Mother/daughter fall out

Difficult to know how to help. Can you think of any reason why your Daughter's attitude towards you has changed or why her Husband says you make her feel sad? It does seem very strange if there has been no fall out or arguments. How do you feel is the best way to try and take this forward?

Have you been too pushy?

3 times a week seems like a lot to me.

Well, unless everyone is 100% with that happening. As some families are.

Maybe she just needs a break and some space.

I think I’d be inclined to be a little worried about coercive control from her husband.

Or that your daughter is becoming depressed or anxious.

Saying, in a text, from her husband, “that you make her sad” makes no sense to me.

Why is he sending you a text?

Is there a way you can discretely contact her and arrange to meet in a neutral setting and over a cuppa ask her very gently why this has happened?

How old are said GC?

Would it be possible to see them in your home?

Please can you tell us a little more?

Is she your only child?

Btw Fancythat when my DM was widowed I visited her at least three times a week and our adult children did as well. When both my parents were alive and healthy and our children were little I’d take them round to visit frequently, it’s not at all unusual, especially if they live very close, my parents only lived 6 roads away from us.

Cossy just because something worked for you doesn't mean it works for everyone.

There are people who really would find having their mother/MiL visiting three times a week too much, even if they lived next door. so I do think this is a possibility and should be considered.

Not living near any where near my grandchildren I would have loved to see them once a month. My son and wife did all they could to visit and we visited them, buy not monthly.

Once a month is fine, I don't know but were you an influence on the children and mum wants to bring her kids up in a different way? I myself at times do something that my daughter doesn't approve of, like buying sweets or ice-cream not knowing she's cut them down to sweets once a week, I go with the flow its her way that should stand, or is she tied to staying in with you when she wanted to go meet friends or do things a younger person wants to do with her time, really you have not been cut out ,maybe find time to meet up with friends instead

I should add my kids come to me I rarely visit them, it works for us as when they have given time to visit they really want to see me, today 2 daughters turned up morning then evening, I see one maybe once a month she hasn't kids but works and has a busy social life, and the same with the rest of them.

Perhaps three visits a week was too much for her and once a month is acceptable to their family way of life. I'd say nothing, wait seeing what happens.

M0nica

Cossy just because something worked for you doesn't mean it works for everyone.

There are people who really would find having their mother/MiL visiting three times a week too much, even if they lived next door. so I do think this is a possibility and should be considered.

Not living near any where near my grandchildren I would have loved to see them once a month. My son and wife did all they could to visit and we visited them, buy not monthly.

I’m not suggesting it does work for all, I was simply illustrating that it’s really not that unusual, especially if one’s children live very close.

I lived with my widowed mother and her parents from 3-6 years old, so naturally we were very close and I truly valued my relationship with my grandparents.

Norah

Perhaps three visits a week was too much for her and once a month is acceptable to their family way of life. I'd say nothing, wait seeing what happens.

I kind of get this. I do wish the OP would come back and answer some of our questions?

Her absence does make me wonder if something did happen??

It is the text from your SiL I find worrying. Why isn’t your daughter able to communicate her feelings to you directly. If she feels sad is this because she might be suffering from post natal depression when feelings/emotions can be overwhelming?
Had your daughter seemed down or sad when you see her?
Is a bit confusing tbh.

Big hugs
Im finding my adult daughter more difficult as she gets older
Or maybe its me thats getting more difficult
Either way, I've decided to take a step back. Not easy but less of a heart break
Thinking of you xx

Accept the once a month and don't ask.for more. Sorry but give it space and time x