It’s every time and I’m ready to say something!

Women end up married to Men who can't/wont cook, change nappies and bath babies because they don't know this until they marry them. When they are going out together and are enamoured with each other these things are not normally discussed. Circumstances continually change and both couples need to adapt to meet them. Women have had equality in the work place for a number of years but many still do not have it in the home especially once they have had chidren.

keepingquiet

Why doesn't he cook?

Men are a complete mystery to me...

I once knew a lady who utterly refused to let her husband or anyone else cook in HER kitchen, which is a very good reason for one spouse not cooking.

My DIL is hopeless in the kitchen, and not very good at sorting washing either, so she was more than delighted to discover that we had taught our son both these essential things.

OP I would long since have asked my husband to do ALL the washing up, and not leave odd things out. Better to do so kindly, than wait till you explode!

Well last night was a revelation, we had 8 guests for dinner,when I had seated every one my husband took his place at the table, I gave him a look that could kill.

He then hurried through and started helping me serve.

He was helpful all night and cleared everything away!

keepingquiet

Why doesn't he cook?

Men are a complete mystery to me...

The mystery to me , is how do women end up married to a man who can't cook or never cooks, changes nappies, and baths babies, looks after their children and home.

I do this in relatives’ houses Primrose53. In my case it’s because it seems rude and presumptive to open someone else’s cupboards when you don’t know what’s in them. I’d hate someone looking in my cupboards!

Eddieslass

My mother in law always left a tiny amount of potato on her plate after a meal and said it was “for Mr Manners”

My husband does this at almost every meal saying, it’s for “the poor people”! Drives me nuts!

Honestly, this is the type of thing my DH does every day!

Nope, you’re not being unreasonable, but men are a mystery we will never solve.

I simply mutter and swear under my breath, move, clean or put away the offending items and move on!

I’m finding these threads really amusing

DH since retiring has become king of the dishwasher

Nothing I put in there is in the right place or needs rotating etc etc or moving to another level

Obviously I was doing it wrong for many many years and there is only one ( his) way to do it

Similarly with unloading it has to be done in a certain way which involves a lot of crashing about to display that an activity is underway

Often this has to happen when I’m at that end of the kitchen in a separate activity eg using the coffee maker
My task is always lower priority the unloading has to happen NOW

I might get hassled out of the way or tutted at
I had also been permitted to do this activity for years but I’m no longer capable it seems

So odd
Funny but a bit sad

Today DH's latest head scratches (for me) was to wash an empty glass jar for the recycling bin. So far so good but instead of putting it on the draining board he plonked it upside down on a worktop the other end of the kitchen. So dripping water was pooling on the worktop then dribbling down the cupboard door. Half hour later he goes over to it so I thought he'd seen sense but no, he picked it up, peered into it then put it back down still upsidedown It's still there now 3 hours later. I've given up trying to fathom out how his mind works.

My husband is king of the dishwasher! He has rattled my cage so much in the past! I never put stuff in there properly etc. So I just let him do it. This is husband no. 2 and he does like to cook. So I do week days and he does weekends. The first husband did nothing.

We take it in turns to do the cooking as we both enjoy it. I clear away and load the dishwasher, and he empties it and puts everything away. A fair compromise and I don't have any complaints.

I’ve done away with a washing up bowl for this very reason !

Yes , always the odd bowl or saucepan in the sink , never quite finding a space by rearranging the dishwasher .

SeaWoozle

Put all the stuff he leaves in a box and put it on his chair?!

Maybe it's because he knows you'll clear up after him?!

I'm very lucky, SO cooks, cleans and does the laundry. I do my fair share too, if I can get there first!

Sewoozle
Oh yes I have tried this or should I say , I do this often .

All the bits that just appear on the corners of the worktop throughout the day !
Never going anywhere just PUT there & when reminded or asked about they are all for something or another !
But still not moved .
So in a box they go , a lovely wooden one sitting on an open shelf in the kitchen or if bigger items into something that he can take into whatever shed they belong !!
Frustrated.com

Oh this is so annoying isn’t it !

My DH also leaves things out , whenever he is in the kitchen
So take the scenario of making Coffee . Coffee .Machine & Ketlle ( whichever he uses ) are sitting together on right hand side of hob .
He’ll take the kettle or coffee cup thingy ( that the beans grind into ) over to the other side of hob & leave them there !
Milk from fridge also left .
Any lids ie from tea caddy or biscuit barrel also left , right there .
Then there’s the drawer left open .

When , I mention that he’s left them the response is ‘ I’ll do it in a minute’

Always in a minute!

My husband does absolutely nothing - so at least you lucky ladies have some help. I even have to remind him to actually make me a hot drink as it never occurs to him to make any.

V3ra

We take turns cooking but my husband always clears away and loads the dishwasher.
I often rearrange things and retrieve some which are better washed by hand.
What does annoy me though is his seeming inability to close a cupboard door he's opened, whatever room he's been in 🙄

Oh gosh, you cook your husband? Bit by bit, I'm assuming! 🤣

One of my bugbears is the "I'm just leaving it to soak".
In other words I'll just leave it in the greasy water till it's cold and yukky and then you can wash it!

Seabreeze

I could have written this thread. He also never cleans the sink and leaves bits in the plug hole saver. Grrr.

Mine does the opposite - takes the plughole saver (didn't know that was what it was called!) and washes the bits down. What does he think it's there for?!

My son is the same. He will put his plates.wtc on the worktop.above the dishwasher. All he has to.do.is.pull the door down and arranged them in the slots!

The theory is that because men are the hunters their brains work best scanning the horizon, probably looking for something mammoth sized. Because women are the gatherers we find it easy to focus on stuff right in front of us - as if we were searching for nuts or berries in the hedgerow.

Well, that's interesting, Deedaa!

Filed away for future reference when DH can't find something which is in front of his nose 😀

Our family are everything
Ate everything!

Eddieslass

My mother in law always left a tiny amount of potato on her plate after a meal and said it was “for Mr Manners”

I had a Great-Aunt who did this, she would leave a tiny piece of everything on the plate, apparently it was good manners to show that she had been given plenty of food, thank you.
She was Great-Aunt by marriage btw. Our family are everything (although admittedly it was a struggle to eat the sprouts).

I think many men work on the principle of why keep a dog and bark yourself
I personally think some just know you might grumble but finish the job any way
However last night I wasn’t around to finish of Had something else to do
On my return the kitchen was immaculate. Guess what I hadn’t realised the boiler man was coming this morning

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