bad language

Elegran crikey - must be a problem in Newcastle

Crikey is slang too, apparently. #doesanyonecare?

j08 . Phoenix on Pope thread and jingle on this one have made my day!

Five year old GS's favourite word at the moment is pop-off.

jingle ..."jolly woofters"...Love it!

Bags I promise not to emit a "jolly woofter" when we get together.

Farts and toilet jokes seem to what four and five yr olds love best of all.

Some kids never grow up. I keep telling Mr Bags it's possible to break wind without making a noise, but I think he quite enjoys farting . Doesn't half wrinkle his nose when DD releases a pong without the noise though .

If it makes a noise it gives others a chance to move out of range. It is the silent but deadly that you have to watch out for.

Oh yes Harrigran especially when in a shop or in a confined area, I soon hop it in case anyone around should think it was I who emitted the offending pong

harri – "silent but deadly"

Sel

Yes, there is an element of trying to get it all out of my system before I have to go.

Eh!

Way back in my youth, I was in the car, at a drive-in cinema with fiance, after a gourmet meal of beans on toast. We renamed the film as 'Fart from the Madding Crowd'. With apologies to Hardy.

Well the definition of fart in my dictionary states 'Explosion between the legs'.

What dictionary is that, POGS?

I would have added something further, but I don't want to get messenger going...

Got the Big Issue the other day, and I couldn't believe my eyes. First thought it was a joke, but no. 'Fart with confidence' said the advert for :

New pants mean you can fart with confidence

January 23 2007 at 03:11am

New York - An American underwear manufacturer has invented pants designed to hide the smell of flatulence.

The Under-Ease pants have a built-in, multi-layered replaceable filter, made of felt, charcoal and fibreglass wool.

To prevent gases escaping without passing through it, the underpants are made from air-tight fabric and completely sealed with elastic around the waistband and legs.

Under-Tec president and inventor Buck Weimer said: "Under-Ease are underwear for protection against bad human gas.

"We get a lot of jokes - but we don't doubt that this is a serious product that serves a purpose.

"They can be worn anytime, anywhere - in bed, to work, at social events, including professional meetings or when travelling in any vehicle, including an airplane."

The pants are machine-washable and the filters last several weeks to several months, depending on the frequency of use and laundering. - Ananova.com

I've seen those when I searched the net advertised granjura. They do nothing for sound though. #nationaltrusthousesecho

Petallus, who am I to doubt your word. And yet - I just have to say I cannot believe that you've never ever 'broken wind' - come on, pull the other one

I'd only been in the UK a few weeks, when I was invited to a family for Sunday lunch (my future OH's family) - after lunch, he and his brother went to help mum in the kitchen, and just wouldn't let me give a hand. There I was, stuck in the lounge with future fil and he put telly on. Ski Sunday - and he commented 'can't see any difference between them, they all seem to ski the same, and with only minute differences in timing'. Trying to make polite conversation in my very rough English, I said 'well, the equipment makes a lot of difference too, and farting also'. He looked at me with a strange look on his face, so I thought I had to explain further 'yes I said, farting is an art in skiing - the better you fart the faster you go. They take the temperature of the snow at different parts of the piste, and measure the humidity and then fart accordingly. Same as choosing tyres for Formula One racing'. So he called the sons back 'I have a bit of a language problem with your little Swiss friend' he said. So the boys asked what I said and I repeated. They laughed so much - and then explained. I've never lived it down!!! Still a family joke 43 years later.

In French 'farter' means 'to apply wax [to sole of skis], and I thought it was the same in English! There was some logic in it though ...

petallus was joking. post 10.28.13

#supposedtoreadthewholethreaddontyaknow

Love it granjura! The idea of measuring the temperature of the piste and the humidity and then "farting accordingly" - I wish I could hear that explanation on Ski Sunday!!!

Being a furiner is a mindfield - the number of ghastly mistakes I made is soo embarrassing - but somehow allowed me to 'integrate' and it certainly did 'break the ice'. I'll always remember saying to my boss a few weeks later, in front of very important customers, that I had loads of French letters to file - it got them all relaxed and the firm won the very large contract. My boss bought me a Wedgewood dinner service (I worked for an engineering firm that made machinery for the pottery industry).

How very dare you j08