Being asked for an honest opinion

Point out the good things first ( assuming there are some !) and then say you found it a little bit long ?

I think it would be best to be honest. Pick out the parts of the book you liked but say you thought there was too much padding which detracted from the story.
Positive criticism will help her rather than let her make her second book long winded and boring.

I think a gentle amount of honesty is required. Perhaps if the basic premise of the book is good you could say so, but then go on to say you think it would have worked better if it was shorter, there was too much peripheral information to absorb type of thing. Just try to find something positive to start with, maybe her description of the locations, or the dialogue seemed very real, just something you can genuinely praise before enlarging on where you felt it could be better. I do think you need to be honest, but try to avoid being brutal.

Many authors come up with a good idea for a story but there isn't enough to fill a book, so they pad it out with irrelevant details. Perhaps this is what she has done?
Perhaps she might be better writing short stories for a magazine, and you could suggest this?

Perhaps it would be even better with some judicious editing?

Suggest that it needs judicious editing? Of course she might have to pay for that.

Personally, I could never do anything other than find all the positives to praise if a friend was trying to be a writer.
I'd want her to feel encouraged, it must be a wonderful vocation and I'd be so happy for her to have that outlet for her writing.
Market forces will decide if she is able to pursue it further, but I'd be behind her - so many famous authors were rejected by publishing houses at the start of their careers so I wouldn't feel qualified to critique anyway!

No writer ever wants a totally honest opinion, not ever, even if they say they do.
Do the 'sandwich' feedback: make positive comments about anything that even vaguely merits it, then one minor criticism, and finish on another positive note.

I think the difficult bit here is that it is costing her money to publish and you don't want her to waste more. Perhaps advise her to see how the 1st one goes before she spends more on the 2nd one. But as the 2 PPs above say be gentle with her. Compliment the good parts and offer just gentle advice about the length.
Try not to "gossip" with the other friends.

I agree with Quercus. Do you really want to hurt your friend’s feelings? Find lots of good things to say and sandwich a little negative comment between them.

As a published author (not self published) who used to be asked to review unpublished authors’ (members of a large group) work, I would say that the vast majority needed cutting by a quarter, or even more. TBH many of the efforts were frankly dire, and I do not say that lightly. Overwriting/padding is IMO the most common fault.

In many cases I would struggle to find anything nice to say, but I always did, since I knew from my own experience how badly they were longing for someone to say it was wonderful and any publisher was going to grab it with both hands.

So I don’t envy you for feeling obliged to do this!
Suggesting a professional editor would be my advice, but I can almost guarantee that the author won’t like it.

My publisher told me that authors have to develop a thick skin as, inevitably, there will be those who don't enjoy your books.

I would sit down and first of all write down your gut feelings, good and bad. This is a good starting point. Then read it through and write up a review. Then go through the review and pretend you are the author. How would you receive it? Go through your review again and soften it so that it is broad and balanced. i.e. I did not like the main character. I found him to be superficial and boring. Softer words. I thought the main character was interesting in (name few scenes where they appeared promising) but would have liked to have scene his character more developed as if he were someone I was meeting in real life. Amazon can be a good starting point. Some of the really good and really bad reviews can give you the 'softer' language which you could use. At the end of the day she spent days writing her creativity into it. so a gently yet guiding hand is really what she needs.

Reading all the above comments, they are all really relevant and give a good 360 degree view of the situation to 'inspire' you. Good luck and also hope your friend finds her niche.

nanna8

Point out the good things first ( assuming there are some !) and then say you found it a little bit long ?

Yes! Great advice.

Highlight the good bits then suggest she hires a professional editor to tidy up a bit?

You say she has already published…..so not much she can do about anything now. Did she not ask for opinions before she published.. no proofreader ?
Don’t put a review on a book site that is not honest.
I would suggest , that with her second book, she gives it to someone she really trusts. Someone who will give her a clear idea of what and how to edit her manuscript.
Or suggest she uses one of the self publishing companies that will help her with that.

Rosie51

I think a gentle amount of honesty is required. Perhaps if the basic premise of the book is good you could say so, but then go on to say you think it would have worked better if it was shorter, there was too much peripheral information to absorb type of thing. Just try to find something positive to start with, maybe her description of the locations, or the dialogue seemed very real, just something you can genuinely praise before enlarging on where you felt it could be better. I do think you need to be honest, but try to avoid being brutal.

This. it has to be "I loved the, but....maybe if this passage ....(were shortened, got in the way for the flow of the book, might have been used to another purpose)

You are not helping her at all by not alluding to bits where if her attention is brought to them, might be cut or more usefully and used for another purpose.

If people don't help out (and she isn't going to professional for this) then her next book might have the same errors in shape and style.

I've shown work as a visual artist and it's so hard to send your baby out there into the world and get horrible stuff back, but...

I really gained by people saying, "if only you'd made this or that more clear...

The other things she will gain is different feedback from different people. Different people might choose this or that as the good bits, but

if all say "this bit too long and got in the way of the flow of the narrative" then she is as it were on the way to really helpful feedback.

Thank you all for your great suggestions. Peripheral information is a great word to use, as is the phrase
‘getting in the way of the narrative’. My friend has paid an editor and proof reader. The book was apparently a third longer and was cut down. She has invested so much money and her soul in this book we all feel that we can’t say anything negative as it may upset her so much.
SpinDriftCoastal a very good idea.

Good luck to your friend. Being a writer myself , I know that a book is like a baby. You want to love and protect it. Most people recognise that and are generous in their praise.The only person who has never said one word to me about my books, has been my sister.
I hope your friend ‘s next book will be even better. It’s a steep learning curve.

Oh dear !
As this lady is spending money having books published -maybe it's best to be honest .
Hopefully she'll improve her writing .
Can she afford to lose money ?

I was asked to proof read a Japanese friend's writing and ended up re-writing the entire book . There wasn't one sentence without grammatical/spelling mistakes. It took me over a week of burning the midnight oiĺ . I had a headache at the end of it as I handed her work back .
Fortunately, she's wealthy it was just a matter of achievement with her.

I'm often asked to look at people's artwork and I find it hugely embarrassing.
When presented with something , which isn't that great -I try to indicate the good points. The colour palette is wonderful,I'll enthuse.
I've seen people set their hearts on acting ,dancing and /or singing and failing .
It's sad when they pay a great deal money for lessons.
I once sat through a play in which a relative had a bit part and she was truly appalling.
Her career has failed.

I think that the person has to realise that they aren't quite as talented as they thought they were.

Quercus

No writer ever wants a totally honest opinion, not ever, even if they say they do.
Do the 'sandwich' feedback: make positive comments about anything that even vaguely merits it, then one minor criticism, and finish on another positive note.

The forum that Quercus described as a three part method is the proper way to critique and encourage. You are but one reviewer. Be honest so that she reaches new levels with each attempt. It is not that she is good or bad. It is that you are honest and she strives to improve.

Esmay

Oh dear !
As this lady is spending money having books published -maybe it's best to be honest .
Hopefully she'll improve her writing .
Can she afford to lose money ?

I was asked to proof read a Japanese friend's writing and ended up re-writing the entire book . There wasn't one sentence without grammatical/spelling mistakes. It took me over a week of burning the midnight oiĺ . I had a headache at the end of it as I handed her work back .
Fortunately, she's wealthy it was just a matter of achievement with her.

I'm often asked to look at people's artwork and I find it hugely embarrassing.
When presented with something , which isn't that great -I try to indicate the good points. The colour palette is wonderful,I'll enthuse.
I've seen people set their hearts on acting ,dancing and /or singing and failing .
It's sad when they pay a great deal money for lessons.
I once sat through a play in which a relative had a bit part and she was truly appalling.
Her career has failed.

I think that the person has to realise that they aren't quite as talented as they thought they were.

Yes Esmay, taking down a peg or two, that's what friends do to each other

That'll learn 'em, going off enjoying themselves and trying to join in things!

The trouble with self-publishing is that there are no checks or balances as there are when a publisher has selected the work for their lists. It used to be called ‘vanity publishing’ for good reason.

I know a few people who self-publish and it’s clear why no publisher would have taken them on. They do it so that they can refer to themselves as ‘a published author’, which rather devalues the term. Not everything comes under that definition though. Some people like to write memoirs or family history, as a way of keeping memories alive for future generations - that sort of thing. They aren’t pretending to be ‘published authors’, but want their thoughts set down so that they remain relevant after the author has gone.

In the OP’s circumstances I think the important thing is to know what her friend wants from the book. Is her opinion being asked because she hopes to sell enough copies to get a second edition? Is she planning a sequel? Is she hoping a publisher will pick up her work and run with it. Feedback could concentrate on what she hopes to achieve.

I would be a lot kinder in actual feedback than I am being in this post, though. I agree that writing is very important to the author, and any snobbery about vanity publishing can be countered by the fact that JK Rowling was once self-published 😀.