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A funeral question…

(43 Posts)
CanadianGran Fri 29-May-26 22:46:55

If your partner is going to a funeral/celebration of life for an old school friend that you don’t know, do you accompany him?

I most likely will, but will most probably be left making awkward small talk to people I don’t know.

Franski Fri 29-May-26 22:55:41

Would he like you to go with him? That would be my measure of what to do.

Scribbles Fri 29-May-26 22:57:53

I would only go if my partner specifically asked me to - because it was a close friend and he felt he needed my support.

MT62 Sat 30-May-26 00:15:58

No I think I would let him go on his own & catch up with people from the past.
Unless he’s nervous, or shy & wants you to go with him.

Wyllow3 Sat 30-May-26 00:23:03

Franski

Would he like you to go with him? That would be my measure of what to do.

Yes.

CanadianGran Sat 30-May-26 05:19:35

Thank you. I most likely will go. It’s in town, but a classmate he didn’t really associate much with as adult. DH is outgoing and will be fine on his own, he will know a lot of people there, and I’m sure be busy chatting. I just have to put my social face on…..

BlueBelle Sat 30-May-26 05:33:43

I just have to put my social face on but why Canadiangran ?

If you know he would be quite happy on his own and you know nobody there why in earth put yourself through it unless he has asked you specifically to accompany him ???

David49 Sat 30-May-26 06:27:08

My wife would never miss any gathering, not knowing anyone is an opportunity for her to chat and find out, if others at the gathering know me that would be her ice breaker.

NotAGran55 Sat 30-May-26 06:37:26

I would only go if my partner needed me for emotional support. I would feel very odd going to a funeral of a stranger otherwise.

Astitchintime Sat 30-May-26 06:41:28

No, I wouldn’t and he wouldn’t attend a funeral of any of my friends that he didn’t know either. Very odd to attend the funeral of a stranger…….rather like those busybodies who go to be nosy and elbow their way into the wake for a free meal.

Ladyleftfieldlover Sat 30-May-26 07:05:53

OH has been to several funerals of people I do not know. I have not gone with him and he hasn’t expected me to. Likewise, I have attended funerals of people he hasn’t known and I haven’t expected him to go with me.

Calendargirl Sat 30-May-26 07:13:27

Ladyleftfieldlover

OH has been to several funerals of people I do not know. I have not gone with him and he hasn’t expected me to. Likewise, I have attended funerals of people he hasn’t known and I haven’t expected him to go with me.

Ditto.

Cabbie21 Sat 30-May-26 07:13:36

No, I wouldn’t go unless he specifically wanted me to.

BlueBelle Sat 30-May-26 07:14:09

I don’t understand why you question it in your head, ask about it on here, and then say well I expect I ll go anyway
What’s the point in asking ?

Sago Sat 30-May-26 07:14:21

I would never go to the funeral of someone I didn’t know well.

honeyrose Sat 30-May-26 08:44:23

No I wouldn’t go and my husband wouldn’t ask me to go. I’d feel very awkward about going, as I don’t see the point, although I would go if my DH asked me to.

jusnoneed Sat 30-May-26 08:55:09

No. I rarely go to funerals but my partner will go off to ones for people he hasn't seen or had contact with for years. I always think that's odd, if you don't see someone while they are alive why go to their funeral?

kircubbin2000 Sat 30-May-26 08:56:26

I think it's intrusive to go to funerals of strangers. 2 people came to my dads funeral and sat chatting through his special hymn. I had to shush them!
Then they had the cheek to come to the hotel afterwards.They were friends of another attendee but no connection to our family.

SORES Sat 30-May-26 09:22:49

CanadianGran

If your partner is going to a funeral/celebration of life for an old school friend that you don’t know, do you accompany him?

I most likely will, but will most probably be left making awkward small talk to people I don’t know.

what Bluebell said ^^

you don’t want to be in a position of having to make awkward small talk with the recently bereaved family and close friends of an old school friend of your husband, a complete stranger
to you, now do you ?! Did you think there might be cake?

Esmay Sat 30-May-26 09:29:47

Sometimes situations can be daunting.:

If your partner prefers you to come with him - make an effort to go to keep him company .

SORES Sat 30-May-26 09:32:06

BlueBelle ! (sorry)

MT62 Sat 30-May-26 10:40:59

Last year I went to a bikers funeral (was a member of a motorcycle club back in the day). Friend who was coming with me, who always lets me down last minute, did.
So off I went, a little nervous as I hadn’t seen anyone for years, to the Crem & after to his favourite pub turned into tea room. Amazed to see all these bikers having tea & cakes off bone china cups & plates.
It was fantastic seeing everyone, all older, of course. We just sat reminiscing.
Glad now my friend gibbed, otherwise I would have had to sit talking to her about all her ailments, moaning that she didn’t know anyone.

Aveline Sat 30-May-26 10:45:55

It is possible to just attend the funeral service and not go on to an apres funeral do. We've been to several lately and usually choose not to go on after. I don't mind if I don't know the person. I can wish them well with a good conscience.

MT62 Sat 30-May-26 10:47:26

kircubbin2000

I think it's intrusive to go to funerals of strangers. 2 people came to my dads funeral and sat chatting through his special hymn. I had to shush them!
Then they had the cheek to come to the hotel afterwards.They were friends of another attendee but no connection to our family.

Yes I agree. I think funerals are private affairs, especially if you didn’t know that person.
My mums Friend is what I call a professional mourner. She goes to everyone’s funeral, regardless if she knew them or not.
I call her the ‘Grim Reaper’ 🙄

GrannyGravy13 Sat 30-May-26 10:48:23

I only go to funerals of people I knew.

I wouldn’t expect DH to accompany me to a funeral of someone he didn’t know. For me funerals are a celebration of someone’s life, and a coming together of family and friends to show love and respect for the deceased and reminiscing.

DH has two funerals in three weeks, he will go along with his friend who also knew the deceased. I have declined as I barely knew them.