Does he have a bit on the side?

Do you have joint accounts? If you have a debit card but no access to the internet banking site, you could go into a bank and get a statement printed off. Even withdraw half the money if you are worried, then open a personal account for this and your earnings. I would be extremely anxious in your position. Look after yourself.

Use the 3k to open your own account , and top up from the joint account , then confront the B.....d

Yes, time to put the emotions to one side and be practical. I agree with aggie sort out the finances and then confront him. You need to talk to your family at some point but get the finances in place in case someone alerts him. Sorry to bang on about money but financial security will at least make the future more bearable for you.

What a dreadfully sad situation to be in NannieJulie - lots of good advice already given so I can only add some and a (((hug))).

3K hidden in drawer? Could be for a bond deposit on a flat? Some landlords demand this in cash. I would take a photo of this too.
NannieJulie, I admire your calmness and strength, but what I have not read is do you still love him? I'm sorry if that's a very personal question so please do not answer if you do not wish to.

When you say the bank statements are online, do you mean his personal account or is it a joint one? If the latter then, as someone's already pointed out, you can obtain statements from the bank directly. However if the account is in his name only, then you won't find out anything. I suspect the 3k has been withdrawn so he doesn't need to use a debit/credit card for transactions. In other words there will be no trace of what he spends it on - and that is very suspicious.
Please don't hang back for too long.

I find all this rather odd - this talk of solicitors and getting some money into a separate account etc. when the OP does not even know if her OH is up to something or not - how daft it will all seem if there is some reasonable explanation.

There seems to be a complete absence of emotion here - if you do not love this guy, then do you really mind if he is getting a bit on the side, as long as your finances are secure?

I am puzzled.

He must be very naive to hide money in a drawer. Now that it has come to this, it diesn't make any sense not to confront him immediately. If your suspicions are proved correct you can ask him to move out and still give your Christmas visitors a nice time.

Wise words from Fairydoll2030

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I suggest you look for advice on Mumsnet. They are much more on the ball in this sort of situation.

We are getting far down the road here but MiniMouse your info is incorrect!

You cannot sell a house without your spouse's knowledge if you are joint owners!
Even is the house is solely in your spouse's name, you can issue a Matrimonial Home Rights Notice (through the Land Registry - a solicitor will advise), which can prevent him/her selling or remortgaging the property without your knowledge.

If a house is in joint names then both signatures would e be required for a sale. One party can not sell it.

Fairydoll2030 I'm happy to be corrected! I remember my ex-H's solicitor requesting me to sign something to change our joint tenancy/tenants in common when we were going through divorce proceedings.

Such a difficult time for you, Julie.
Sending kind thoughts to you. Hope the situation is a resolved in whatever way is least painful for you x

Thinking of you, Julie.

I know it goes against a lot of the advice being given - but I think I would have to know.....?

I feel so sad for you Julie ?

I have no advice but I send you xx

NannieJulie, sending you love this weekend and hoping you manage to give your loved ones a good Christmas as planned.

Having read things like this elsewhere online,it seems highly likely that he is seeing someone else. Sorry.

I also think it is wise to keep one step ahead.

I have also been thinking of you Nannie Julie , hope you are alright

Keep your cool this weekend Nanniejulie, we are all thinking of you.

Me too x !

And me x