Things that only happen in soap operas

People emote ALL THE TIME (INCLUDING SHOUTING!!) instead of having a normal conversation. Must be exhausting!

Everyone, young and old, drinks in the same pub every night.
As soon as some average employee is promoted from the factory floor to the office their IQ and business nous goes up by 50% and they are wheeling and dealing and reading complicated financial reports as if born to it.

Not a soap fan. But in dramas, I am always amazed by the private conversations that take place in hospital or school corridors with people about. Surely not.

Their social life revolves around each other

Callistemon21

Thanks nanna8 ?

Where did the farm go to in Emmerdale?

One Xmas I was with my boys having a walk round Harewood. I commented that I’d never been to a pub on Xmas day and wouldn’t it be nice. A few minutes later I spied a pub over the wall ! Great excitement until I realised it was the Woolpack set

Aussie soap report:

Walking to work or from one place to another always involves walking along the beach. People are always bumping into each other on the beach, where they end up discussing life.

If someone is in the hospital and needs some fresh air they end up walking on the beach even though it's not near the hospital.

The beach has a lot of surfers and there used to be a team of young life guards, but now they have just one elderly chap with a dicky heart who rides along the beach in a buggy. Someone nearly drowned and he was nowhere to be seen, someone else pulled him out.

You can have all your organs transplanted and end up in a bed in the side room at the studio with a tube hanging out of the bed and be home by tea time - and it’s never mentioned again.

It only takes about a week to complete the conveyancing and get moved when buying or selling a house or business.

Aussie soap report again:
European capitals seem to be their dream destination. When someone says they're going to London or Paris you know they will never be seen again.

When they want to get away for a few days they always go to 'the city' or 'along the coast' but never say where this is.

Serendipity22

Everyone has amazing, superman hearing

They can hear a conversation from 1 end of the street to the other......

Aussie soap report:
The opposite applies in Aussie soaps (maybe because they're upside down). They often talk privately about someone whilst in the same room but the person cannot hear them.

Thanks nanna8 ?

Where did the farm go to in Emmerdale?

That is lovely Callistemon and I hope you can get over here soon to see family.
Cops want to talk privately so they get a seat in the crowded local pub and spill it. In real life they would lose their jobs.GPS treat just about everything and never refer on to specialists. Lately there is so much red paint/tomato ketchup everywhere when someone is murdered. Must take a fair bit of cleaning up, hoses at the ready!

There is only one police officer who attends everything, and only one nurse who seems to work on every ward in the hospital.

Oh and of course they live near everyone else.

People only have relationships with their neighbours, chopping and changing to such an extent that we’ve forgotten who slept with who.

Why do we watch?
A bit of undemanding escapism I guess, and in some cases the quality of acting can be superb and often moving, especially when sad topics like the death of a child is covered.

People leave their home and go to the caff to buy a tea to take away.

Callistemom21

I am currently watching the original Dallas on AppleTV years after I saw it the first time.I have just got past The Dream Sequence!
Other soaps have seem to have taken inspiration from this in bringing back dead characters, like Kathy in EE but somehow have got round using the death as another character's dream.
In fact EE have done with Den as well, then Max who was buried alive managed to get out of his grave with no ill effects.

Lucca! I love it. (Mustn't cry!)
This was for a special birthday too

Callistemon21

Chestnut

Aussie soap report again:
People always arrive unexpectedly, they never phone or text to say they're coming. That includes people who caught an earlier flight than expected.
When there's a fancy dress party everyone wears the most lavish and amazing outfits even with just a few hours' notice.
Those who never seem to work or have unprofitable jobs live in the biggest houses and drive flashy cars, while the professional people with good jobs live in the caravan park.

OMG Chestnut
In RL no-one ever arrives at an Aussie house without a plate of home-cooked goodies!!

Aussie soap report again:
Although DD did that once. She phoned and said "Get the kettle on, Dad" and he said "I would if you were here". And there she was.

That has made me cry. Sorry.

Totally made me cry too.

I turned up at DS 40th birthday party in Sydney, unannounced.
“What the hell are you doing here ?” ?

Elizabeth27

Rarely will you give birth in a hospital, it will more likely happen in a car or the back room of a pub.

Sometimes without even taking your tights off (Daphne in a classic Neighbours episode).

Sometimes you can even come back to life after being dead for years.
Pinkprincess ?
You have to go for a long shower first

People start out as perfectly normal functioning human beings - again looking at you Tracey Barlow but also at Kim Tate, Tod from Coronation Street etc- and for no apparent reason evolve into evil psychopaths with no moral compass.

They never have to go to the toilet so that the phone never rings just when they are past the point of no return...

If they decide to have a pantomime they plan it some time in November and have the whole thing written, cast and rehearsed in time for performance before Christmas.

You can literally get away with murder (looking at you Tracey Barlow) and instead of being run out of town and spending the rest of your life living under an assumed name, you are absorbed back into the community as if nothing happened.

No one ever watches television, certainly not soap operas, popular comedy shows or big sporting events.

Rarely will you give birth in a hospital, it will more likely happen in a car or the back room of a pub.

Everyone has amazing, superman hearing

They can hear a conversation from 1 end of the street to the other......