husband visiting his mother

I think this is the crucial sentence in the OP
" I then made the meal and then turned on the laptop and DH said "if you are doing that I'll go and see my mother""

He doesn't like you being on the laptop! It's nothing to do with his mother - if she wasn't there, he'd find something else to do while you were on it, like going to the pub with his mates (would you prefer that?) or going and fiddling with the car engine.

MrA hates me being on Gransnet. If he's lurking about the place, I have to be ready to quickly switch to Excel and pretend I'm doing the accounts

I am in a completely opposite situation. My husband hasn't seen his mother since she was in hospital about 4 years ago, and that was only because the hospital specifically asked him to go in. Before that he used to see her once a year when she came for Christmas day. I don't think they've had any sort of relationship since he was born and as he is an only child I do all the visiting. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't act as if I enjoyed going to see her and it was a nice afternoon out for me. I try to be pleasant to her because it's the way I was brought up, but I do feel that she's his mother and he could have made a bit more effort.

It always seems such a shame when these situation arise, because all it does is cause trouble and resentment between husband and wife, and mother gets off scot free! Mr H adored his mum, visited her often, and with his sister, looked after her at home in her last illness. If I'm completely honest, there were times when I felt a twinge of resentment, but I knew he was going to do it whether I approved or not. It made for a much happier household for me to accept the inevitable and support him. He really wanted to do it, mind you - no coercion there! Good luck, Glutenfreegran

Reading your troubles and the comments rings bells of my relationship with my MIL over the years.

My husband for many years and still does to some extent see his own family thru rose coloured glasses but finds many faults with mine.
His mother died this year and it is only in the last couple of years that he did see her for what she was, a very unkind and nasty person at times who said things that were totally thoughtless.

Part of the issue seems to be the fact that it has become the routine. If I were you I would be pro-active and suggests he brings MiL to you one day. Then another time suggest going somewhere for an afternoon tea or a drive etc. and take her somewhere local to where she lives. Other times plan things just for you two! Watch a DVD together! other posters have suggested good ideas for this.

I would keep laptops off when in the room together unless you are both using them. Check ,and say at lunch for example, that you want to catch up with things online and when is he doing some work so you can use your lap top at the same time? That might mae him realise that he does exactly the same as you !

It is very easy to fall into a routine and that can dull life ..well it does for me!

What is wrong with a son going to visit his widowed mother, who loves alone, once a week?

Nothing at all Aka except current arrangements seem to be upsetting his wife and family life at home.

Other posters have been suggesting how to get both visiting mum and sharing positive couple time mutually acceptable!

Could be a lot worse - he could be going down the pub, to the football/cticket/rugby/racing (delete which ever does not apply).
P.S. Aka how do we know she "loves" alone - eh? But as you say there's not a lot wrong with it sometimes I would love DH to go off on his own and let me have the place to myself. I am afraid what I am reading between the lines is that the OP does not like her MIL very much, each resents the other and the DH is stuck in the middle! Given a choice between watching Casualty or playing second fiddle to a laptop and visiting his Mum- can't blame him. If this is a routine he is stuck in then as somebody else suggested - have the grilfriends round, go to the cinema with them , have a girls' night out at the pub or go for dinner.

Enjoyed that post, gm . Make the most of it, gluten. I would. Or join in.

I too have been suggesting other ways round this Penstemmon if you read back.
I agree with you Grace that it sounds as if the OP has a problem with this because she does not like her MiL, in which case any suggestions will be met with a 'Yes, but....' response. And I also agree with your second long about OP being stuck into Casualty or her laptop. If Saturday is so precious to her then she needs to unplug herself from both bad get out and do something, or I honestly can't blame DH for taking himself off and preferring the company of someone less boring. glut just be grateful it's his mum he's fled to.

Second long??? Second point

Too many typos to correct....I'm sure you get my drift!