Limericks

There was a young lady from Nottingham
Who'd no manners or if she had she'd forgotten 'em.
At tea at the vicar's
She took off her knickers
Complaining she felt too hot in 'em.

There once was a lady from Hull
Who walked in a field with a bull
The bull was too frisky
Which made the walk risky
But then walking in Hull's never dull.

There was a young lass from Devizes
Who had breasts of different sizes
One was small
Hardly anything at all
The other was big and won prizes.

I love this thread lol

Two slugs in a vegetable bed
Said 'Let us eat flowers instead.
An hors d'oeuvre of carnations
Caused acute palpitations,
And now, thank the lord, they're both dead.

Aah, my step-mum used to recite a limerick similar to that of notsogrand, however it was a "young man" and so I'll let you guess the rest!

That limerick was the second rude joke I heard at primary school moomin

There was a young man from Darjeeling
Who boarded a bus bound for Ealing
It said on the door
'Do not spit on the floor'
So he stood up and spat on the ceiling.

There was a young lady named Gloria
Who was had by Sir Gerald du Maurier,
Another ten men
And Sir Gerald again
And the band from the Waldorf-Astoria...

If you catch a Chinchilla in Chile
And cut off its beard, willy-nilly
You can honestly say
That you have just made
A Chilean Chinchilla's chin chilly