Asking for too much?

Dd and sil are probably just very tired and need a break themselves. However, still, as pps have said, they have no right to expect this of you, no right to expect childminding of you at all. Kind of you to even try, it proved too difficult, you can't do it anymore, end of story.

It caught my attention, however, that dd accuses you of "always changing your mind." Is it possible you agreed wholeheartedly to this idea at first and then reneged after that exhausting weekend? I don't blame you for changing your mind after that, but it would have been better to have said, "I'll try it and see how it goes."

But oh well. Unless you signed a contract, lol, you are under no obligation to do this. Dd and family are lucky that you've done as much as you have. True, they may get mad and keep dgd from staying with you, but is that worse than having to endure more exhausting weekends? You may have to be willing to trade off what you enjoy to avoid what you don't enjoy. Hope it all gets sorted out in the end.

I told my DD, who has three young daughters, about this thread and she couldn't believe that someone could even think about asking a grandparent to look after five GC for a whole weekend every month.
I looked after my three DGD's, aged 7,5 and 1 from midday on Saturday till midday Sunday and I was exhausted. My DD has said she wouldn't ask me to look after all three of them again.

I'm a parent of 2 young children.

I think it's a disgustingly entitled thing to do to ask anyone to have their 5 children once a month so they can 'have a break'. None of my friends or peers would ever ask their parents to look after their children overnight except as a one-off i.e. a special anniversary, or in an emergency. The bullying tactics to pressure the OP to change her mind are particularly grim.

I would just say that I don't think this has anything to do with 'a generational thing'. Yes, it might be more acceptable these days to have a bit of 'me time', but not to this extent. Just plain selfish.

And another thought. Don't leave the parents on their own for too long, perhaps child 6 will appear!

I would not have 5grandchildren every month .It was a hard enough to get my husbands parents to babysit for a few hours when they were older .

Good grief, they are really trying (to take the p#"s) to take advantage of a good grandparent. A one off is one thing but every month - their parenting skills are leaving a lot to be desired in my eyes. What a cheek.

But think of that feeling as you reach for the when you close the door after waving them all goodbye.

There's nothing like it!

Just what everybody else has said. I had grandson 2 nearly 3 from lunch time to 6ish yesterday and a lot of crawling about on the floor playing with dinosaurs, duplo and cars doesn't come as easy now as it did 30 years ago. It's one thing having an older grandchild to stay who doesn't need hands on attention, but 5 with an age range of toddler to early teens is too much even for an overnighter. I note that you are the only grandparent around, that's all the more reason they should value more than they do and it's certainly very good of you to step in with step grandchildren who are having problems with their mother, but perhaps that should be their father's job, they are his children after all. I can imagine a blended family with 5 children doesn't leave a lot of "me" time but your daughter and son-in-law made an informed choice on that one, you didn't. I don't really get the swanning off once month for a week-end, we did that perhaps half a dozen times with the help of grown up half siblings between the times of early childhood and late teens.

The mind boggles at what they expect of you, completely unreasonable and selfish.

Poor you! Stick to your guns, that's unfair treatment and emotional blackmail!
Honestly kids expect too much from their parents these days, and forget we are 'getting on', and seem to be quite selfish.
Hopefully she may rethink once she realises she isn't getting away for her breaks.
She needs a reality check!

I'm knackered looking after one, much as I adore her, I couldn't cope with 5 and would say so.

It's the sheer number isn't it? Coping with 5 is a lot to ask, but then the 13 year old ought to be a big help.

I'd suggest that you might offer to have them all just a couple of nights over the year. That's more than enough, not a whole weekend though. I do have all four of my grandchildren stay over together a couple of times a year so my daughter and SiL and my son and DiL can go out for a meal all together. The bond between my DD and DDiL is a bit rivalry so I do this to encourage them to get on a bit better.

I agree with all the others who've said it's a ridiculous request. In emergencies one would do anything possible, but anyone who needs a weekend off from their kids every month needs to rethink how they are doing stuff.

They sound like 'chancers' to me. Say no and stick to it. Good luck.

Once a month! And calls you unreasonable! I never had any parents or in-laws to help. Just me and their dad trudging through it. She and partner need a wake-up call into how selfish they are. Quite shocked actually.

Tell her your feelings on the matter and she'll find another babysitter for their get away needs.

A break one weekend a month!! most parents make do with one night out a month! Yes they are being unreasonable, 5 is a lot to cope with!

I had five children under nine. There is no way my parents could have looked after them for the weekend! It was very demanding but a lot of fun too.

Totally unreasonable! Im also saying what a cheek!

Say no firmly and stick to it. My DD is going away for a long weekend and my partner and I are sharing the childcare of my twin grandchildren with the other set of grandparents. 2 days each, it works well for us having done it previously. as we are retired we do schooldays and they do weekend as one of them still works.

What a bloody cheek!

I married at 16 and had my first at 17, I remember being over tired and needing a break. No Sloane Ranger years. I have dds, they're worn at home all day. They, too, are not having fun. I love to provide and as a pp said I dislike being at odds.

That is just downright bullying by your daughter. You should not he made to feel guilty about the fact you don't want to do it, Grandparenting should be a pleasure not a duty. I hope you all find an amicable solution because despite the unreasonable demands it very upsetting being at odds with your children. Good luck.

You cannot look after 5 children single handed for a weekend.

I think if they want a weekend off on a regular basis they need to work out a plan that splits the kids up. You might for example take the 13 year old and the 15 month old if they get on together and the 13 year old enjoys 'looking after' her sibling. They then need to make other arrangements for the remaining 3.

We never had a break at all....full stop, as nobody to help out apart from a baby sitting circle ( we had a night out for a meal or cinema trip now and then.)Somehow we managed to bring up three children though and lived to tell the tale!

Yes definitely asking too much!! especially on your own , agree with others & we are alot older than our own parents were.seems like a lot of our kids have quiet a shock at the change in life style when they have children in their late 30s & expect a little too much from their pension aged parents.

When most of us were mums of under-16s we just got on with it - some of us working full-time as well! Didn't feel entitled to a 'break' every month either