Romance scams

Iam64

To add, I’m often surprised at offence taken in response to a fairly innocuous comment, but we are all different.

So am I 😏

It's horribly unbelievable when the target is a widow whose late husband apparently worked his socks off to provide AND leave a comfortable amount in the bank so that his wife won't have any financial worries if he goes first.

Then she hands the lot over to a 4 star general/oil rig worker/bank executive/heart surgeon she's fallen for online, never met, never will meet and is blanked when she admits she has no more money.

It's a betrayal of her husband's memory and his efforts to make her future secure when he passed away.

I've had a call in the last couple of years about my Amazon Prime account, I let them ramble on, played the doddery old lady and eventually, when I had wasted a lot of his time, asked him to send me a prawn curry and a couple of naans, he quickly hung up.

Hear hear again!

👏👏👏

👏👏 spot on Rosie and all.

Scribbles

Iam64
Labelling ordinary feelings as mental health issues needs to stop.

Hear, hear!

Hear hear again!

Iam64
Labelling ordinary feelings as mental health issues needs to stop.

Hear, hear!

Loneliness is not a mental health issue. To suggest it is, diminishes serious mh issues such as psychosis, schizophrenia, clinical anxiety/depression. These mh problems are similar to physical health diagnosis. They need medical intervention, including drug therapy.
Loneliness is a feeling, experienced by many people because of circumstances. Inevitably, if the lonely individual is unable or unwilling to make changes to try and ease their situation, they may get depressed or anxious.

Labelling ordinary feelings as mental health issues needs to stop

RosieandherMaw

^Loneliness is a mental health issue^

I don’t agree.
Loneliness is sad, loneliness is to be sympathised with but loneliness is also something we can all feel at different times in our lives and for different reasons, but to include it in “mental
health issues” cheapens true mental health issues like Depression.

I agree.

Because of such perceptions, real mental health illnesses are at risk of being devalued.

I became aware of this town some years ago.
I’m not for one moment defending the scum that scam people.
But they aren’t all bad people.
Watch this video and learn how some innocent people end up in these scam centres.
www.google.com/search?q=thousands+of+prisoners+working+in+scam+town+myanmar&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-gb&client=safari#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:795fddee,vid:dRbYZZa1UX4,st:0

Loneliness is a mental health issue

I don’t agree.
Loneliness is sad, loneliness is to be sympathised with but loneliness is also something we can all feel at different times in our lives and for different reasons, but to include it in “mental
health issues” cheapens true mental health issues like Depression.

Scribbles

Sadly, common sense is not common enough.

I think that's an unfair generalisation. It's not always about sense and whether most people have it. Loneliness is a mental health issue.

barmcake

'Oh dear' indeed. I felt like Marilyn Monroe in Turkey, when in fact I look more like Hattie Jacques. Going from a country where older ladies are invisible to one where young men are fawning over you, I suppose it's inevitable that some will be taken in.

I shouldn't laugh as it is a serious subject but your post made me chuckle!

'Oh dear' indeed. I felt like Marilyn Monroe in Turkey, when in fact I look more like Hattie Jacques. Going from a country where older ladies are invisible to one where young men are fawning over you, I suppose it's inevitable that some will be taken in.

barmcake - It's understandable why that could happen at some level. It's not easy to know one used to be (for many people) somewhere through on the "passable - beautiful" spectrum for looks and realised Mother Nature has removed that. I know the feeling - having been at the "attractive" part of the spectrum and I miss that/I want it back....but one has to be realistic and do what you can to look reasonable still....but recognise you're just not being seen that way any more. I tell myself "If even Brigit Bardot can go from gorgeous to Oh Heck level with her looks over the years = what hope have those of us at a lower standard of looks in the first place got of still looking like ourselves as we get older?"

We have to be pragmatic and think "I don't look like Me anymore - and I'll just have to do the best I can about that and recognise no-one is likely to fancy me any more - darn it!"

Those were the days when maybe we could think "Got one in hand (ie a boyfriend) and several on the waiting list should a vacancy arise". We look in the mirror (or try not to look in the mirror if we can help it.....) and have to accept what it's telling us, ie "Oh dear....".

When I lived in Turkey it was common to see 70 year old ladies with 24 year old waiters. The scammers played the long game to get hold of property and money.

It was no good trying to persuade them they were being scammed. Their boyfriend was always different; and when it did happen, they were too embarrassed to talk about it.

My disabled friend went to Thailand for a holiday and came back with a wife. All his friends here were really worried as he was so soft hearted and sure she would run off once she had a British passport.

Well, we were all proved wrong and she took care of him for twenty years until his death.

Daddima

petra

How doyou help the elderly lady who featured on Spam intercepters a while back.
She had been on the phone for 2 hours. The team couldn’t contact her.
She did eventually cut the call because she had to find some information the scammer wanted.
Nick jumped in quick and told her who he was and what was happening.
Her response was ^oh yes, I watch you every week^

Yes, Petra, I saw two on You Tube yesterday, a lady and a man, and they both said they watched the programme!

Yes, the man yesterday caught out by the National Crime Agency scam; he's bought gift vouchers. When they contacted him he said he watched Scam Interceptors every day!

petra

How doyou help the elderly lady who featured on Spam intercepters a while back.
She had been on the phone for 2 hours. The team couldn’t contact her.
She did eventually cut the call because she had to find some information the scammer wanted.
Nick jumped in quick and told her who he was and what was happening.
Her response was ^oh yes, I watch you every week^

Yes, Petra, I saw two on You Tube yesterday, a lady and a man, and they both said they watched the programme!

OldFrill

Wyllow3

But dont these "maxi scams" rely on "believing the false face being presented is genuine?"

It's the same technique whether it's one person or a business, gain emotional control and coercion follows.

Thank you for telling your experience, I can empathise. I remain in fear 40 years after my relationship with a psychopathic manipulator. Moved hundreds of miles, changed my name, sacrificed every friendship - never stop looking over my shoulder.

The more its spoken about it, the better.

The better for young women growing up knowing the possibility,

the better for those trapped in these marriages to realise they are not alone,

the better we can put on police an other authorities to really accept these crimes and put resources into them,

the better its accepted , no, one is not making it all up,

the better one realises how good some men (and of course, sometimes women) are at concealing initial characters and understand the dynamics of control and manipulation

OldFrill: well done, it sounds like you got it far worse, when I went to the police 3 years ago coercive abuse wasnt understood too well by all, but it was most definitely accepted as a "thing".

This is on itv This Morning. I should have said.

www.facebook.com/watch/?v=605338132552896

Please watch this......
86-year-old Janet was caring for her husband when she received a call from someone claiming to be in the Police Fraud Squad who convinced her that the only way to protect her £43K life savings was to purchase two Rolex watches, which were later collected by courier. Janet began to doubt the exchange and called 999 - only

to discover she’d fallen victim to a scam, she shares her story.

I was going to be judgemental about where some of these women (is it always women?) get their money from- however I remember how I was scammed myself a few years ago.

I wasn't lonely-but living with a partner but the relationship was fragile and is now over. Maybe I was looking to connect with someone after the loss of my mum.

I received a message from a young man in Uganda who was trying to set up an orphanage. We exchanged several messages about his work and he seemed very convincing. I sent him nothing because I felt wary about his so called work, but spent a lot of time finding charities that might help etc. I looked up where he said he lived and it all seemed genuine. I liked the idea of helping someone directly without the middle-man.

After a few weeks he wrote saying he was in hospital and was worried about the kids he cared for- he said he had TB. He said he need money for medicine so he could go home to care for the kids.

I looked up the local hospital and thought about paying the money directly to them, but he said it wasn't that hospital.

I sent him £200 because it was all I could afford.

He then seemed to be out of hospital very quickly for someone with TB- he sent photos of himself with the kids and looked very healthy.

I then ignored any more messages from him, but a few weeks later an American woman contacted me to say she had flown out there to help him, but was disgusted to find he was a scammer.
The children were real but he wasn't helping them at all but using them to get money. She had started helping the kids directly and he soon left- no doubt to find more needy kids he could exploit.
I am writing all this to say we shouldn't really judge these people too harshly. These criminals are immoral and will do anything to obtain money from trusting individuals.
Yes, people should be careful with what they do with their money. I lost £200 of mine but learned a very valuable lesson.

Wyllow3

But dont these "maxi scams" rely on "believing the false face being presented is genuine?"

It's the same technique whether it's one person or a business, gain emotional control and coercion follows.

Thank you for telling your experience, I can empathise. I remain in fear 40 years after my relationship with a psychopathic manipulator. Moved hundreds of miles, changed my name, sacrificed every friendship - never stop looking over my shoulder.

But dont these "maxi scams" rely on "believing the false face being presented is genuine?"