Off for the weekend

It is definitely the norm for many younger couples now and I do think it is good to retain some independence. We would never have dreamt of "doing our own thing" but why not ? My Son and Dil and Daughter and Fil have mutual friends and longstanding friends from their pre-married life and do spend time away. Looking back, there are friends I lost touch with because they lived elsewhere and visiting them alone never occurred to me.
Progress is sometimes good !

Seems to me that there may be some healthy doses of sour grapes going on here.

'We didn't do it so they shouldn't either' isn't a helpful way of fostering positive family relationships in this day and age. Times change so does disposable income and working practice. The only time I'd worry was if the parents were going away individually with friends INSTEAD of going away together or as a family.

I went away with my sister once and our menfolk got together pooling their resources to look after our 5 young children for a long weekend. We were welcomed back with open arms!!

Both DH and I sometimes had overnight (or more) stays for work while the 3 children were under 10 and I'm quite sure DH took the children to see his parents for Sunday lunch on my weekend conferences - I'm equally sure that they all enjoyed themselves.

Why wouldn't you help and support? If a friend goes away and lets us know in time, I'd usually ask their other half round for dinner one night; I've popped in to feed their pets and had them to stay as well if they're going on holiday. Our pets go and stay with friends when we go away too. Why would you treat family any differently to friends?

We're just about to take delivery of our DGC's family dog for a fortnight. Surely it's just what you do?

I went away for a training weekend leaving DH with our 3 youngest of whom was only 1. When I got back he'd managed to sell the house as well! It had only gone on the market earlier in the week!

Both my DCs have long weekends away on their own and the fathers cope wonderfully. Needless to say the mothers take it in their stride. When I can I give them all a break to go away as couples without DGCs and I love having them to myself.

I thoroughly appreciated 'time off' given to me by parents and especially DILs. I was a single parent for a few years, and to be honest it was for the most part easier being on my own with DCs. One couple I was friends with split up at the same time as myself and the husband would foist himself and daughter on my whenever he could during his weekends 'on'. He was hopeless and saw no reason to correct this. Thoroughly p---ed me off at times.

There is a big difference between offering to help family and friends when one half of the partnership goes away and being expected to rally round, if one of them goes away to pursue a leisure interest or their social life.

One is about friendship and family relations, the other is an imposition, which leaves the one imposed on with no choice inthe matter.

Often my ex husband was away from home with work and no one came to help me with my children. I did once leave to go to a B&B, after a row, but returned after a couple of hours as I couldn't leave them overnight without me.

I got my first break away on my own when mine were 26 and 16 years old! I have just booked my first spa break weekend away in a few weeks while my DS has a final get together with his college mates before they all go their separate ways.

In saying that, my ED, up to the time that I last saw her, had never left her children for any pleasure activity, work yes, but not holidays etc, not even a night out together with her partner. I think that this is wrong. I do think that you should put your relationship first at times and make time for each other or even yourself. I know I would have loved it if I'd have been assured that the children were properly looked after at home. As it were, if I just went out for a while, I came back and my ex hadn't even given my daughter a drink most times. So I never felt able to leave them with him for long at all.

My DS was in the habit of taking DiL away for her birthday. With a significant birthday on the horizon they went somewhere exotic. We had the DGDs as usual, and we had a lovely if busy time.
When DS and DiL came back , DS asked the girls if they would like to see their photographs.
" No thank you " said DG1 then 8yrs old , "We weren't invited so we are not interested"
Their parent have never gone away without them in the 2 years since

Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings! Nice one
When DD and SIL came back from 4 days in New York some years ago I think they were a little put out when after an initially ecstatic welcome, DGS1 (aged 3) wanted to go on watching Fireman Sam

I feel that it's another example of entitlement. They seem to want it all and think that it's their right. Don't these young people realise that their lifestyle must change when they decide to have a family.

I don't think they do flower. Grandparents or nursery have the child for the majority of the time . If they had to stay home like we did it would be eye -opening for them