It’s every time and I’m ready to say something!

Hello, I'm pretty new here so pleased to virtually meet you.
I'd ask him straight why he does it. Don't be cross, just matter of fact, say you'd like to know out of curiosity. It may work.

AmberGran

No point in saying anything.

DH manages the dishwasher, religiously filling and emptying it. When he empties it any saucepans are put on the hob (the cupboard they live in can't be opened when the dishwasher is open). And there they stay until I put them away. I did once ask him why he didn't put them away but he just looked a bit blank. Don't even think he was aware that he forgot about them. I just decided to be grateful he wasn't someone who sat on their ar** and did nothing.

Our washed up and clean things are moved from the dishwasher or draining board once they have air dried and arranged on the work surfaces so that they can be properly dry before they are put away.
It’s OK when just us at home but when people come to stay tidying up becomes a full time job!

If he cooks I clear away
If I cook I clear away
Something not fair there!

My husband also does the loading/unloading of the dishwasher but the only things he puts away are the crockery and the cutlery. It really isn't a problem for me as I'd rather he left it than put it away in the wrong place.

As for the leaving a little bit of food on one's plate, my children were always forced encouraged to eat everything, though I was careful not to overface them. My children are following similar rules with my grandchildren, though both will let them leave things (once they've tried them) if they really don't like them.
I get really irritated when people make a point of leaving food, Eddieslass's mother in law and her "Mr Manners" would have driven me to distraction

Jeanieallergy21

Think yourself lucky he only leaves the odd thing behind! I do most of the cooking and he who doesn't cook (apart from making the odd salad or something simple like canned soup) does the washing up. Except that he's always too tired after dinner to wash up, so the dishes stand overnight. And then if he's out for a walk or something the next day, they stand there all day too! I used to give in and do it myself but not any more - I've even got a couple of extra pans so I can cook the next evening without the previous day's pans being washed! I think we're reverting to being students

I also do most of the cooking though my husband can warm soup, boil potatoes and cook sausages if in dire need of food. Salad would definitely be a step too far! I think he would probably live on ready meals if I didn't cook. This doesn't bother me at all, I'd rather have a nice edible meal than have him cook it for me.
We only run the dishwasher when it's completely full and have enough crockery and cutlery for that, though I do sometimes summon the Staff to wash a saucepan if I need it for a meal.

My DH cooks and clears away 😊

I cook and clear away. If my husband does clear up, the dishes arrive in the kitchen, but they are rarely put in the dishwasher. It's probably just as well though, he doesn't load it properly.

I was always grateful that my husband cleared up when I was cooking unfortunately he often cleared away the things I was using at the time.

Just happened to me: had mixed cornflour with water and left on ramekin by cooker to use. Turned my back and it was in the dishwasher!

Slightly different theme but still on the aibu spectrum. My husband can never find anything and I mean NEVER unless it jumps out at him from a drawer or cupboard. I go to help and see the scissors, sock or whatever it might be immediately . I’ve heard this is a man thing but WHY?

www.tiktok.com/@thedashleys/video/7492842048945425694?lang=en

I found this amusing.

I wash and he dries the dishes and puts them away so I shouldn’t tell tales!

GrannyGravy13

Mine is the opposite, if I am cooking and he is in the kitchen he clears up things I am still using 🤬

Mine too, can get a bit exasperating but I cope

My son has lived with me for six years now and doesn't load the dishwasher he just leaves everything on the work top. This is actually my own fault because if he does put stuff in the dishwasher I always come along and rearrange it because he does it wrong (I think) We doe share the cooking though.

BrandyGran The theory is that because men are the hunters their brains work best scanning the horizon, probably looking for something mammoth sized. Because women are the gatherers we find it easy to focus on stuff right in front of us - as if we were searching for nuts or berries in the hedgerow.

BrandyGran

Slightly different theme but still on the aibu spectrum. My husband can never find anything and I mean NEVER unless it jumps out at him from a drawer or cupboard. I go to help and see the scissors, sock or whatever it might be immediately . I’ve heard this is a man thing but WHY?

Mines the same!
Similar in supermarkets - he once came home from a huge Asda saying they had no loo cleaner.
No, none at all!
Yes, of course I looked! Yes, I did look PROPERLY!

He’s never quite lived that one down. Nowadays, if he can’t find something (i.e. if it doesn’t jump out at him) he finds a staff member to ask.

My DH is the dishwasher monitor and he is quite creative about where he puts stuff away.

Reported.

Put all the stuff he leaves in a box and put it on his chair?!

Maybe it's because he knows you'll clear up after him?!

I'm very lucky, SO cooks, cleans and does the laundry. I do my fair share too, if I can get there first!

Just tell him.

I could have written this thread. He also never cleans the sink and leaves bits in the plug hole saver. Grrr.

My husband says he will cook the dinner then asks me to sort out the veg and anything else I want to eat. Once the dinner is cooked he then asks me to dish it up as he is not sure what I want to eat. Dinner being cooked by him actually involves putting it in the oven or turning on the hob and keeping an eye on it while it cooks.

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I think many men work on the principle of why keep a dog and bark yourself
I personally think some just know you might grumble but finish the job any way
However last night I wasn’t around to finish of Had something else to do
On my return the kitchen was immaculate. Guess what I hadn’t realised the boiler man was coming this morning

Eddieslass

My mother in law always left a tiny amount of potato on her plate after a meal and said it was “for Mr Manners”

I had a Great-Aunt who did this, she would leave a tiny piece of everything on the plate, apparently it was good manners to show that she had been given plenty of food, thank you.
She was Great-Aunt by marriage btw. Our family are everything (although admittedly it was a struggle to eat the sprouts).