Upset by negative comments about my appearance

So you are number three in husband's quest for Miss Perfection .
Of course ,none of us look the same as we did when younger.
Is he that great ?
Has his hair line receded ?
Is he a little paunchy ?

It's very tempting to do the same back to him .
And see how he likes a taste of his own medicine !

I experienced similar abuse after being love bombed by a guy .
We were supposed to be getting married.
Suddenly he didn't like my clothes-too long
I've never worn short skirts even when young and slim.
Then my shoes .
Did I have to wear flats?
Then my hair - did I always wear it up ?

Soon it was a constant diatribe against me in everything that I did and said .

Why?
Why did he behave like that ?
I once heard him mutter under his breath ,"Why do I do it ?Why do I always ruin things?"
Yet he persisted.
And I walked.... in fact I ran .
Easy as our relationship had endured for a few months .
Not so easy for you.

Sit down when alone and write down what's good in your relationship and what's bad and how you feel and DELETE .
When bad things outweigh the good - it's time to think about leaving .

And Wyllow and Von are both so right -please follow their advice .
Record his bullying .
And make a plan.
Be clever.
Be cautious.
Be very careful who you confide in.
Take great care.
Wishing you lots of luck .

You know you deserve better than this . Follow your instincts, get your ducks in a row , collect as much evidence as you can . Make your plans and leave as soon as you can . This is not a healthy relationship. You are married to a bully!!. Do not give a 2nd thought about what others may think. Your priority is to protect your mental health. I hope you have children/ good friends/ family who will support you. I wish you well for your future happiness - go and find it - it is out there. Good luck.

There’s probably a good reason why 2 previous wives have done one.

He sounds like a nasty bully I would cut my losses and leave pronto

Leave him and live the life you want . He is a bully and you deserve better.

The longer you stay the more your confidence will be eroded. Sort out your finances, make concrete plans for the practicalities like housing, consult a solicitor and then go. You do not deserve to be treated like this. You will have a difficult year but after that you will be free to be you.
I wish you the very best.

Babe, I know I might get banned from GN for saying this swearword, but he's an a***hole, he's self-obsessed, he should get a room as he's totally in love with himself, the sort that stands in front of mirrors all day worshipping the body and ginormous inflated ego that he sees.

He's piddly, pathetic, arrogant, obnoxious, sexist, and disablist, and he's the sort of rubbish you should be binning.

If there's some way you can leave, do it as soon as you possibly can. DON'T tell him you're leaving him, don't tell him he can do his own boring housework, etc. Walk out and never ever go back.

Best of luck.

Today , I'm hoping to meet up to support a lady called Teresa , who is going through a living hell .
It doesn't take a brain surgeon to see just how broken and demoralised she is.
I can only listen to her and I can't influence her into leaving .
One of my friends from her Catholic Church has also tried to help her and failed.
Slim,sweet and pretty and the mother of four kids -she's terrified of her husband.
He's told her not to cook as she can't and not to clean the house because she's incapable.

Teresa does go out and has some friends.
I don't know what they advise her to do .

It makes me wonder why a man would behave in such a cruel and bullying way.
I believe that he's deeply insecure and that he thinks that by dominating Teresa he'll ensure that she's too scared to leave him because he makes her believe that she's an inadequate idiot who can't cope alone .

Tell him to leave

If you really cannot face divorce, then you are going to fight hard and long, and may end up getting nowhere.

Apart from divorce, you have two choices:

tell your husband that you will not put up with him making unkind remarks about your appearance. If he preferred you when you had eating disorders and were clinically underweight, then there is something seriously wrong with his values.

Probably, he will take no notice at all - he does not sound as if he would, even if you go down the petty, school playground route and retort by telling him exactly what you see as his physical faults. Doing this will not make you feel better, so I hope you will not succumb to the temptation.

Get yourself a good psycologist who can help you built up your self-confidence.

Find yourself a circle of good friends who like you for the person you are NOW and spend time with them and I hope when you get used to f eeling liked and wanted as you - not as a dream woman, you will find the gumption to tell the oaf you are married to, exactly where he gets off.

I understand why nearly everyone is telling you to leave. You are this man's 3rd wife - does that not tell you that two other women found him impossible to live with? But if you cannot or will not leave, you will need to change things, and it is probably easier to change yourself into a more confident person than change him.

No-one who truly loved you would say such things. He sounds a horrible man tbh. He is bullying you and then blaming you by saying you are over reacting. You are not over reacting. I think he is playing on the fact that you have medical conditions and he already knows you are upset but provides no support. This is not love. Life is too short to feel you have to stay with him. Single life is wonderful. Make plans to leave dont discuss them him or give him chance to undermine you anymore. If he cycles he probably wears the lycra. Tell him he looks ridiculous in it!! Good luck x

I'm with Momac : I think I know why he's on his third wife.
Only you can say whether or not this is acceptable to you. What advice would you give to a friend who described this scenario to you?

Angelnan, try to be realistic. Is the man worth hanging on to?What are you trying to get by hanging on to him?