Advice on Memorial events

A Garden Party?
That’s an original idea and I shall be interested to see what suggestions people come up with.
You could play safe with navy and white?
(Presumably she is not going over the 30 people limit?)

Sorry that should read “He”

Ask him! Tell him what you have told us and that you want to respect his wishes.

We went to a friends and family garden party in celebration of my brother in law’s life. Thankfully before COVID but because he’d wanted his body donated to science there wasn’t the usual funeral. It was absolutely lovely, people dressed as they would for for any happy occasion and talked and reminisced and laughed and remembered him for the sociable and cheerful person that he was.

At my friends funeral it was all family attending. All her friends understood this was the only way it could be.
Her husband arranged a lovely get together in their garden for all her friends.
As for what to wear hamster What would you normally wear to a gathering of friends. It’s not the funeral or a wake.

We were at a memorial last Sunday for our dear friend.
It was a summer BBQ and everyone dressed for a summer BBQ.
It was a wonderful day

We are going to one at the end of July and been advised to wear what we like.

Summer dresses seem to be mostly blue this year, so that’s what I would wear.

Wear something you feel comfortable in; I went to an 'un-religious' funeral where we were instructed to wear bright clothing so I wore a turquoise shirt and brown/ turquoise skirt, but it just felt wrong.
I would go for a pretty summer dress, not too bright.

I would ask, and if you don't feel able to go, then no mourning but not gaudy.
We asked for folk to wear bright colours for my mum, who loved them.
My favourite funeral direction was 'come dressed as if you were spending time with X'. Folk came in walking gear, surf shorts, and I wore my pinny as I had cooked for him often!

Thank you all for your advice and experiences. I think I’ll be opting for a nice dress that works with the weather that day, not dreary in colour but not too gaudy either….Grannyrose I liked the instructions ‘wear what you would to be with X’, and especially your choice!!

Sorry I meant Nannarose, my apologies…

There is no tradition of 'garden party memorial events' to worry about. Just be smart and comfortable.

I too would wear a lovely summer dress. It's a lovely idea to have a garden party in her memory.

We had memorial services in the church for both mum and dad separately, 18 months after Dad died, and 6 months after mum, with a burial of ashes. There were lots of flowers and memories read.
We held a garden party afterwards and gave a buffet for my cousins and relatives. I asked them to wear smart casual, as we had already held small funerals during lock down. My dad loved bright colours, so I wore a red summer dress and jacket. It was a celebration rather than a funeral.

When my mum died, she had left strict instructions no one should accompany her to the crem, but there should be a service of remembrance to celebrate her life, followed by a garden party with a jazz band and string quartet with dancing. It was April so we spent most of the time in the marquee's for warmth. Most people wore discreet colours with a dash of colour to add brightness, but only wore black if they particularly wanted to.

I agree with MawB.

We had similar event after my husband's death. We called it a memorial reception but as I explained in my speech, it was actually a memorial cocktail party because that's what he really enjoyed. People tended to dress in dark colours but not black.

I have no experience of a celebration garden party but a couple of years ago I attended a friend's Cremation, the instruction was "bright clothing", she loved colour. Every-one wore bright colours & I've never seen such a display of Hawaiian shirts in one place, a most joyous send off.

I would choose a nice summer dress, I love colour but go with what you are comfortable with

If you don't feel you can phone and ask your friend's husband what he thinks, or realise that like most men he has no idea about the implications of clothes, I think you should wear whatever fits your own criterion of smart and respectful.

If you have anything in your wardrobe that your friend admired at any time, you could wear that perhaps - obviously not if it was a swim-suit, but you know what I mean.

Feel your anxiety here. We are attending funeral on Friday for my husbands brother in law. When he asked his sister about clothing, she replied that her daughter is insisting on wearing black herself but it wasn’t expected from everyone! Mixed messages here, although I wouldn’t have worn all black, it has made me nervous about “how much colour”. Now madly looking for a navy/white dress…or maybe black trousers and a subdued top……
Note to self……remind all of my family to wear whatever they feel comfortable in, and preferably bright!

Legs55

I have no experience of a celebration garden party but a couple of years ago I attended a friend's Cremation, the instruction was "bright clothing", she loved colour. Every-one wore bright colours & I've never seen such a display of Hawaiian shirts in one place, a most joyous send off.

I would choose a nice summer dress, I love colour but go with what you are comfortable with

we did this for my Mother on her instructions. The coffin was hand made wickerwork and the hearse was bright shocking pink. Everyone wore their brightest winter clothes. The men who chose to wear suits work jazzy ties.

I agree, ask your friends husband if you're unsure, but sounds like a lovely summery dress would be the idea (weather permitting).
I attended the funeral of a really good friend a few years ago. She left instructions for us to wear bright colours. The church was full of colours, so beautiful.
She had a white cardboard coffin. She left instructions for us to write her a message ?
It was such a lovely thought.

I would wear a muted and gentle colour probably injected by a flash of a something coordinated but bright by way of a scarf or necker. Do you perhaps know your acquaintance's favourite colour?