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Preganancy and childbirth now compared to your experience.

(49 Posts)
Sago Mon 08-Jun-26 14:09:23

32 years ago today I was preparing to go to hospital to have my third child and 3rd caesarian section, I had no idea if I was having a girl or boy, I was so excited to know.

My pregnancy had been tumultuous but my GP and midwife were all excellent.
Appointments were made for me on a weekly basis for the final weeks so I was closely monitored and felt secure.

I had only bought plain white baby grows and nighties but was looking forward to buying gender specific clothing.

Thinking about this today made me think how much more straightforward it all was then.
No fuss over gender reveals, baby showers etc.
I had the element of surprise regarding gender.

Prams and pushchairs were just that, no designer brands and accessories, there were no fit mum classes urging you to lose weight and no social media.
You had time in hospital to get important support in the first days.

My GP visited me at home twice and I had midwifery and health visitor support at home for the first weeks.

I was very lucky in that it was a very hot summer and my kind neighbours gave me the use of their swimming pool, my lovely baby lay in the canopied shade of the beautiful coach built pram I had borrowed whilst I swam many lengths in the pool, no warnings of sepsis and scars as it was almost unheard of .

It was so simple and joyous.

Thinking of our daughter and her experience 11 and 5 years ago, I do think I was very fortunate.

Do you think it’s easier or harder now?

TwiceAsNice Mon 08-Jun-26 14:32:10

I think it’s definitely harder and care is worse. I had my children in 1975, 1980, and 1983. I felt by baby no 3 the care had slipped a bit . In 10 days with the first , 3 days with the 2nd, 36 hrs with the 3rd and had a post partum haemorrhage after the 3rd also. Midwife came to the house and treated me and told me off for going out too soon.

By the time my daughter had her twins in 2009 postnatal care was awful , they expected her to manage 2 babies after a section and when we came to take her home (we were visiting at discharge time ) they said there were no wheelchairs for us to use (3 days post op) .

I was so mad I had a stand up row with the sister and said she wasn’t going anywhere until I found one! I roamed several floors before I found one and took it back to her ward. We kept taking her in extra food because the portions were pitiful , she was starving feeding 2 babies who were both normal weights.

Nowadays you hear of mothers dying, babies dying or damaged, its appalling , for a western country we should be ashamed

Calendargirl Mon 08-Jun-26 14:41:20

My children were born in 1974 and 1976.

Seven days in hospital with both, should have been two with second baby, but kept in as I developed a fever.

Looking back, I felt I had excellent care, decent food, enough staff, sensible visiting times (1 hour in afternoon for family, then husbands only in evening for an hour). Far better than the world and his wife at all hours like nowadays.

When I hear about how it is now, I feel very grateful I gave birth 50 years ago.

GrannySomerset Mon 08-Jun-26 14:42:36

Perhaps someone on here will know more but I do wonder if separating midwifery training as opposed to it being an add-on after SRN training has had any effect on care standards. I assume someone somewhere has researched this?

poppysmum Mon 08-Jun-26 14:48:30

i seemed to cross over somewhere. when i had my first in 1986 i had to be shaved have an enema which nearly killed me with contractions! i would never want to go through that again. the labour was traumatic but I stayed in 7 days during which i was shown everything including bathing baby. when i went out despite a few stitches I felt quite good. first time to be dressed as i had been in bed not being dressed.
second baby 6 weeks early and my care was sort of alright. no enemas etc just had the baby. no incubators and they said she was so ill i was told to just hold her and enjoy time with her. late husband was gone to his sisters for the night she was born just before midnight no mobiles etc in those days. no staff came to check on me but at 6 in the morning a nurse came in and was astonished to see was still with us. i was told to have a shower had not had one since giving birth 6 hours earlier. when i came back my baby was gone i was hysterical and eventually a nurse told me an incubator had come free in the intensive care so she had been put in there, I was transfered to one of three rooms further down the corridor, this hospital has gone now, i stayed in there 3 weeks until i went home. my husband did not drive then so it was train everyday to see me and baby having to bring our other child as my late mum was working. talking of mum i was really worried about going into special care for the first time and my dear mum took a day off work to go with me. i think she was in about two weeks after i went home. we visited daily and she is now a healthy girl born 1987 and now a staff nurse

dalrymple23 Mon 08-Jun-26 15:11:00

1972: Queen Charlotte's: 10 days as inpatient; brilliant care

1974: Queen Charlotte's: 5 days as inpatient: not such good care.

1975: Queen Mary's, Roehampton; 7 days as inpatient; good care.

Charlotte's was very baby orientated and, basically, blow the mother!!

Mary's was the reverse - mother most important, waited on hand and foot and let's all go to a sherry party with the doctors and nurses every evening!!! I discovered meanwhile that the baby was turning blue with cold!! No babygro and no blankets!!

The Mary's daughter has three children. The first, born at King's College. An eye watering 12.5lbs. Left in womb for too long, with the inevitable results. He ended up in an incubator but OK now. Because of the history with the first born, Caesarian advised for the next two. They clocked in at 12lbs and 11.10 respectively. Thrown out of hospital in 24 hours. This can't be right, surely?

Like the previous poster, very glad that I had mine i the Seventies. There seemed to be more care then. And, no, I do not think that the university route is the right way for the nursing profession.

tanith Mon 08-Jun-26 15:14:55

Mine were born 69 73 and 76 I had an enema and was shaved for all of them also told to have a bath I can’t explain how awful the enema for my son was it was very messy and that’s putting it tactfully. I was in hospital 10 days for all of them when I’d of much preferred to go home it was 1976 the hot Summer. They woke you at 5am breakfast at 6 cereal and toast 6 mums to a ward. Nowadays mums are lucky if they stay in for 6hrs.

Casdon Mon 08-Jun-26 15:28:48

My last was born in 1997, and there definitely was pram and pushchair snobbery, and designer baby wear was in evidence by that time.

I’m not sure that the childbirth experience for me was that much different to now. I knew I was expecting a boy from very early in my pregnancy, as I had chorionic villus sampling to test for Downs due to my age. I didn’t have a baby shower, but neither did my daughter when my GD was born.

I bet there are as many different experiences as there are Gransnetters with children though. One thing that sticks in my mind is taking my newborn in his navy convertible pram/pushchair, dressed in dark checked dungarees, to the supermarket for the first time, and seeing another mum with a baby about six months old, fully kitted out in white hand crocheted bonnet, matinee jacket, dress and bootees, in a white pram too, and thinking how different we were.

Gin Mon 08-Jun-26 15:54:53

My first was born in 1965 in Barnet and Ibstayed in the hospital for 14 days. Tge babies were with us in the day but in the nursery at night so we had plenty of sleep and they food was reasonable. The matron ruled the ward with strong discipline of staff and mothers. We were taught how to bath the babe and general child care which was so useful for a first time mother.
My second child was born in DRC Kinshasa 1968 in a hospital run by Belgian nuns and the care was superb.

The third child born in UK in 1964, my husband delivered as the midwife had a headache! I was at home in our new half furnished house and it was freezing cold. He survived!

JamesandJon33 Mon 08-Jun-26 15:57:09

Just over sixty years ago I went into hospital to have my first child. The birth was relatively easy helped on wth liberal amounts of gas and air. No father present, but two midwifes at all times.
10 days in hospital with limited visiting hours. Baby in cot at foot of bed during the day, in the nursery at night. We were not disturbed at night.
Instruction on breast feeding and bathing a baby.
Then home, to night feeds etc and exhaustion.

ExDancer Mon 08-Jun-26 16:12:14

1st baby in 1960 - shaved, bath and enema! 7 days in hos[ital.
2nd baby 1963 - no time for the three indignities and a much better experience all round. Just 5 days as an inpatient.
In those days a District Nurse visited regularly and was a huge support and help.

I cannot imagine WHY anyone should think enemas were a good idea!

GrannyGravy13 Mon 08-Jun-26 16:13:56

Our last child was born early 1990’s

My husband along with my best friend (who was a senior nurse) were with me throughout.

I had an epidural, and a long protracted labour. I was given the choice of going home after 6 hours or staying in overnight. I chose to stay in overnight.

(Apparently the celebrations at my house were rather exuberant )

Previous labours were with pethadine and gas and air, first one I stayed in hospital for 7 days, baby went to the nursery overnight, and there was a smoking room at the send of the ward.

One before last I stayed in for 4 nights in a private room with its own shower and toilet, bliss.

GrannyGravy13 Mon 08-Jun-26 16:15:08

Oops, shaved and enema for all apart from last one,

J52 Mon 08-Jun-26 16:29:01

dalrymple23 I was born in Queen Charlotte’s, obviously before your children grin

My children were born in The Royal Free, Hampstead in the 80s. It was fabulous care, especially as I had post birth medical issues.
It was known as The Hampstead Hilton, I don’t expect it’s the same nowadays.

Grannynannywanny Mon 08-Jun-26 16:30:22

When my youngest grandchild was born 10 years ago they were sent home after 6 hrs . My poor Dil barely had time to have her tea and toast and a shower and they were discharged.

I was at home with their 14 month old planning to drop her off to my son at the hospital for a visit. I was gobsmacked when my son phoned to say they were on their way home. The first 24hrs were very difficult as baby was struggling to feed and the less he fed the sleepier and less interested he became. They should never have been discharged before feeding was established.

Lovemylife Mon 08-Jun-26 16:45:28

I was in for 6 days with my first in the freeze of 1987. No visitors apart from DH who walked through deep snow to get to the hospital. Babies were taken to the nursery at night and a nurse would fetch you when baby was awake.
A huge contrast to when DD had her first, by C-section. There were 6 in the ward, all with partners and babies 24/7. No one got a wink of sleep with talking, crying and phones all night.

Usedtobeblonde Mon 08-Jun-26 17:00:04

First child 1965, no Husbands allowed except visiting hour.
Baby just brought at feeding time.
Then whisked away. I felt I didn’t know her.
I had her in Nottingham Women’s hospital and 48 hours later was told I was being transferred to a Nursing home in my home town, I said if I’m leaving here I’m going home and I did.
Midwife visited next day and daily for about 10 days.
Second baby 1970, home birth, bliss, own bed, first child fast asleep in the next room, husband by my side.
For a normal uncomplicated birth it can’t be bettered.
No epidurals in those days, gas and air and no scans so a surprise each time.
Now even C-sections are out in hours and no daily visits as far as I can see, just a Health visitor a couple of times.

Farmor15 Mon 08-Jun-26 18:49:36

I'm in Ireland, so birth experiences then and now may be slightly different.
My first was born in 1982-shaved, enema, episiotomy, but fairly quick, uncomplicated birth. In hospital 6 days, baby left with me during the day, but taken to nursery at night. Brought to me for feeding if he woke up. Bathed and changed by staff - I didn't have to do anything!
2 daughters have had babies in last 5 years. They opted for midwife-led care, where they went home later on day of delivery but midwife visited at home for next 3 days.
Since fathers now get paternity leave, a new mother will have some support if discharged from hospital soon after the birth. However, I would be concerned about infection or hemorrhage if discharged within a few hours with no checks afterwards.

Kandinsky Mon 08-Jun-26 19:01:47

1st child born 1986 ( epidural )
was in hospital for 4 days ( maybe 5? )
No complications.
Last child born 1999 ( epidural ) what can I say, I’m a wimp.
In hospital for just one night.
Much preferred my last birth.

Jaxjacky Mon 08-Jun-26 19:10:50

First born in 1986 using a birthing chair, a quick three hour labour, gas and air only, in hospital for three days.
Second a home birth in 1992, after the waters were broken it was an hour to the birth, but he’d swallowed some gunge so he was suctioned out, GP called and ambulance outside. Neither were needed, we had a bath, my midwives were the best.

Georgesgran Mon 08-Jun-26 19:25:57

1979 - DD1, hospital then known as Dryburn, now UHND. Yes, shaved, enema and gas and air. DH told to go home as nothing was happening - obviously he missed the birth just half an hour later. We warned a friend and same hospital tried to send him home, he refused and his baby was born 20 minutes later. I was kept in 7 days.

DD2 in 1983 same hospital which didn’t do epidurals. Nightmare - BH weekend and DH spent the time running up and down corridors trying to find nurses for me and other labouring ladies. Staff hadn’t read my notes, so DH advised them, in no uncertain terms. I was discharged less than 12 hours later.

FlexibleFriend Mon 08-Jun-26 20:25:48

My two were born in 1980 and 1988 both easy straightforward births, had a shower ,had a kip and went home 6 hours later. No complaints.

Grammaretto Tue 09-Jun-26 00:43:25

First in 1970 my waters broke at midnight so we went to the Midwife run cottage hospital - no doctor. Husband sent home. I was shaved and had enema. In the morning nothing was happening so I chatted to the woman in the next bed and was shocked to discover that her baby had died in the womb but she had to go through labour.

By the afternoon visiting time it was decided I should move to the general hospital so we, DH was allowed to come with me, went in an ambulance . I was frightened but at least I wasn't alone. At the hospital I was in a single room but the buzzer didn't work. By night labour started in earnest. I had pethidine and a painful internal exam.
At 5 am I was moved to the delivery room and our boy was born. DH in gown was allowed to stay.

I was moved to a room with baby in a cot but not even given a cup of tea! DH went home to sleep and spread the news.

He came back at visiting time and I was walking about the ward but after 2 days I was taken back to the nursing home where DH was dismissed, I was in a large ward , baby taken to nursery apart from feeding times, strictly 4 hourly.

I was one of only 2 breastfeeding so we had to have the curtains drawn in case a visiting man should see us! Once I was brought the wrong baby.

I was there for a week but only allowed out of bed on day 3 and was handed my baby to carry home in the car. No car seats.

DH called the health visitor after 10 days as no-one had called and we were worried baby was vomiting a lot. We were 20 and 23 with no experience of babies.

DC2 was Domino system. The midwife had a room at the hospital where baby was delivered and I should have gone home the following day but the weather was too bad .

DS3 was born at home. Much the best experience.

In 1986 I had my DD I had to go to hospital because I was old (37) but I asked to be allowed home after 2 days. It was noisy and impossible to sleep.

5 of our 7 DGC were C sections. All were discharged very quickly, one the same day.

MissAdventure Tue 09-Jun-26 00:57:44

I had my baby in 1982.
Three months early, and born by cesarean.
I vowed then and there that I would never want to go through that again. (And I didn't!)

Sarnia Tue 09-Jun-26 08:27:01

My children and hospital stays were, 1972 with 2 weeks, 1974 with 10 days, 1981 with 1 day, 1984 with 3 days & 1985 with 3 days. My experiences between the 2 decades were very different.

With my first 2, born in the 70's, the hospital had a 6 week ante-natal course and a tour of the Maternity unit. Both were normal deliveries but I had care for a month. 2 weeks in hospital followed by 10 days with the post natal midwife every day, then as soon as she discharged me, the health visitor was at the door with advice and details of the local baby clinic. After all this, I felt I could cope. By the 80's care had dwindled. Just a day or so in hospital, post-natal midwife visited occasionally over the next 7 days and no sign of a health visitor.
In answer to the OP's question. I think it may be harder now, in some ways. There doesn't seem to be the time spent in hospital or at home where the new Mum receives care and support from the professionals. Our local Sure Start centres have all been closed and they were an excellent source of help and a way of Mums and babies getting together.