Feel used

I only babysit when I am asked in advance and then only if I don't have something already planned. The exception is if one of them is sent home from school unwell if both parents are working, as long as I'm not working too. The more available you make yourself, the more you'll get taken advantage of and feel resentful as a result. It's letting them know where the boundaries are, much the same as when you were bringing them up, just an extension of that!

JuliaM A bit judgemental on the other set of grandparents I think. The whole point is setting boundaries and if you don't and others do, then it is really up to them what they do and what you do is up to you. JMO

My daughter has two young children and I made it very clear from the start that I was not prepared to do regular childminding but I would happily do babysitting, and help in emergencies. I am the only grandparent and in my early 70s. My son-in-law and I get on extremely well. I also get to spend quality time with the whole family, and we all benefit. Lucky me.

If you are going to accommodate them, they will continue feeling entitled. They have your number. Make it clear that you need at least 12 hours' notice for cooking, shopping, and baby-sitting.