the same way. It was like I'd known him my whole life and had just been waiting for him to come into it.

A friend believes that souls are constantly reborn in the company of other souls that they have been with forever so when you meet someone you feel you've always known then you probably have. She says that's why we have love at first sight and that person we don't like but just can't put our finger on why. Both are vague memories of a previous life.

My OH proposed the week we started going out. I said 'NO' I was not ready. We finally got engaged six months later after two more proposals and have been happily married for more years than I lived at home with my parents. The final proposal came when we were at the top of the big wheel in Nottingham October fair, and he said if I said 'No' again he would rock the boat! I gave in gracefully. :-)

I wish the happy couple all the best! Try not to criticise her if you don't like her. She is probably going to be more scared at meeting you than you are of meeting her. Give them a chance. At the end of the day it is your son who has to be happy not you.

My oldest GS has just turned 17 and is getting nervous about meeting girls and having to bring them home :-) He thinks I will say or do something to frighten her off because I am always pulling his leg about things. I have had to promise not to! Good fun keeping him on his toes though. It will not happen but he does not know that.

I did the same. My parents had never met my boyfriend when we became engaged while at university in 1973. I hadn't really been going out with him for very long - weeks rather than months. We are still happily married - have been together for 44 years. I don't think my parents particularly warmed to him when they first met him, but, over the years, he has proved to be a very supportive son in law, and, now in their 90s, my parents realise how lucky they - and I - have been. Trust your son's judgement!

Try not to ask questions. My daughter said she didn't want to invite me to a party she was having because I ask questions. No idea what she means, I just make normal conversation but I would suggest you are careful about too many questions.

Yes, I was hurt!

Yes please don't interrogate. My children hated bringing their school friends home because my ex H would give them the third degree. No way would they as teenagers risk bringing anyone who mattered to the house. I would beg him to dispense with the 20 questions but to no avail. Sad for me because I am not the interrogating type.

I hope the meet up goes well. I love all the stories on here of love at first sight and at a young age.

Son, who lived away, arrived home with new girlfriend and announced they were engaged. Lovely ring, many congrats etc. Next day we went out for a drink, noticed she was drinking only OJ, yes she was pregnant. They are still together after many years and three lovely children.

petitpois a word of caution. Even whittling down your questions will probably be too much for the poor girl. Give her some space and keep the lid on the questions. I can guarantee she will be nervous and a Spanish Inquisition is not what she needs. What will seem like a few to you may be a barrange to her. And if she is THE one, you will have plenty of time in the future to take out the answers you obviously need.

Relax and enjoy.

Barrage .....

my daughter called us from a club and told us that she and her new boyfriend were getting married ...in 3 months..and no she wasn't pregnant.We had the wedding organised and the dress picked by the end of that week .She was married to him for 8 years until he started seeing other women ,they had two beautiful children together and they have stayed friends even though they have both now remarried .Its not your choice its up to your son and as long as you can remember how it feels to be young and in love you will deal with it and offer nothing but good wishes and support.He's not THAT young so I cant see the problem .We got engaged when my husband was 19 and married 6 months later,we've been married 42 years ,we'd only been together for 5 months ...so yes it does work

NOT that young!

Surprised was not the word when my youngest daughter a single career girl of 35 with a highly paid job and her own property informed us she was pregnant. Planned not a mistake.
She had met a like minded man, second surprise, who too wanted a family.
A beautiful wedding but a marriage that did not prosper
I have though our wonderful daughter and a beautiful granddaughter and I count my blessings.

Chair, table, white light shining in her eyes, clipboard and tick list, I wonder why my DS doesn't bring girls home!

Its not odd and it happens more than you think! It maybe a new situation to you however please just welcome her with open arms.

If you dont, you run the risk of alienating them and specifically your son. I know what the ex deceased Mom in law was like when I met her. It put up walls that the ex never fully forgave her for.

It was me that encouraged contact. She wasnt a pleasant woman. I am not saying you are like her. It was her nature with everyone.

What I am saying is just enjoy her and them being there together. He is a grown man and won't take kindly to you doing the Spanish inquisition.

Your son is entrusting you to meet this woman. Please don't make it difficult for them as you may live to regret it.