Things that only happen in soap operas

You look amazing, even the 1st min after waking up

When something comes up you can just walk out of work with no questions asked.
Houses have elastic walls because from the outside they are small 2 up, 2 downs but loads of people live there.
Football is hardly ever spoken about, not even in the pub.

When someone feels unwell they walk into the health centre and are seen immediately without an appointment.

You can take in umpteen lodgers to live in your small house and never be overcrowded.

Children always play quietly upstairs, or they're on a sleepover or anywhere else with anyonelse. This includes toddlers and babies - in fact the younger children are the less bothersome and intrusive they are on mum and dad's life.

The children have the best dental hygiene in the country. They are never seen as they’re always upstairs brushing their teeth.

If you want to discuss something really, really private you go to the caff or the pub!!

No one is ever out of work for more than a day, There,s always a “job going in our place”. Although children are always told to
Wash your hands. You never see them actually doing it ,

Always ‘having a brew’ and often seen eating a slice of toast.

Baskets of washing abound, never sure if they are waiting to be washed, hung out to dry, waiting to be ironed or simply put away.

When you move to a new area you never ever visit your family again. You don't even turn up for your mum's funeral, your twin brother's wedding, or to see your sister whose in hospital at death's door.

If you have a deep dark secret to share with a friend always chose to do it while washing your hands in the pub toilet. The person you really don’t want to hear about it will be in one of the cubicles and hear every word ?

Got one! Someone who disappeared and was thought to have died, has a massive memorial service,and then turns up again,alive.

Clothes are always just there as if by magic and fit perfectly, sometimes without the use of a mirror to check the fitting.

Your job will never take up a huge proportion of your day. There's always time for family feuds, illicit affairs, gossip in the corner shop and pints in the pub.

Whenever the adults want a private chat, the children are always told to go up and play in their bedrooms - and the children always comply without any argument whatsoever!

There's always a corner shop that sells everything you could possibly need, and it's open nearly all the time.

Excellent stuff

Someone comes out of their house if someone knocks. They are obviously in their house alone. They slam the door shut with no sign of a key to get back in.

They know what time to meet in the pub or cafe without arranging it beforehand.

People pick a new career and become qualified almost overnight and get a posting near where they live.

I don't watch any soaps and haven't for a long time, but from what I remember, babies were always born on Christmas day, similarly divorces were announced then too. Characters would always find their partners from a very small pool of people, often on the same street, like they never met anyone else Neighbours walked in and out of each others houses, maybe that is the case in some areas, or back in times gone past, I've certainly never left my front door unlocked.

People in soaps never watch soaps.

Oh and if you happen to meet the local doctor, he/she always happy to discuss a patient's problems symptoms anywhere, anytime.

They can carry on a normal conversation whilst in a club.

Fully loaded goods trains can derail off a viaduct, crash into the street below, kill a couple of locals (who have a pretty low profile anyway) and within 3 weeks, all the debris will have been cleared up, none of the houses damaged and life will carry on, with no mention of it, for the next 40 years.