How to Keep Living at Home Longer

For what it's worth this is what I'm working on to keep me at home as long as possible:

Family- for me this is the primary focus- not that I expect my family to do my physical care but steady contact now will ensure they will know when my needs change as we go along.

Friends- to keep my social life vibrant, make new friends but keep the old ones and the ones that encourage me to get out and keep active.

Self-care- to keep routine check-ups and eat healthily, get regular exercise. There is so much help on-line for this when you can't leave home you get still get your shopping delivered, and find exercise and motivation videos to keep you going! Using the inter-net to seek out labour saving devices is another tool we have.

When I bought the house I intend staying in I made sure there was a local shop, and a bus stop right across the road. From there I can get to the train station too. I have hardly ever used a taxi here to get around.
Meanwhile I can still drive myself around but know I will never buy another car.

I think it is only sensible to put these thoughts into place as I go along, but for me it is mostly people I will be focussing on. They are my greatest and most reliable resource,

My thoughts on not being able to drive have always been the same. No car = no insurance, no price of car. How long would that go on taxi fares. Probably a couple of years. Throw in bus passes, delivery’s, and lifts from others occasionally. Maybe it won’t be so bad.

I gave up my car when I moved to Bristol, when DH died.
I made sure I was near buses, shops, doctor and dentist before buying!
I bought a retirement home, and can say that in my life, I haven’t had such friendly neighbour since. I know most of their names, chat to them and know the6 would be available for minor help should I need it. I must say that I am one of the younger ones at 78 but most of them are mobile and in full possession of their marbles!
I have no idea what will happen to me once I lose either mobility or worse, my faculties.
I try to keep as mobile and healthy as possible.

Start driving again. I have a licence but haven't driven for many years. DH does all the driving.

We already have online deliveries in place, and I buy most things on Amazon so very rarely go shopping.

We have a daughter close by but don't like to bother her much as she works full time and has a family.

We have a seat and grab rail in the shower already. I can't think of anything else we could do really.

I have to use taxis if going to hospitals , they are expensive , but I gave my car up 3 years ago so I don't have tax insurance, mot's and so on ,I get my shopping delivered every week, have just had my garden sorted out. Family mow the grass , bark chips keep the weeds at bay. keep up with my friends and family, some of whom are not nearby through emails and phone. I don't find it too bad

I shall be 89 in a few weeks, have all my marbles and am healthy apart from very reduced mobility.
I have a mobility scooter for local trips and use taxis for longer outings.
I think offsetting the cost of running a car works for me.
At present my GD and her boyfriend live with me but have just had an offer accepted on a house to buy.
If all goes well they will move in August.
I have weekly grocery deliveries and shop mainly online.
When they leave I shall get a cleaner.
I have had them in the past but my GD has done her bit while here.
I have friends, mostly a few years younger than me and I go out with them often, this afternoon one is picking me up to go to a garden centre.

Last year I got rid of my dining furniture and made the room into a second sitting room, there is room for a bed when I can’t use the stairs and I have a downstairs shower room, I can be self contained when it becomes necessary.

I occasionally buy a few frozen meals from Cook so that on days when I don’t want to prepare a meal I can just stick one in the oven or microwave.

I think I live well and hope to manage for some time yet.

We have a bus route quite close by and another a short walk away off the estate. I’d much sooner take the bus into town than drive in as parking is dire, expensive and the independent car parks have charges only payable via an app which annoys me immensely as I see it as prejudicial to anyone not having a smart phone!
Our bedroom is on the ground floor and for now we can both manage the stairs. Meals are frequently batch cooked and we always have bread and milk in the freezer in case we can’t get out shopping for a few days.
We are determined to not be reliant on family although two distant relatives are having to care for someone and it’s awful to see how they’re clearly starting to struggle themselves. However, we aren’t in a position to intervene but we do offer a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on occasionally.

I hope to stay in my home for the rest of my life, all being well, unless something awful happens. I was very ill in January but have fully recovered. Things are difficult due to chronic back pain, but I have methods of dealing with it, and also take pain killers.
I'm prone to depression, but my sun lamp has helped a lot.
And I try to practise mindfullness and live in the moment.
I applied for Attendance Allowance but apparently am too healthy. I appealed but was still turned down. I simply wanted to employ a cleaner. So I bought a robot vacuum instead and it's marvellous.
I'm still driving, but mostly just locally now. I don't intend to volunteer to give it up because I would be somewhat stuck here without a car. There are bus services but not brilliant.
All in all, my life is reasonably ok. I see my family regularly which is vital for my mental health. We all get on well together and never fall out.
I have groceries delivered, including two ready meals a week.
The rest of the time I cobble meals together with short cuts.
My air fryer is a marvellous help.
I'm doing a roast today for my son who visits every Sunday. My other son took me to France for a week recently.
I'm lucky, and still enjoying life at age 88. If only I could get rid of the horrible back pain.

henetha

I hope to stay in my home for the rest of my life, all being well, unless something awful happens. I was very ill in January but have fully recovered. Things are difficult due to chronic back pain, but I have methods of dealing with it, and also take pain killers.
I'm prone to depression, but my sun lamp has helped a lot.
And I try to practise mindfullness and live in the moment.
I applied for Attendance Allowance but apparently am too healthy. I appealed but was still turned down. I simply wanted to employ a cleaner. So I bought a robot vacuum instead and it's marvellous.
I'm still driving, but mostly just locally now. I don't intend to volunteer to give it up because I would be somewhat stuck here without a car. There are bus services but not brilliant.
All in all, my life is reasonably ok. I see my family regularly which is vital for my mental health. We all get on well together and never fall out.
I have groceries delivered, including two ready meals a week.
The rest of the time I cobble meals together with short cuts.
My air fryer is a marvellous help.
I'm doing a roast today for my son who visits every Sunday. My other son took me to France for a week recently.
I'm lucky, and still enjoying life at age 88. If only I could get rid of the horrible back pain.

Henetha - it's worth getting in touch with Age Concern as they have people trained to complete Attendance Allowance forms - they know exactly what the DWP want to hear!

A couple of people I know were turned down on their first attempts which they did themselves, but both were successful when Age Concern did the forms.

I think there may be a certain amount of time you have to wait before submitting subsequent applications but it's certainly worth checking.

Thank you so much, ferry23. I appreciate your remarks.
A man from Attendance Allowance actually phoned me after I appealed against their negative decision. He pointed out to me that the clue is in the name. Attendance Allowance is apparently for people who need to have someone attend to them in their home. Help with getting in and out of bed, and with showering etc. I don't need any of those, being reasonably agile. So I think I would get turned down again.

henetha you can still claim Attendence Allowance if nobody does the caring, as long as you need the help to stay safe.

Thank you Tanith. I think I do need help, in spite of not needing carers. I'm getting unsteady on my feet now,
and also, because of back pain, cannot get down into corners of the bathroom to clean properly etc.
I think it might be an idea to seek help again, using Age Concern.

Best wishes henetha. Let us know how you get on if you decide to ask Age Concern for assistance with filling out the AA forms. Hope you will be 'third time lucky '.

henetha your back pain must also make it unsafe/painful to bend to wash legs and feet as you are unsteady so absolutely you do need the help.

Most Citizens Advice have people who are very able to help filling out AA forms. I used to to complete them and it is essential the claimant does describe their worst days. We forget the struggles that become everyday - not being to open jars and bottles and having to wait for a caller to do it. Getting someone to put the fitted bottom sheet on the bed, only using low cupboards as unable to stand on kitchen steps, unable to open blister packed to get pills. Just having a wash as you cannot get out of the bath, only eating ready meals because you cannot cut up an onion or turn on the oven as hands have no strength. The list can be long if you think over your activities compared to years ago.

dogsmother

My thoughts on not being able to drive have always been the same. No car = no insurance, no price of car. How long would that go on taxi fares. Probably a couple of years. Throw in bus passes, delivery’s, and lifts from others occasionally. Maybe it won’t be so bad.

Those were very much my thoughts too, added to me not living too far to walk into town. These last couple of months have shown how things change over time and the distance has grown six years longer than when I moved in

It's also the case that it's probably impossible to get everything you want so, if people are looking, they need to weight the things that will be important to them.

henetha

Thank you so much, ferry23. I appreciate your remarks.
A man from Attendance Allowance actually phoned me after I appealed against their negative decision. He pointed out to me that the clue is in the name. Attendance Allowance is apparently for people who need to have someone attend to them in their home. Help with getting in and out of bed, and with showering etc. I don't need any of those, being reasonably agile. So I think I would get turned down again.

That is simply not true hentha. What they are looking for is whether a reasonable person would say you need help, reminders, watching over, or assistance — even if you currently cope alone. You need to mention all forms of assistance. Your "assistance" may be a person or a bed rail if you have difficulty getting out of bed, a robot or a person if you can't clean.

Many successful claims come from the need for supervision/watching over you. Even if you can physically do something but need reminders, encouragement, prompting, or someone to check on you it can count.

Hallo, dutiful dahghter here! Well in theory but I live at least e hours frommy feistybut aged Mum who has developing Alzheimers. Brother lives nearby but is better in an emergency than visting very often, hes busy. I have a Ring indoor video camera in Mums sitting room.
Its triggered by movement and sends a flash update to my phone, so I knows shes alive without even having to look! I can also look in on her and even talk through the camera. Its not two way video sadly but I'm thinking of having one in reverse, too! Its reassuring, as long as she hasnt turned it off again!

part of my planning for when I have to give up my motability car (which is a god-send) is then to have a motability scooter from them.
all I have to do is have the cost of the scooter deducted from my dla and motability do everything else apart from charge the scooter.
I had a motability scooter some years ago and they insured it and serviced it every year and did any repairs if there were any.
the one I had broke down into several parts so it could go into the boot of my own car. so it was very handy.
I might even see if I could buy a small scooter while i've still got my motability car which would cover every eventuality before opting for a much larger one later.
however unless you are disabled you would have to buy a scooter - recently a secondhand one would cost just under £2,000 but with a 25- ish mile range it is worth the outlay.

If you wnt to stay at home longer make sure you never need to be admitted to hospital. If you are do not let them discharge you to a care home even if they say it is for rehab. Tell them you will be discharged home and rehabed at home.

I have a list of the local care company which will send me a helper, where to hire a hospital bed from if I should need one and the NHS says they have not got one, which company will deliver frozen meals etc. In the house I have a folding toilet frame and a perching chair. For admission tohospital i have a spare phone charger, tooth brush, night dress etc. I alredy have heave a key safe with a house key in it.

This is going to sound a bit grim but I'm going to say it anyway.
Keep old friends close, but make new ones too. Because old friends may move away nearer family, may become ill or demented, may die. It happens.

Lupatria I have thought I would look at mobility scooters if I couldn't drive - my walking won't get better. The one thing I keep thinking is that it's not so great in bad weather but I'm sure there are ways round that!

Romola you are right, much though we don't want to think of these changes.

I asked AI about comparative costs. I found this interesting.

Care at home is often cheaper than a care home, particularly for couples, those needing low-level support, or when avoiding expensive 24-hour residential fees. Government support (local authority) is available if you have assets below £23,250. NHS funding is available for significant health needs regardless of assets.

When Care at Home is Cheaper:
• Lower Support Needs: Hourly home care is significantly cheaper than residential care if you only need a few hours of support per day.
• Couples: When a couple lives together, it is often more cost-effective to have care tailored to both individuals at home rather than paying for two residential beds.
• Assets and Home Value: If you receive care at home, your home is not included in the financial assessment, preserving it.
• Live-in Care Limits: Even full-time live-in care can be cheaper or comparable to a nursing home, depending on your location and the provider.
When the Government (Local Authority) pays Local authority funding is based on a means test:
• Capital below £14,250: You will pay what you can afford from your income, but the council may pay for the rest.
• Capital between £14,250 and £23,250: You will pay what you can afford from your income, plus a portion of your capital.
• Capital over £23,250: You are usually responsible for the full cost of your care, known as self-funding.
Note: In 2026, the upper capital limit remains at £23,250.
Other Funding Sources:
• NHS Continuing Healthcare (CHC): A non-means-tested package funded by the NHS for people with a primary health need, which can be used for care at home.
• Attendance Allowance: For those over state pension age, not means-tested, helping with costs to stay independent.
• Personal Independence Payment (PIP): For people under state pension age who need extra help.
• NHS Funded Nursing Care (FNC): A flat rate paid by the NHS towards nursing care if you are in a care home.
How to Get Support:
• Request a Care Needs Assessment: Contact your local council social services for an assessment to determine what care you need, which is free.
• Request a Financial Assessment: If you have low savings, the council will assess what you can afford to pay.
• Check for NHS Funding: Ask for an NHS Continuing Healthcare assessment.

*DaisyAnneReturs. Attendance Allowance if you can't clean! I just can't be bothered, perhaps it's some form of dementia as used to love cleaning. Of course nothing to do with realising life is too short and I have more interesting things to do. Will keep it in mind though, even the lowest rate would be acceptable.

I only paid £500 for my mobility scooter, which I found second hand on Facebook. It had hardly been used! I did have to get it collected from the seller, but I could no doubt have arranged to have it collected and delivered for £100 or so more.