Why does my cat not like me?

You don’t smell right.

I don’t mean that you smell but that it’s not right for her.

Some cats are just one person cats. We had one who loved me but wouldn't go near DH. Equally we had one that loved DH and DS but wasn't bothered about me. Cats!

Ignore her.
She might try to get round you then by being friendly.

Cats are contrary creatures, they make a beeline for those people who aren't so keen on them!

My little female is a stray, and she has I think been harmed by men during her lonely life. She is frightened of my husband (although patience, gentleness, quiet and no sudden movement is helping) and she is particularly frightened of legs and anything resembling a stick.

But she has over the past 9 months put all her trust into me and gradually getting much more confident, but it is a long job.
It does seem onerous, but we try as far as possible to keep everything in the house exactly the same as she gets really jittery and frightened if things change or are different and will end up in her safe place - under a bed.

Ever onwards!

Our cat loves both of us and is very affectionate. Our previous cat only had eyes for me!! 🤣. My DH tried so hard but she just ignored him . There was no reason at all for her to dislike him - she just did! Keep persevering, she may surprise you one day! Good luck.

My brother and SIL had a cat many years ago. It wouldn't let anyone fuss it or get near it!

When SIL went to Hospital to give birth, my children and I went to the house first so we could go with brother to visit the new born.

The cat was all over us, wanting to be fussed etc. It is as if she knew something different had happened and competition was coming?

The other thing we do is to keep her to the same routine each day, so she gets the same words spoken to her in the morning and fed at the same time, and throughout the day her routine remains the same - out in the garden, back in to snooze etc.
We let her dictate her day and she seems very happy knowing what to expect etc.

Get a second cat, ArthurMann.

Go to the cats rescue and don't take them straightaway, make a bond. You'll know rapidly if a cat there takes to you, they will show it. Establish a treats regime as you visit. Cant to the cat, tell them All (winky wotsit)

Then both of you can enjoy a cat on the lap when the TV is on ☺️

Chat not cant.

Ask the cat.

We had a cat when I was a child who ignored everyone in the family except my father. This was strange because he worked long hours, was not around very much and didn't put the food out for her meals.

She used to wait by the front door for him to come in and he would pick her up and cuddle her. With the rest of us she would struggle if we picked her up and if we put her on our laps she jumped off immediately.

As Allira says cats are contrary creatures.

They have their little likes and dislikes and sometimes it's not clear why.

The one thing I miss about the horrible last lot of neighbours I had here is one of their cats. They had two and I treated them both the same when they came "visiting" in my garden. That led to the pair of them being frequent visitors and, with one of them, it was very much on her terms what was what and she was basically a bit antisocial to me.

The other one though would often appear - winding her way round my legs, waiting for me to walk back to my home after going out and "ask" me if I'd comb her (they were long-haired cats and I don't think they ever were combed - but she clearly loved it). So we'd have a little "beauty salon" session and, when she thought she'd had enough she'd then have a little "sit and watch the scenery" session in my porch until she decided to let herself back out again.

Both cats were trying their best to move in with me - but the "beauty salon" one definitely liked me - whilst the other one was more "take it or leave it" attitude. They've defo got their own little personalities.

They make their choices and she may be a one person cat.

You should try ignoring her and then one day you'll find her on your lap. Contrary little creatures. Love them all.

My husband and I have had several cats over the past 44 years. Most were "my"cats as I did all the feeding, litter tray, and vet visits. Our previous cat was feral and took to my husband quite quickly - in fact, it was 2 years before he sat on my knee. The current cat has been here for 14 months. He had been a stray. Whenever my husband moved, the cat used to dash to the door to escape. He now occasionally sits next to my husband. Slowly, but surely, your cat will trust you.

I wouldn't get another cat - your present cat may not like that, then you'd end up with 2 unhappy ones. Cats generally prefer to be.

Cats generally prefer to be solitary.

Cats see direct eye contact as aggression and will go to the person who ignores them. Try the ‘what cat?’ method and you may find things improve.

Buy the cat some Dreamies and she might come round

Our cat is very much 'mine'. DH feeds her, strokes her and has never done her any harm, but she always runs to me, sits on my lap and favours me with purring. However when I went away on holiday in the summer all of a sudden DH got all the attention. She sat and waited for him after work, followed him around the house, sat on his lap, purred. When I returned she studiously ignored me for two days and continued to favour DH, but I was forgiven gradually and now we have reverted to her being 'my' cat again. Clearly the cat has her own self-interest at heart. Thinking about it the only thing I do on a daily basis which DH never does is get down on the floor to stroke and fuss her. She hates being picked up and DH hates lying on the floor. I dont know if that is what tips the balance when we are both here.

Don’t try too hard. I’ve observed the same with my husband when we had our cats. Also, big gestures (arms out to cuddle, exaggeratedly’rough’ stroking) and speaking loudly. It won’t happen overnight, it might take months but if you follow these recommendations you’ll see a difference.
If you think you already do these just ask someone else or compare your wife’s voice and gestures with your own. You might be right, but my husband has a loud voice and doesn’t realise it! He has learnt to be quieter talking to the cats.
One more thing; if they put up resistance to being held just let them be. If they think you’re going to try to force them to stay held each time, they’ll be wary of approaching you.
When you do achieve their trust and love you will experience a great feeling. There’s nothing like the bond between a cat and a human!

You do not say whether this cat is one you have had from a kitten, or if it is a stray that has decided to make its home with you.

If it is a stray, the answer may well be, as one of the other posters said of their cat that they suspect the cat has had some kind of ill-treatment from men.

Do you wear outdoor shoes in the house? A lot of cats do not care for people who tread heavily when walking.

I too suggest you ignore the cat for a while - like small children they often are attracted by the pretence from us that we don't care if they want to be near us or not.

Apologies if someone has already said this ( not time to read all). I suggest that you - and only you - feed the cat and be patient, but hopefully it will decide that it had better be nice to you!

I know my daughter got a rescue cat, and had to wait a long time for it to become friendly - who knows what had been done to it by other humans?) She now is very friendly, sleeps on daughter's bed and jumps on her lap.

To misquote Kipling, she’s the cat who walks by herself and all places are alike to her - in their minds they don’t need us, we need them. That’s what I like about them. I like dogs too!

Get yourself a dog 😉

Exactly as everyone has said, you're trying too hard. Ignore the cat, not if it needs anything obviously, but don't instigate anything, let it come to you..or not