Romance scams

You're right, of course and many people would never send money to strangers but these scammers are so devious and patient. They target vulnerable people and groom them to gain their trust. They don't ask for money immediately, so the victims really believe they're in a relationship. They don't care so if someone refuses, they'll just move on to someone else until they find a willing victim. It's a horrible crime.

It's like domestic abuse. People ask why a person would stay with a violent partner but they often aren't violent straight away, their behaviour gets more controlling over a period of time.

Smileless2012

Just seen this featured on 'Rip Off Britain' with the usual advice being given, but surely all that needs to be said is never send money to someone you've met online and never met in person.

If only life was that simple eh.

I've seen so many sad stories about this. Some people are desperately lonely I suppose. I know I would never give money to anyone I didn't know and I don't understand those who do but who knows why people do it.

I think it is as MollyNew says. These scammers build up trust with someone over a period of time before the request for help comes along - “I just need x amount of £’s to buy my ticket” (or whatever), and vulnerable people are sadly drawn in by it. It is wicked and the scum that do it need bringing to justice, but that seems to be impossible.

OldFrill

Smileless2012

Just seen this featured on 'Rip Off Britain' with the usual advice being given, but surely all that needs to be said is never send money to someone you've met online and never met in person.

If only life was that simple eh.

Why isn’t it?
We’ve all lived a good few years, possibly kissed a few frogs whether or not we found a prince,but we’re hardly innocent maidens.
Common sense is just tat, surely?

I saw a program on romance scams a few years ago. One women carried on sending this guy money even when she found out he wasn’t genuine and was a scammer. She said talking to him was better than being lonely.
It was then I realized that a lot of people who fall for these scams are so desperately lonely they almost don’t care.

it's a horrible crime , I suppose some lonely people don't want to believe it and that's what these sickos are banking on. But surely it's a red flag when someone you've only met online starts asking you for money..

RosieandherMaw

OldFrill

Smileless2012

Just seen this featured on 'Rip Off Britain' with the usual advice being given, but surely all that needs to be said is never send money to someone you've met online and never met in person.

If only life was that simple eh.

Why isn’t it?
We’ve all lived a good few years, possibly kissed a few frogs whether or not we found a prince,but we’re hardly innocent maidens.
Common sense is just tat, surely?

"We" all aren't the same. There are some incredibly emotionally vulnerable people who can be taken coerced and controlled. Often these people seem anything but vulnerable to family and friends. It's really not a joke, it's very sad.

It's a horrible crime that targets vulnerable people, then slowly but surely builds trust and grooms them until they do not realise that they are being coerced and manipulated. Thus they have become a victim where their usual rational response is overtaken.

We don't blame other victims of grooming and abuse by criminal perpetrators, so I feel a bit uncomfortable blaming the victims of romance scam financial abuse.

Sadly, common sense is not common enough.

We" all aren't the same. There are some incredibly emotionally vulnerable people who can be taken coerced and controlled. Often these people seem anything but vulnerable to family and friends. It's really not a joke, it's very sad

Nobody has ever suggested any jokes are involved. Clearly there are emotionally vulnerable people of all ages, but the advice is applicable to all.

We had a talk on scamming recently at a group I go to. It was surprising how sophisticated some scams are but also quite astonishing how some people can be taken in by unbelievable stories from scammers pretending to be famous people.

Some off these scams are heartbreaking. There was a man on TV whose elderly, widowed mother lost everything to someone online who promised to marry her. She died and her son found a wedding dress hanging in her bedroom.

RosieandherMaw

^We" all aren't the same. There are some incredibly emotionally vulnerable people who can be taken coerced and controlled. Often these people seem anything but vulnerable to family and friends. It's really not a joke, it's very sad^

Nobody has ever suggested any jokes are involved. Clearly there are emotionally vulnerable people of all ages, but the advice is applicable to all.

Look at what you wrote, "frogs,Princes,Innocent Maidens" all very "ha-ha" on what is a very sad topic. .

I saw that one Kate it was awful and he answered the 'phone to the scammer after she'd died.

I just wonder if the simplest advice would be the best.

My friend and I were just talking about this. There is a You Tube channel called Catfished where a woman sent nearly 3 million dollars to someone she had never met. Apart from being amazed that someone could be so gullible, I was amazed at how many ‘ordinary’ looking women have access to so much money.
So, women can be desperately lonely, but why on earth would they send hundreds of thouands to a complete stranger?

Allira

We had a talk on scamming recently at a group I go to. It was surprising how sophisticated some scams are but also quite astonishing how some people can be taken in by unbelievable stories from scammers pretending to be famous people.

Like this one-

youtu.be/dahfNc1ibQc?si=p1LVMy7TF60YeI-A

Some very intelligent women (and men I'm sure), sometimes fall for these scams.

OldFrill some have no family or friends, so crave attention, even just a chat, I feel desperately sad for them and fortunate I’ve got a large social circle along with close family.
You’re right, no one is aware of them, so no changes are noted.

I saw one of the Australia border programmes this man probable in his 30 s I believe he was from USa had been sending money to some (non existent ‘ girlfriend’ ) for those ten years He went over to visit her and of course no one was there to meet him The airport workers clearly tried to explain to him he had been scammed obviously he wasn’t allowed in the country and had to return on the next plane but he wasn’t having none of said he would still be supporting her financially when he got back to the states!!!
You just cant argue with stupid

Not quite the same, but does anyone else remember the Irish girl who was targeted by a terrorist? He pretended to be in love with her, was going to marry her - in Israel. He got her to buy a ticket for an El Al flight, and shortly before, gave her a suitcase to take, to put her wedding dress in.

However the El Al staff were so switched on, security-wise (they had to be) that they had her down as suspect from the word go, since she didn’t fit any of the usual passenger profiles.

However they let her check in, but immediately checked her baggage - of course it contained a bomb. The bloke had intended to blow up the whole plane, with the poor girl in it.
I’ve often wondered how the poor thing must have felt when she found out what her ‘beloved fiancé’ had planned for her.

I don't remember that Witzend, how awful .

Don’t take the criticism to heart RosiesMaw. You made a direct comment which added to the discussion imo.
Daddima made a similarly direct comment querying how desperate loneliness could result in sending hundreds of thousands to complete strangers.

Inevitably I see different sides here but it’s not unreasonable to reflect on our long lives lived and the hope we’d have learned a thing or two

OldFrill

RosieandherMaw

We" all aren't the same. There are some incredibly emotionally vulnerable people who can be taken coerced and controlled. Often these people seem anything but vulnerable to family and friends. It's really not a joke, it's very sad

Nobody has ever suggested any jokes are involved. Clearly there are emotionally vulnerable people of all ages, but the advice is applicable to all.

Look at what you wrote, "frogs,Princes,Innocent Maidens" all very "ha-ha" on what is a very sad topic. .

Oh for heavens sake - talking about kissing a few frogs before finding a prince (or not) - what is your beef with that Old Frill ? I imagine most of us have been there, done that except maybe some who’re still working their way through frogs .
That’s life.

Innocent maidens - again what is your problem. Having reached the years of discretion (hopefully through a few decades of indiscretion ) I think it is safe enough to say that innocent maidens we are not.
What happened to “lived experience”?
No I don’t feel offended at your criticism perhaps bemused and thank you Iam for your concern, but if I can’t say what I feel on this site with impunity, it’s not for me.
Perhaps that was the intention?
Just one thing - I won’t be bullied,