cut out of thier lives 2

Goose we don't mind 'pour' away it helps. Loving sometimes has a terrible price .. Loss and pain. I hope some of us can give you comfort or better still advice.

I haven't been on GN for a while and am particularly interested to see how those of us on here who have, for whatever reason, been deserted by our children, are faring.
Another Christmas brings for me the horror of spending the family festival alone again. My three daughters are slowly coming round to communicating via email again, but will not meet me over Christmas.
This is feeling unbearable - I hope you don't mind me pouring my heart out on here.

Smiless not organised at all ! I had jar mincemeat in cupboard unused from last year so wanted keep busy while Gra at work.

Yeah I used have strange dreams bout my daughter and were sad not had one lately. Think good if you dream about upsetting things they say keeps our sanity!

So hard not to let things affect relationship we have had good week then wham oh agreeing work tomorrow and tues why do I worry up to him?

With only having one car between us means taking him and collecting again was meeting daughters godmother tomorrow never mind just go bit later.

We off out now still feel shook up from awful night and tum upset going cook easy roast now but atmosphere bit frosty were havinig Chinese and Asti our favourite but with not feeling good and row oh dear. Life never easy.

Sorry you had a bad night Celebgran . Aren't you organised making mince pies already. I had intended to write my Christmas cards before coming away but just couldn't get my self in the right frame of mind. So much to do when I get back, and so little time. Not dreading this Christmas as much as last years, but not exactly looking forward to it as we wont even have our lovely S with us; Aus. is such a long way away.

Got up at 7.00am so we could skype him. They are 13 hours ahead of us when we're here, it's an 8 hour difference when we are at home. Great to see him and have a chat. He didn't mention his bro. Hubby is constantly worrying about what he may or may not be thinking about the sit. Drives me mad some times. It doesn't make any diff. really does it? It wont change anything. They caused some trouble between us but ultimately failed to destroy our rel. so that's all that matters to me. At least we still have one S and his lovely wife.

Had email from my bro. who keeps seeing awful d.i.l. going past his and mum's house, taking gs to the child minder or next door to their friends. I've only been there once when she did that. I opened the front door and called out "hello ..... hello darling" and waved. You should have seen her face!! I've suggested bro do the same thing every time she walks past but he doesn't. Wish he would; that would wipe the smugness off her face.

Oh boy Yogagirl fancy giving birth with no one to help you . Lovely S's birth was horrendous. Went on for hours, face presentation and forceps delivery. Came out looking like ET!! all 8lb 7oz. Awful S no problem but has certainly made up for it over the last 20 months. Shame we can't send the dud ones back isn't it.

I'm sleeping well out here but having really weird dreams and my awful S makes an appearance one way or another in all of them. Hardly ever dream about him at home may be I allow my self on some level to dream about him over here bec. I feel a lot less stressed being so far away from all the crap.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend every one.

Morning sadly had bad night!

Don't know if did too many chores! Or ate too much or stress! Woke up in panic and keep feeling hot, don't think my cold as felt so much better yesterday, is 11 30 and only just come down in d gown! Oh bless went and got me cup of tea about 6 definitely got bit tum trouble.

I know doctor said he referred me day computers were down not sure wether try get another appt.

Our friends picked us up I was not ready! Oh annoyed me as agreed to work Monday as well as Tuesday for other pharmacist then he can have mon and tues Xmas week off. He does forget he is 68 and the other stupid thing is he agrees to be on duty all day. I must accept is up to him but do worry.

Bet your husband was chuffed smiless!

Oh I bought some jus rol pastry worked wonderfully made mince pies and home made quiche.

Yogagirl haircut sounds posh!
Have good Sunday if you can. Oh dear the birth sounds horrendous, I remember having my daughter very clearly she was 7lb 3oz dainty little girl was induced and midwife was lovely, oh was at home with our son. Remember midwife saying you have got Victoria never dreamt the pain and heartaches she would cause me!
How barbaric for you yogagirl! I would have screamed.

Glad you had a good night out Yogagirl; hope it helped give you a better night's sleep. Good idea about a key board for the tablet, but it's hubbies and bless him I think he quite likes it that he has it all to himself.

Went shopping to a local super market yesterday and the 2 young American ladies who served us (it's great here, there's always someone to pack for you) remarked on the dinky little cart (they don't call them trolleys) we'd used. They said they are usually for the liquor store. Hubby, always on the look out for a compliment said it was a special one for old people. Of course they said "but you're not old" . Now admittedly he doesn't look his age and I think is still rather handsome - but really.

He came back from a little solitary shopping trip here last year, head twice the size, and told me that a lady at the check out thought he looked like Sylvester Stalone!!! (because of the cap and sun glasses) still not sure whether to believe him or not. Did ask him if her guide dog was sat next to her at the till though.

Hope your cold is better Celebgran and you managed to get your chores done.

Have a good night all of you

Hello Girls
Thanks for the info Elegran I'll go and get my tablet out of the bin
Get a keypad for your tablet Smileless, If I didn't have one, I wouldn't be able to type with long nails, I've also got a 'pointer' and one for my mobile too, there great! Hope your sickness has waned after your Italian meal.
You're lucky to have a lovely husband by your side, to share this terrible time with.
Thank you Celebgran hope your colds better. I did have a lovely pamper session at the hairdressers, I was lucky enough to get the owner of the chain of salons! He cuts hair really well, as that's all he does(cut). My hairs a bit fluffy, but lovely cut. Yes, and I had a really good night out too, quite tired today though, as I had an early start this morning.
Well the biggest news is that it is my D 24th B/day today, wonder if she is having a party! I always thought we had a special bond. I gave birth to her in The Netherlands, I delivered her myself, totally alone, unless you count my husband jumping up and down in the door way , the midwife arrived half hour after the birth! She sawed me up without any anaesthetic, boy did that hurt

You're right Celebgran it does make you feel down when people ask after your family when they don't know the situation. To begin with I used to be vague as I was embarrassed and ashamed but now I'm just honest.

We always get the same reaction, a look of and then the same things are said "how awful" and "but you were so close, I bet it's her isn't it? who did he marry?" In a way peoples obvious surprise is kind of comforting. I sometimes feel alone with it, but not so much these days and that is almost entirely due to this forum. Being helped by all of you and I hope being able to help and support you when any of you are having a bad day.

Of course this part of Florida with the theme parks and all that Disney has to offer is a magnet for families. We found it almost unbearable when we were here in April, especially seeing gparents with their gc, but it isn't quite so bad this time around. Although it's very hard seeing children who are a sim. age to our gs we are still managing to enjoy ourselves.

Our tragedy has strengthened our marriage even further which is such a blessing. I have so much to be thankful for, I guess you just can't have it all can you. But oh dear, I wish we could; only 20 months ago I thought we had

Oh hell yogagirl I just feel sick for you. That is so like. MY daughter was In fact we were not allowed mobile but old one of her husbands so he could monitor the texts!

I am so sorry you going through this no body deserves it let alone loving mum and gran .

Smiless oh yes car dirty again! Not so bad! Oh and me had good week after horrid fall out at start, we went line dancing this morning, slept most afternoon trying shake cold off!

Feel lazy lot chores to do oh work Tom get on then time for me!
Sorry Italian upset you.

Tutor who takes line dancing we know from way back when kids at primary and she asked after our daughter is always hard, she did not know.
Then blow me went coop and girl on check outm(used work with her mum)asked if I have any grand kids does make you feel low and kinda different!

Yogagirl hope hairdo helped and gig was great. So very sorry that your so is so lacking in understanding. Try keep smiling we all here for you. Hugs x

Me again. Was just about to log off when I heard a little noise and wondered if another posting had appeared and there you were dear Yogagirl. When did having your heart broken and fighting firstly for your D and then your gc become despicable secrets?

I am and at his complete lack of empathy and very that he can end such a cruel message by referring to him self as your loving son!! For some, our willingness to be open and honest about our situations is and also at times . But we can be open and honest as we have nothing to be ashamed of, we have done nothing wrong. And that includes you Yogagirl YOU have done nothing wrong and have nothing to be ashamed of. I am so sorry that your S is unable to deal with the truth in this matter

Morning ladies; wheels going round! copying; pasting, closing, re-starting and re-sending this is all a foreign language to me. My answer to technical comp. problems is to log off, (ooh I've just used computer speak - I think), switch off and start all over again. I wish I could do that with my nasty S . Would have to have a serious think before starting all over again though.

I can't use a tablet, unless I have a proper key board I can't manage. It may be a combination of cold hands (warm heart as the saying goes) and long nails but they just don't respond to me - another technical link to my nasty S who doesn't respond any more to me either

Didn't need the ice cube again this morning Yogagirl, but we've got plenty just in case any are needed. Can you believe that it actually had the audacity to rain here form mid day for the rest of the day and in to the evening . We couldn't have our BBQ so went out for an Italian. We've eaten their loads of times but when we got back I was ill. May be a coincidence as it's never happened before but it does put you off going back doesn't it.

Any luck with the email to your S Yogagirl ? I hope that between you and your D you manage to talk some sense in to him. Did you enjoy your 'gig'? what was it exactly? Hope the pampering session at the hair dressers made you feel good; that can as just as beneficial as counselling.

I'm pleased you had a nice time with your friends 'Celebgran', hope you haven't got that nice clean car all dirty again.

Have a good day every one. and some Florida for you all.

Below is an email I have just opened from my S, and my f/wardg email to my ND, p.sis.i.l and sister. I am ashamed to share it and my ND keeps telling me not to do this but, as you can see its unbelievable, I did not send the email with quotes, that I said on here I would, I got this first.
To Me
Nov 21 at 3:07 PM
You profile is PUBLIC. You have to change the privacy settings if you don't won't the whole world to find out your despicable secrets. And please do because I have had enough of your hateful attitude. I am deeply saddened that you have caused so much suffering. I do not wish to give you any more opportunities to harm me. I will henceforth delete all messages from you without reading them to shield myself from your malevolence.

I wish you all the best, and I truly hope that one day you will realise the errors of your ways. From this day on you will no longer be a part of my life.

Your Loving Son, Glenn

Today at 12:36 PM

Another disturbing email from Glenn
I have done and said nothing to warrant this attack, aside from helping Jenni when the attack was on her, at the very beginning. I am soooo sad, why are Glenn and Jenni being brain-washed by Jason to this extent of hating me so! It's beyond my comprehension, If the family had joined together at the very start of all this, it could have been nipped in the bud, instead everyone has just sat back and watched!(apart from my lovely Sarah). If my dad had been here, he would, without doubt, have stepped in to help and would have told Jason that what he is doing is wrong and unjust! But because Jason has been left to run riot, he's taken it to the furthest degree! They are kids and needed/need to be stopped. I am reading 'Daniella Westbrooke's' book at the mo. and she has said that when she was on cocaine, she was really horrid to her mum and did and said terrible things, so is this what the problem is - drugs? She also cut herself off from her family.

Don't blame the tablet, it is happening all the time at the moment. I have learned to copy my message if it sticks, but not paste it back in and resend it until I have checked on the thread.

Sorry you got that post twice. It did that horrid thing, where its stuck and the wheel just keeps going round, so you have to (hopefully) copy, paste and close, re-start to re-send, I was going for a third time, when I saw the two posts had gone through I'm just going to chuck my new tablet in the bin

Sorry you got that post twice. It did that horrid thing, where its stuck and the wheel just keeps going round, so you have to (hopefully) copy, paste and close, re-start to re-send, I was going for a third time, when I saw the two posts had gone through

Morning Girls
What a waste of an ice-cube Smileless lol, get one ready for tomorrow!. I love your quotes, I've written them down and the one from D.R. I'll put them in the email i'm going to write to my Son after this. I'm also going to ask him, in his wisdom; " What did s.i.l say I had done that was so heinous, I had to be 'cut out of their lives' I've never been told" I do envy you Smileless out there In Florida, I have been and it's lovely
Thank you for your advice Celebgran and I will take it. My ND email S and said "mum doesn't know how social networking works, I've told her she mustn't put stuff like that on there!" so we are trying to sort it. ND & I think that a combination of 'spliff' and talking to s.i.l results in S sending nasty emails, my ND has had the same, so she wont reply to S when this is the case. So glad you had an enjoyable lunch with your friends Celebgran this situation we are in certainly changes you. My ND & my p.sis.i.l both want me to go to councilling! but I've said I will not feel better untill I'm reunited with my D & GC, and this whole faughed is over, (which wont be till D & s.i.l have split up!)
Hope you both have a nice day I'm off to be pampered at the hairdressers this afternoon, and then out with friends to a local 'gig'

Morning Girls
What a waste of an ice-cube Smileless lol, get one ready for tomorrow!. I love your quotes, I've written them down and the one from D.R. I'll put them in the email i'm going to write to my Son after this. I'm also going to ask him, in his wisdom; " What did s.i.l say I had done that was so heinous, I had to be 'cut out of their lives' I've never been told" I do envy you Smileless out there In Florida, I have been and it's lovely
Thank you for your advice Celebgran and I will take it. My ND email S and said "mum doesn't know how social networking works, I've told her she mustn't put stuff like that on there!" so we are trying to sort it. ND & I think that a combination of 'spliff' and talking to s.i.l results in S sending nasty emails, my ND has had the same, so she wont reply to S when this is the case. So glad you had an enjoyable lunch with your friends Celebgran this situation we are in certainly changes you. My ND & my p.sis.i.l both want me to go to councilling! but I've said I will not feel better untill I'm reunited with my D & GC, and this whole faughed is over, (which wont be till D & s.i.l have split up!)
Hope you both have a nice day I'm off to be pampered at the hairdressers this afternoon, and then out with friends to a local 'gig'

It's just gone 7.30am here. I love the mornings as it's so quiet and peaceful; hubby is still asleep I'll wake him up with an ice cube if he hasn't surfaced by 8 as we have a friend popping in at 9.

So you had an unguarded moment on FB Yogagirl, is your S's pool of forgiveness so shallow that that is all it takes for him to be unable to forgive? and forgive you for what? Supporting your D and fighting for your gc?

Before my lovely S went away he asked me what I had done wrong; I told him nothing and that at least 4 people knew this to be true; me, my hubby, my nasty S and God. I also told him that he was picking out gnats and swallowing camels! and to be careful that he didn't choke. Thank goodness you have a lovely D you can rely on, friends that really care and your gransnet buddies. for you

Pleased you had a nice lunch Celebgran, we had a lovely Asian meal last night and my fortune cookie had this inside You are a person of strong sense of duty . Ironic isn't it that a cookie knows me better than my own S! Hubby said I'd picked up his cookie by mistake - I think not. He's awake now so I'll have to save the ice cube for another day.

Oh remember now smiless how wonderful enjoy every minute.
It rained most day here but we had wonderful time with our friends lifted our spirits..

Enjoy you deserve it!

I know being far away helps me sometimes it's great to focus on just relaxing and having fun enjoy!

That's awful yogagirl surely your so. Knows how badly you been treated?

I am so sorry you really don't need this, can't you speak to your son he must know then awful trauma this s I law has put you through. What on earth is there to forgive you for ?

If in doubt try keep peace if you possibly can.

Thank you we had lovely lovely time stayed til 6pm neibor had Rosie for us, Val got us delicious lunch and we both felt so relaxed! I get bit nervous before going out now a example of damage my daughter rejection of me I think.

Please keep strong and don't say anything you will regret.

Me again
I have just had the most horrendous email from my Son!
I ph my ND and we had already both said 'I wonder how s.i.l will take it, that my S has made up with me and is spending Xmas here'. So we have both agreed that my S has now spoken to my s.i.l resulting in him being pelted with hate propaganda against me, resulting in this most disturbing email.
My S has said that he has looked on my FB page, which is closed to just my friends and family only and my S never goes on FB anyway, so never thought he would see my comments, I don't go on much and usually just browse and make the occasional comments. Anyway, last week when it was the one year ann. of my being 'cut out of their lives', a friend of mine came all the way to my work and waited in the car park to give me some flowers, as she had remembered the date! she also did this on the first day I came out of court, so sweet. Anyway she had to dash as it was actually her 11th wedding ann. and she was going out for a meal to celebrate, lovely. When I got home I quickly went on FB, so that I could thank her for the flowers, as I know she's always on there. I did a comment box first saying 'Happy Ann' enjoy your evening....., then in a separate box I put 'Thank you for the flowers for my not so nice ann. of being one year cut out of my precious GC+D lives by nasty S.I.l' I did put his full name on purpose, but then it is a closed account.
So my S said that because of this 'slander' on s.i.l, he cannot keep his word on his forgiveness of me! telling me to repent my sins, and on and on!! So I let him have it, and said "So be it, I have done nothing wrong, this has all come from s.i.l........., and you should also apologize to me for saying I was viceful for loving Laila more than Jack, which is untrue....." that last bit coming from s.i.l has Jack is his S and Laila isn't his D, so paranoia from s.i.l again. Well you all know the story.
again!

Hello Girls
Between work, so back on here again
"Immoral champaign" is what my Son wrote, not "obnoxious ordeal" I couldn't remember off hand this morning, but similar meaning.
Thanks for your concern about me Smileless, it feels nice to think that someone is being thoughtful towards me, all this year I feel like I have been 'witch hunted' by everyone (in my family), apart from my ND. It is getting up my nose a bit, how I am apologizing all round, when I didn't do or say anything wrong, If I hadn't helped my D it may have been her fighting in the courts to see and get custody of Laila and Jack, who knows what would have happened.
Glad your starting to enjoy your hols, it does make you feel better when you're away from home, I felt like that too. Also, you saying about them growing up, yes they are, it's so sad to be missing the loveliest, sweetest, cutest time of our GC lives So you're enjoying the Florida , whilst we are shivering in the cold and the torrential rain
Thank you Celebgran I suppose I'm best not to mention anything to my Son re;apologies, and just leave it and move on. But being a true Narcissist, my s.i.l has made himself the victim and (the real victim) me into the perpetrator!
Enjoy your lunch with your friends Celebgran
for all

Oh what a relief to read your post this morning Yogagirl I was getting quite worried as you are normally on every day. Now I can begin my day with a . We are 5 hours behind the UK so it is only 8.00 am.

What a terrible thing for your son to say. Sounds like the type of comment we were receiving from our nice S. So I reminded him of a line Thumper in Disney's film 'Bambi' says: "If you can't say something nice then don't say nothin at all". What a pity he didn't leave court with you that day, and was also subjected to their laughter and jeers. There isn't a word to describe such appalling behavior; obnoxious doesn't come close! Comments like that make me so bec. they cause so much unnecessary pain and we've all had enough of that to last several life times.

We are in Florida Celebgran. We bought a property here 6 years ago. It is where the 4 of us stayed when our nasty S married the d.i.l. from hell and where we had hoped one day to bring our darling gs. We come twice a year and still try to imagine him splashing around in the pool! May be one day although if it ever does happen he will probably be all grown up by then.

I call it my oasis in the desert of life, and what a harsh and unforgiving desert it has been this last 18 months. It does us so much good coming here. When we are so many miles away from everything it makes it a little easier to bare, we can relax and not worry about driving past our darling gs.

The [sun] is shining here. I hope it shines on all of you for the rest of the day.

Don't keep beating herself up yogagirl this need never have happened! Don't forget the ordeal you have been through and still are.

Sorry it upset you

Most of all do to fall out with your otherness over it.

Our son seems totally on our side but he won't do a damn thing contact mollie the little one we all new, never ever sent her a card even that upset me so much. He says our daughter is despicable and we better off without her.

Sadly it does. It work that way I will always miss her and grieve for myngra daughters.

Off to nice friends for lunch today they actually want seen our hol pictures.
It was lovely film even oh enjoyed! Need tissues at ready though!

I should have said that my Son's email really, really upset me, although it started off v.pleasantly, it also said about "putting Jenni (D) and her family through an obnoxious ordeal" I just replied that I now wish I hadn't gone down the road of the courts, but at the time I was grieving the loss of my D+GC and the grieving brain does not work in normal mode.