Daughter &Husband won’t let anyone see newborn

MissAdventure

Feverjo

For all those complaining about not getting messages and photos, the irony of ruminating on the glory days when you allegedly did things the right way, is that it shows your very modern addiction to instant gratification by way of mobile phones with cameras today. You didn't have access to mobile phone with cameras back then, and yet you all survived without seeing photos or receiving instant text messages. In the rare instance that a young couple decides to disconnect from all that for a short while for something truly meaningful to them, they are villains. All because they aren't doing what you want them too. We can only become new parents once in a lifetime. Let them be happy. Why center yourself in someone else's life choices? Another irony in this little thread, that we think it's okay to insult people because they aren't living according to your own standards. And the young couple is self-centered?

That's because we saw the baby in person.

And if you lived further away? Were people able to magically transport themselves or did they cope like rational people should know how to?

'Giving mum a bit of rest' does not mean cutting contact completely. If it were my daughter I would worry that something was seriously wrong if she or the father wouldn't even talk to me, four days after the birth.

Feverjo

For all those complaining about not getting messages and photos, the irony of ruminating on the glory days when you allegedly did things the right way, is that it shows your very modern addiction to instant gratification by way of mobile phones with cameras today. You didn't have access to mobile phone with cameras back then, and yet you all survived without seeing photos or receiving instant text messages. In the rare instance that a young couple decides to disconnect from all that for a short while for something truly meaningful to them, they are villains. All because they aren't doing what you want them too. We can only become new parents once in a lifetime. Let them be happy. Why center yourself in someone else's life choices? Another irony in this little thread, that we think it's okay to insult people because they aren't living according to your own standards. And the young couple is self-centered?

That's because we saw the baby in person.

Purplepixie

I think they are acting unreasonably. All this twaddle about bonding gets on my wick!!!! They will need babysitters in the future yet they are denying you all of the things that happens in the early days. I feel annoyed and upset for you. Hugs.

They aren't denying anyone anything. No one is entitled to anything. Let's stop this rubbish.

biglouis

I know that when I was a baby the belief then was that you were strict with children and did not allow them to dominate the entire houseshold. They were fed, washed and burped and then put down. If they cried then then it "exercised their lungs". help from relatives was probably welcomed to give new mums a bit of rest.

Thankfully times changed as we became more knowledgable. Fathers are needed more than other relatives because fathers today are expected to actually parent. Better that the parents support each other and give each other a rest than to depend on extended family.

I think they are acting unreasonably. All this twaddle about bonding gets on my wick!!!! They will need babysitters in the future yet they are denying you all of the things that happens in the early days. I feel annoyed and upset for you. Hugs.

For all those complaining about not getting messages and photos, the irony of ruminating on the glory days when you allegedly did things the right way, is that it shows your very modern addiction to instant gratification by way of mobile phones with cameras today. You didn't have access to mobile phone with cameras back then, and yet you all survived without seeing photos or receiving instant text messages. In the rare instance that a young couple decides to disconnect from all that for a short while for something truly meaningful to them, they are villains. All because they aren't doing what you want them too. We can only become new parents once in a lifetime. Let them be happy. Why center yourself in someone else's life choices? Another irony in this little thread, that we think it's okay to insult people because they aren't living according to your own standards. And the young couple is self-centered?

I know that when I was a baby the belief then was that you were strict with children and did not allow them to dominate the entire houseshold. They were fed, washed and burped and then put down. If they cried then then it "exercised their lungs". help from relatives was probably welcomed to give new mums a bit of rest.

Very hurtful,but you can make up for it later,once you hold that lovely baby all will be forgotten.

You’re not alone🥰
We had to wait 2 weeks before my son and dil allowed us to travel and visit our long awaited grandson. It still hurts today. We couldn’t wait for family to visit our new birn son.

In regards to people’s comments about photos, I think A lot of new parents aren’t sending photos because people will take them and post them to social media without their consent or send to other people, etc. and in the world of technology these photos can up in the hands of the wrong people…

MissAdventure

You're sorely mistaken if you think "everybody" wants to whip a baby away from its mother.

Tell that to the myriad of posters on Mumsnet who for some reason don't have the backbone to tell the grabby relatives to give the baby back and leave. Some family members are respectful and considerate. Others feel entitled to hold the baby for hours because "mum and dad see the baby everyday". It's a real issue for many.

I think it's a brilliant idea

Keep vulnerable newborns away from germs

Ensure Mum has time to recover instead of worrying about house guests

Having the partner on his paternity leave so both can rest and bond

I think we need to look at the upsides for parents and newborn here instead of the downsides for family

That perhaps helps to explain Harry and Megan's reluctance to publish photos of Archie when he was born?

Isnt it a bit like Harry and Megan, perhaps a picture of little toes might be sent.

Shelf life - it’s not harsh when OP is posting to a public forum, OP will be subject to different perspectives. Don’t post to a public forum if you can’t handle seeing things from a different perspective when asking for advice

This is how the younger generation are now I’m afraid not worth getting upset over although I totally agree it’s very odd and I’d feel hurt! Apparently they need several days to bond. I can’t help smiling to myself but I’m afraid that’s how it is

No one does this where I am in the NW ....like no one .....new mums can't wait to show off their babies ......I was present for the birth of both of my DDs girls ( as are many of my granny friends ) and saw my younger DSs DD when she was around 3 hours old .....bonding is fine ...but it doesn't need to be at the exclusion of everyone else

Agree

Very strange behaviour to me. You are the grandparents

Quite harsh Putplegran! The OP is not wanting to interfere or take over she simply wants to see her DD and GD. I would have accepted it if it had happened to me , fortunately it didn't. Surely a photo is not too much to ask ?

Could be many reasons but I seem to remember something like this when a baby was born with something wrong and the couple needed time to come to terms with it themselves before fielding loads of questions from friends and relatives. I am sure everything's fine in your case but try not to pressure them. If nothing else it could be that the mother feels she needs complete self-focus to establish breast feeding

Sadly that's the latest fashion, young mums are told to keep family away and just enjoy getting to know their baby. New mums also believe that they should ignore any advice given by older mums as being outdated

You're sorely mistaken if you think "everybody" wants to whip a baby away from its mother.

I am very lucky in that when my daughter went into labour for her second son they rang me straightaway , and I drove like a demon for four hours to pick up my older grandson from nursery. !!!
I got there in time and took him to his home . We were there to welcome the new baby and parents back home later that day ! So exciting ,
They were much more secretive about the first born though. I understood.
Funnily enough the bond between the first born and myself is very strong and I put it down to looking after him so much when the new baby arrived. He was 20 months old.
I know I’m very lucky to have had that time with them all