wanting to spend Christmas on my own

It's awful that White Christmas has to turn into White lies!!!!! I quite understand anyone wanting to be on their own. Enforced merriment is not everybody's cuppatea! Btw I am very impressed by the really imaginative names you all use. Just love 'em!!!!

Whilst I think it is completely your decision to decide how to spend Christmas, I find it baffling that you want to without knowing your reasons. For example, my DD and DIL hate crowds or eating in front of others so it makes them anxious so I find it easy to understand why. Before they were able to say, I used to feel quite hurt but I realise that was my problem and didn't try to persuade them. I just always hoped they'd change their minds one year. Of course, some people are just loners or don't want to risk covid. Whatever your reason, there are no invalid ones but I think it helps if you can say so people don't feel rejected.

kircubbin2000

I hope to spend it alone. We have been told that the 3 households can be a bubble but we would be 4 and one of my sons is mixing with his in laws which adds contact with 2 more households . Not only would that break the rules but it adds too many people who have been mixing all over the place!

I am in this situation too. We, me with my bubble, have been having a regular weekend meal which I have enjoyed cooking. But now two student aged children have joined the household and one certainly does not restrain his activities and is also working in a restaurant. I really don't want us all together for a Christmas meal but I am lacking the courage to tell them. I have always, always done Christmas! Any advice/

I agree, V3ra, that many people may feel they have to spend Christmas with family this year, like it's compulsory because the media go on and on about it. You're not odd if you don't. People shouldn't be forced to all come together on one day just because. I didn't think like this when I was younger, however we stopped travelling to relatives at some point and stayed together at home with the children, shutting the rest of the world out. Now, I too have fantasised about not doing Christmas. It's become the season to be anything but merry in recent years. As it happens, two of my children want to spend Christmas on their own and have a rest. Not that they don't love us. Seems we're all thinking the same but leaving some things unspoken so as not to offend. We can spend time together soon after, hopefully, and it will be much more enjoyable.

I love Christmas on my own. It started an a necessity after divorce when the children were at their Dad’s, but it’s always been lovely. I get in smoked salmon, champagne, a tin of Quality Street and a box set of DVDs, and have a thoroughly self-indulgent time. No cooking, no washing up or clearing up, and if I drink too much, I can fall asleep on the settee.

My friends and colleagues don’t get this at all. Every year I spend Advent fending off invitations to other people’s family Christmases. At least COVID has done me one favour - the limits on household mixing mean that no-one has space in their bubbles for unrelated people.

I confess I don't really like Christmas, but am married to a man who loves it all. This is a wonderful excuse for us to spend the Day alone but he's doing his best to get out of it, asking family over or even asking them to take us - so far I've managed to insist we're staying home.
I hope you can stay strong and be as firm as everyone advises. I'm struggling I admit.
I dread him coming home one day and stating that we're going to one of his huge families' for Christmas. (I'm sure they won't really want us anyway).

You can be on your own any old weekend, embrace Christmas with your family

I am spending Christmas on My own
Told my son and daughter my plans
They weren’t too happy but they understood.Hopefully next year will be a better year for all of us and we can have Xmas with all the family together

I understand where they are coming from, Christmas is about families being together usually, but this year is so different. I do not think you are being unreasonable at all, it is your choice. Whatever you do, I hope you have a most enjoyable day, once your decision has been made, do not overthink it, it is just too tiring.

Even without Covid, I still may decide to stay home alone, and it won’t bother me one bit. We always went away at Christmas, because neither of us were fans, but last year the Bodach was dying, so I had dinner at number two son’s, but I think I was on autopilot. Covid has meant that I haven’t really had a chance to get used to going to things on my own, so if I decide on ‘the day’ I can’t, (or don’t want) to face it, that’s what I’ll do.
My family all know that I won’t be swayed, so they’ll not argue.

'Staying at home alone is only a sad experience, if you would rather be with others and can’t.'

This is so true. I've struggled with deciding this year. My son and his wife and my 2 month old grandson are living in Germany so coming over isn't realistic. My daughter lives in Glasgow and I'm near London. She came to stay with me in October and we went to visit the newborn together before the family moved to Germany. Understandably she's not keen to drive down again so soon, especially as she can't see other friends in this area, so I'm going to her. I'm dreading the 400+ mile journey but will enjoy being with her. She would be upset if I didn't go and would have to spend the day with her local bubble, while I'd be alone here as all my friends have their own family bubbles.

I wouldn't mind too much being alone - I think she needs me to go more than I need to be there - and it is such a long drive without being able to stop over but lockdown has been hard for her. Normally I'd book into a hotel half way for a break, but that isn't possible now with the area half way all being in tier 3 so can't go before the 23rd. My other family (brother and his family) mostly live in the half way area but seeing them would be breaking the rules too!

I'm going to have to set off very early and take lots of stops for naps then coffee if I'm to survive the long drive!

Looking forward to Easter when I hope to see DS, DiL and GS again when hopefully things will be safer for them to visit.

Good luck to those of you who choose to stay home. Your families need to understand and let you do what is best for you.

I am hoping we will get the best of both worlds.
DH and I have said we won't be going as usual to my stepdaughter's for Christmas Day and have been told that our Christmas Dinner will be brought round to us.
I am also hoping they might have too much cooked potatoes and sprouts and I can make some bubble and squeak.

I like a self-indulgent Christmas Day in pyjamas, no-one knocking on the front door, eating, doing, watching what I want, on my own with food cooked beforehand.
Looking back, I endured a few 'family' Christmases entertaining people I saw once a year, fractious, bored children who wanted to be at home (I understood that) or snoozing oldies or eating food that I'd prefer cooked 'more imaginatively' or all three. (All that, knowing that the hostess had been caused a lot of stress over quite a long period of time.)

Those like myself for who spending Christmas away from loved ones is not an option will no doubt be one of those ,(call me a 'miserable old -- )who disagrees .
Life is too short. ONE day a year unless you have to travel long distance ? is it too difficult. You will have the other three hundred and sixty four days to 'wanna be alone'. I know what I would choose .

Like Highland Dreams, when my first marriage broke up I wanted to spend the first Christmas on my own but was 'bullied' into spending it with others. After that, for the next 7 years I either went abroad or happily spent the day on my own and loved it. Do what you want. Take care. x

I am with Moggie 57
wish I had adapted to being on my own. (dh died Nov.2019)
hate being on my own.

fascinating how we are all so different.. my youngest ds and dil wouldn`t mind if I said I was o.k. on my own, my eldest dil,ds and 4 gks... love me to go to them... dil likes a full house.

This is one year where you can do Christmas on your own if you wish - the virus gives everyone the perfect reason (or excuse!) to stay at home on your own without giving offence!

I don’t really like being on my own at times like this, so after a very happy Christmas last year with DD and family who are going to their in-laws this year, my sister in law has kindly invited us both over for Christmas lunch.

However, I don’t think that the virus gives a fig about Christmas Day nor stops being contagious over the festive period, and we had been worrying about safe bubbles in my sister in laws house as her daughter with g’children, including one university student, will be there, so a couple of suggestions here of a festive brunch in the park is something that we’ll think very seriously about, thank you.

Hope everyone has a lovely time, whatever you decide. ???

May be too late for this year, but do what I did for next if you still fancy a lone Christmas and don’t mind telling a couple of fibs. I told my family I was spending the day with one friend, told that friend who would want to know where I was going, that I was spending it with another friend, but went to neither and had an enjoyable, stress free day on my own. I love my family dearly but find spending from about 11am to midnight’ish with them exhausting.

By the time I met up with said friends and family last year, generally speaking discussion about Christmas was kept to a “yes, I had a nice time, what about yours?” This year I have Coronavirus as an excuse to ‘stay home and be safe’. Mobile phones allow Christmas Day calls with no clue to where one is. Staying at home alone is only a sad experience, if you would rather be with others and can’t.

Very reasonable - sounds like you will have a wonderful day of self indulgence which we all more than deserve. Enjoy!

We have also decided to stay at home for this one Christmas - better safe than sorry. Our DS called yesterday and stood in our hallway for about 20 minutes and we both felt uneasy making us realise that a few hours on Christmas Day just isn't worth the two weeks of worry afterwards.

as it stands I am having to spend it with my youngest daughter.

You do not have to do anything of the kind. You have to weigh up the risks to you - which are different to those of your children - and make your own decision.

I have chosen not to spend Christmas with my children, although I have been asked, and they respect my decision and my reasoning. They are planning ways in which we can be together in some way - outside or on zoom.

It makes me a little sad that people here have to resort to lies (even white ones) to get the day/life they want. OP, in my opinion, a 'lovely' family simply does not do pressure. They respect your wishes. I almost got caught up in this myself recently but decided to take the straight but difficult route. Pretty much sorted now but very painful at the time. I'm alone but not yet sure what I'll be doing. I feel very fortunate to have a choice. May we all have the happiest Christmas we can and..... roll on next year for all the belated ones.

I think you need to tell them, just as you have said here. We are so near to better times it would be really silly to take risks now. Infection does not know about Christmas.

It's many years since I was able to do what I want at Christmas, but left to me, I would run away somewhere remote where they've never heard of it.

I enjoyed that faringdon59 and think you are right! There is a massive social pressure which it is so hard to live up to so we must take heart we are able to withstand it and as you say be wary of others projections.