Advice over grandsons and the battle of the chair!

I wonder how you resolved this Summermary
It could be very useful for peace keeping skills in future.
I think I'd have allowed newly returned big brother to have as much time on the chair as he wanted but appeal to him to let little bro have a turn. Then distract little bro.
My youngest son found favourite toys train set while big bro was at school and was very rough with them.
I've never lived it down!

In our house we´ve always had the "absent bottom" rule. As soon as you´ve lifted your bottom off your favourite chair, it´s fair game for anyone else to sit there. Until they need to go to the loo, or whatever.

Summermary My two year old granddaughter understood the rules when I had her and her five year old sister taking timed turns with a favoured toy. I incorporated the timing into a game.
if the armchair is huge, then why can't they both sit on it together?

The rule here is that if two kids squabble over something then neither can have it. It works!

All I can say is 'Lego'. My 2 DGDs have a big box of lego which they tip all over the floor and every time they play with it there is a massive argument over the pieces, with the older one (10) snatching the piece and the younger one (7)
wailing loudly. Many attempts at mediation have failed and the final straw is Gran banning it all together and putting all the pieces away, which is a mammoth task in itself. They then move on to fight over something else and I end up standing on a piece I have missed with my bare feet and suffering unbearable pain.

Summermary To some questions there are no answers!

From my granddaughter age 4 the question of the day is.. ",nana why are our teeth all wet?", Hmmmm

This is what most children do.

Look a bit tubby/shoot up look skinny/look tubby/shoot up look skinny until they stop growing up.

Tiger tooth we ve all put on a couple of lbs
Honestly a couple of lbs does not make you look tubby half a stone would show

This really is a storm in a teacup or a hurricane in a chair
Send the kids outside to play, run the tubbiness off
How do you solve other problems between the boys ?
What does the daughter have to say?

Every time the older boy comes back he will have to adjust and renew his status in the house and his chair is important to him The younger boy has been cock of the hoop whilst he was away so he too has to adjust to being the little underling again
Give it time but more importantly get them outside in this lovely weather and forget the chair

We were bought some coasters from NZ in the shape of different animals and everyone wanted a particular animal which caused arguments! We soon explained things are not worth arguing about and took it away! Problem solved. Not so easy with a chair. Lots of helpful posts here-just do something and tackle the problem with love. You’re the grown up around here!

Timer for the chair

Poor child being critised for eating the food put in front of him and committing the sin of getting tubby

My Mum would take things away if we fought over them. Her attitude was that things were supposed to make you happy and if they didn't, they weren't worth having. I would definitely suggest that they had turns but make it clear that if they fight over it, you will sit in the chair and they won't. Presumably the 2 year old would be in bed earlier than the 9 year old so he can have the additional time to take into account his mature years.

Wildswan has it figure out.

Add to it a 2 year old who enjoyed sitting in the “big boy” chair while his brother was gone and the fact that he’s, you know... 2. And 2 year old don’t understand reason.

2 year olds do respond well to distraction and deflection. Wave something shiny in his direction

This really isn't about a chair. It is about a nine year old who spends time in two different homes, while his little brother is at home with mum etc all to himself. He is/may feel angry, upset, pushed out, confused etc. He is having to make sure his home belongs to him again.

Roll up a small blanket or cushion to divide the chair in two. If they still argue then don’t let either of them sit on it. Sharing is a really difficult lesson to learn so the younger they are when this is implemented the better.

Is there really no room for a chair for the little one too?

Obviously, he wants to do the same as his big brother, and the big boy wants to retain the chair he "always" has had, and it will not seem fair to him to be made to share it. IMO it is not fair when an elder child is made to share with a younger.

I would simply move the chair away for a while if the little boy can't have his own.

My children used to squabble over a red stool at their grandparents' kitchen so much that the only way to resolve it was for me to sit on it. and it was most uncomfortable.
Then we all had to take turns.

Rearrange the room. Move GS9 chair elsewhere. Get GS2 a chair by the window. But sell change chairs. It also teach the boys that things can be solved and resolved with creative thinking but not if everyone insists on no change.

BlueBelle

*Get two chairs
Does a child get tubby in a week?
If your daughter lives with you it’s her problem to solve not yourself*
Two chairs might not fit
Yes a child CAN get tubby in a week - we’ve just had a week in Italy and we’ve all put on a couple of lbs but I can actually see it most in my 9 yr old.
They live together and presumably eat together so of course Grandma takes an active interest -
I would distract the little one and occasionally ask 9yr old to hold his brother on the window chair to keep him safe - give him a bit of responsibility.
If 2yr old whacks his brother for being in the way, he should be immediately gently reprimanded, removed and distracted.
This stage won’t last for long??

Sorry, fat finger!

Gabriella whatcyou are failing to understand us that this is of vital importance, deep significance and its relevance to the wider world.

What hope for the world if two brothers can squabble over territory like this? It is Cain and Abel, Romulus and Remus all over again.

Whatever.

Good gawd...is this really the level we're at, bargaing with two kids as to who has a particular chair...?
Unbelievable!!

Why not just send them out into the garden to play rather than have to look at it from inside the house!

an egg time with sand running though it might be better for the 2 year old

Say no to both....tell them it is your chair.

Is it raining tbere?

I can't understand why a 9 year old would want to sit for any length of time and look at a garden.
My DGC have been out in the garden today (it was drizzling a bit but that didn't put them off).
Then it did rain harder so they came in, they did gymnastics around the sitting room and played hide and seek. Then the younger one remembered she'd left her shoes out in the rain