Husband not welcome at family events

Ok

Do you mean your children are choosing to support your ex vs you?
Was there an ultimatum asking them to pick a side?

Why did your marriage end?

OP, not ok

Hithere, what's not ok? The AC telling the OP that her DH isn't welcome at the Christening? Or the OP's not going to events if her DH isn't welcome? Or??

Starlady,

It was an autocorrect. I meant OP, not ok

I would go to the GC's Christening alone. Don't miss the event.

I find it telling that the OP has not returned to this thread to respect and answer some of the questions posed in regard to the conditions of the break up of her previous marriage.

The above may well be playing a large role in the past and present attitudes of her sons and her former husband as old wounds often do not entirely or positively heal.

Until such information is known I cannot feel that anyone can offer realistic advice on this situation.

I’m with you Grandad1943 we’ve only got half the back story here.

I would think after 20 years of "auditioning for the approval of people who do not like him", your DH would be glad not to be invited and want you to go on your own.

I believe that we may be thinking on the "same wavelength" in this matter Urmstongran?

For you and me to agree on anything in a thread, then this has to be a triumphant first. ?

Totally agree with you grandad I’ve been looking for op to reply but as she hasnt I’m unable to give my view.

Great intuition, reading between the lines Grandad 1943.

I agree grandad1943

I have no idea what may have happened between your son's, their father and your present husband. It is very sad and I'm sorry your loyalties have been torn this way. However I would have still gone to my sons wedding without my husband and would also go to the christening alone. You say your husband is frail If that means he can not be left alone that makes it more difficult but I would have suggested respite care or asked a relative to stay with him for a while

Your husband is frail so I’d go alone - life is too short to miss out on these events. To reconnect with your family at a baby’s christening would be wonderful.
As previously stated none of us know the history between your ex and now husband. Build some bridges here don’t leave yourself with no options for the future. As for not going to a sons wedding ? After that I’d be delighted that I had been invited to the christening. Break it all down and just go! Enjoy and be happy that you have a GC

My lot never met again after the acrimonious divorce. Neither came to anything, We invited them all, and left the choice up to them, so no one came.
They were not going to put anything before their own feelings. They were a amazingly selfish bunch.
We have one left now at 94, still angry and bitter.

Just find out how your current husband feels about you going on your own. He may not mind as much as you fear. Or you may have asked him much earlier on in your relationship when he didn't feel as secure with you and he didn't want you to go without him at that time, but maybe 20 happy years later he'd say "yeah you go and have a nice time, I'll stay here and watch (whatever TV program you can't stand when you're together)"

I agree with GagaJo .... I could never miss my children’s weddings for anyone! As others have said, everyone is welcome in a church so there’s nothing stopping you attending ... enjoy being present at your GC’s very special event. The service is the Important part, not the party afterwards. All the best

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Is the Christening/Baptism of your grandchild taking place in church?
As a public event in a public place, I thought anyone could attend.
This could be a compromise , maybe.

Your ex hub sounds a controlling bully. No wonder you divorced him. Can’t you both go along and just ignore him, completely blank him. It sounds to me he is still telling you what you can or cannot do. What a horrible man. I know what I would do.

Perhaps your sons need to be told to grow up! Second (and more) marriages are more than common these days. Have you asked If they have thought how they might feel if (hope it doesn’t happen) they divorced and remarried but you wouldn’t accept their new spouse to any event?

I'd go on my own. I'd also have gone to the weddings as well. I don't think we need to be so glued to a partner than we can't go to events separately. Having said that, your ex is being horribly and ludicrously controlling. I wonder if he also pulls the age card... "I'm 94.." etc to get his own way. Good luck - but do go and enjoy the Christening.

If your husband is frail, then his health can always be the "excuse" if needed for him not attending the Christening, rather than your ex's demands? Does your husband want to go or is this about your wanting him to be there so you don't have to go alone? If so, is there anyone-else who could go with you - if you want moral support - such as a good friend? Otherwise, yes, send a present and wish them well on the day. I'm afraid that without giving us the background to the split, and why it's so acrimonious, it's very difficult to give you relevant advice.

I agree with Granddad about our not knowing the whole story. However it may be helpful to Carolyn to shed the notion that spouses have to do everything together.

We dont know enough background here but frankly, if it was go on your own or not at all, you should have been at the weddings. Perhaps you were not invited?

Assuming you were invited on your own your DH should have made you go. The christening is neither here nor there in context of marriage.

My half sister couldnt attend my other half sister's as she wouldn't go on her own. (She ran away n married alcoholic bf who could have caused a big scene at wedding. My dad had already thrown him out, hence the running away and likely scene.)

I've thought about this issue and really its all very sad.