Hello all, usual good wishes!
Well, as the OP says, I truly do love him, but wish:
He would wipe his feet (a mat is in place) and not leave prints everywhere
Not be so damn clumsy! Things on the table should stay on the table!
He would not make such a mess with his food 
he is surely old enough to be able to eat without making a mess!
Not interfere with the way the curtains hang, they are fine as they are.
Leave the cushions on the sofa alone, ditto the last 6 words above.
Refrain from bringing home things that he thinks I might be pleased with, which I then have to tactfully dispose of.
Feel the need for displays of affection at odd hours of the night, when I was happily asleep. 
Make such a big thing of blatantly washing your (ahem) nether regions when we have company.
Oliver Sprout, you are a dear cat, and we do love you, but there is room for improvement!
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I guessed it was the cat!!! 
Quite relieved really when reading the penultimate paragraph. 
You were right too Phoenix.
merlot Please don't.
I was echoing/agreeing with you up until the "displays of affection" (we sleep in different rooms) and then relieved as I continued to read that it was your cat!!
Thanks for a chirpy post
Got a bit worried at washing his nether regions in public
Brilliant, you had me fooled until the very end!
Made me chuckle Phoenix and why do my dogs fart whilst sitting near a visitor. I see the the guest's face change and realise what's happening
I'm a bit disappointed phoenix I was trying to imagine Mr.P washing his nether regions in company and wondering exactly how he would do it. I had a lot of help making the bed this morning (it involved a lot of claws!) and I usually get a smack on the face at 6am because somebody wants a snack.
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