Large social gatherings

Make a bee line for the people you do know, or if you see someone on their own go and chat to them.

Some of the events I have dreaded the most, I have ended up having a ball

I'd look for others who seem to be on their own and try to chat to them. It can be difficult when you know very few - best of luck!

I expect that's what I'll have to do. DH suggested that I have a drink first but I've gone off alcohol. He then decided I'd better not drink in case I become a mean, argumentative drunk. As if!

Just get yourself a drink and stand around. Talk to someone if they initiate conversation. Otherwise just think about what you’re going to do when it’s over. In my old age I can’t be bothered with small talk.

I know what you mean. Luckily it's in a hotel so I can just see myself scuttling off to our room for a nice cup of tea and a read. However, it's important to DH so I'll try to make the effort to chat to others.

I don’t envy you in any way! I cannot bear these big events, grit your teeth, smile, have something nice to drink (it doesn’t need to be alcoholic) and waft round looking for a kind face or someone else on their own! It’ll soon be over

I don’t like big gatherings for this reason, but whenever I have gone to one I tend to circle the herd looking for stragglers like myself and rescue them from a similar fate by striking up a conversation.
It tends to work and can be quite enjoyable.

I’ve always hated social gatherings and just sit in a corner. I know now that I’m a bit autistic ( having passed it on to half my descendants)
Speaking to strangers is so hard. I wish others who are comfortable in a group would take pity on the introverts and try to include them. It’s unkind to say, ‘Nobody spoke to you? It’s your own fault, did you speak to them? ‘

I don't go to many social functions nowadays but I used to in the past. Generally I 'knew' some people but they were people I only saw once a year, so conversation was a bit stilted.

I think it's a good idea to ask people questions about themselves - ages, names of children, do they have any hobbies etc. I find that people are always keen to talk about themselves, so it's a conversation started.

Good luck. Get yourself a nice drink and find someone who looks to be on their own and start the conversation.

This would be my worst nightmare, I would rather stick pins 8n my eyes than attend a large social event similar to what you describe Aveline.

As someone has suggested, speak to those who you know particularly well whilst keeping a lookout for anyone who is standing alone and perhaps approaching them and introduce yourself……..I have done just this in the past and the person I spoke to was very friendly, but I have to admit that taking that first step is a bit ‘uncomfortable’.

Not something to be enjoyed, rather endured.
You'll be fine. Just smile and look approachable.

Early on in our marriage I embarrassed poor DH and myself by passing out whilst listening to his rather boring boss. I'd only had a sherry but no food.
I was looked after, when I emerged from the loo, by another of his colleagues.
I blamed the tight dress I was wearing.
No danger of that now.

I expect I'll pin on a smile and make an effort. Maybe I'll be lucky and it will turn out to be one of those things I dread but turn out to be terrific. I've got three days of it though... 😨

Oh no three days! You'll need to escape occasionally.

Aveline Is that what you do 😂😂😂🤗

Is this a corporate weekend? You have my sympathy. I used to look out for other women who didn't look as if they were enjoying it and chat about nothing much. DH used to hate those events too.
Eventually he started his own business so we escaped all that.

Three days! How awful. But presumably there will be other spouses who are not delegates or whatever? What on earth are they/ you meant to do for three days, unless there is a separate programme for you. Could you organise something? No idea what as context is everything.

Can you stay home, allowing his to attend alone.

My preference.

Its in a nice hotel in a nice part of the world. I expect I'll go for a wander round the area and enjoy just being in such a pleasant place. When it comes to the social side I'll grin and bear it. I'm sure I'll find people to speak to. Maybe new faces? Will update on Monday.

Think I agree with Norah...I can't bear big events.Maybe your DH should make sure you are introduced to a few people. And if he can't pull himself away from his group or include you then personally I wouldn't be interested in tagging along without knowing anyone as they're usually quite set in sticking with who they know. There again I could be wrong and you might have a ball!

Surely some responsibility falls on your DH to involve you in things, or see that you have people to link up with? On the business gatherings I attended with DW the "companions" (nearly all wives) got together pretty quickly.

I avoid situations like this like the plague. I used to go to events like that, but now that I am 80 I just don't and I don't feel guilty about it

Sounds awful, I agree that I’d try to find another woman who looks lost and latch on to her, but it’s a strain trying to make small talk. I’ve always done my best in situations like this, but once noticed my SIL taking himself off from a large gathering and going to read a book. When I asked about it, I was told that he’s an introvert and finds these gatherings too intense. Everyone seemed to accept this, but I don’t think I’d dare try it. I must add that he’s perfectly chatty and sociable usually.
On another occasion I was on a 3 day work training course where we were all expected to socialise in the evenings. I hated it, making small talk, when all I wanted was to go to my room and relax. There was another woman there I knew and liked, but when I asked if we could sit together at dinner, she told me she hated these things and always brought an M&S sandwich which she ate in her room, and no one ever noticed. What a good idea I thought.

Stick with hubby, nod, and smile at appropriate times, agree with everyone,

Three days? What a pain. But don't worry. It will be what it will be. Three days is not long in a lifetime.
Perhaps you might become slightly unwell, a migraine perhaps, and have to spend some time resting in your room. Or perhaps your headache will require fresh air and a walk on your own or a quiet place to sit in the grounds
I am quite extroverted. But everybody feels dread and social unease in this sort of situation. And those who are in the cliques will have not been in a clique and felt awkward at some time in their lives too. We are always much more aware of ourselves in social situations than the people around us are aware of us. Good luck. You can do this. I hope you will have an unexpectedly nice time. Or if not, chalk it up to experience.
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