Roadside memorials

I think people do some strange things in memory of their loved ones.
If it brings them comfort and harms nobody then I would leave them to it.

I find it difficult to understand most of it, to be honest.

Not that new as before I retired 12 yrs ago I drove past a roadside memorial everyday for at least 10 yrs it was where a GPO engineer working at the roadside was killed by a lorry. His family must of drawn comfort from replacing the flowers weekly for all that time.
It’s not something I would do but others have their own way of dealing with grief.

I agree with everything you’ve said.

We live on a busy unlit main road where there have been five fatalities in the last few years three of which have roadside memorials which every so often are attended and renewed.I don't mind them and it helps me to think about the families of those who died.They were all young men in their twenties and very much loved.We have petitioned for lighting but it has been rejected by the Council on the grounds that none of the accidents happened where the houses are and so accidents will continue to happen.I believe these memorials make people think and it helps them to focus their thoughts around a particular tree etc.

A distraction to motorists.

There was a long discussion on this recently:

www.gransnet.com/forums/aibu/1250659-Permanent-Memorials-at-Roadside-Accident-Spots

Many floral tributes are placed by friends and by people from the community where the dead person lived. I didn’t
like it when flowers were placed on the bridge where my elder daughter jumped but accepted it meant something to those who placed them, I wouldn’t, but it does no harm .

I think it all started around the time of the death of Diana,
floral tributes piling up, and that was about 22 years ago.
I haven’t noticed as many as there were a few years ago though.
The only bad thing about the memorials really is that they are a distraction on some dangerous roads, bends etc.

I understand them immediately after the death, but feel very queasy when they go on and get repeated on anniversaries. I think that should not be allowed for all the road safety and other reasons people have mentioned.

I agree MOnica , family and friends will have a grave or a place where ashes have been scattered to lay flowers for anniversaries

My elderly mother strongly dislikes & disapproves of this trend.
I think if it helps the families & friends & it’s flowers then that’s fine, I’m not sure about beer cans etc, but then if it brings comfort what’s the harm.

I know of one where the parents have replaced the flowers at the point where their daughter was killed literally hundreds of times. Always fresh flowers.

On another road there is a spot where there is a dirty, faded Manchester United flag which is all tattered at the edges and flapping. The flowers are long dead and just look awful. This is no longer a tribute to the man who was killed there.

I'm sure at the time it brought great comfort to the family to visit the spot where their loved one died, but when they have fallen into a bad state perhaps it would be appropriate for the council to remove them.

There was one by a tree on the road my grandsons live on. I used to hate the thought of them having to see it every day when they went to school. It wasn't an accident blackspot or anything, so it served no purpose as a warning to drivers. It was where a motorcyclist hit a tree. Very sad, but I didn't like it inflicted on GSs.

It's a different thing if it's on a busy road where accidents have happened. It's a warning then.

i think it is fabulous and most kind

makes me grateful to be alive

and think of those who have lost someone

Good point andy.

My son's friend was killed in a car accident, on a stretch of road that is bordered on both sides, by wide grass verges. His family planted swathes of daffodils and narcissi bulbs on both side of the road that his car skidded on, and eventually came to rest on. Every spring, for the past umpteen years, that stretch of road is a joy to see. And I think of Michael every time I see them.

Chewbacca what a lovely idea. I don't wish to disrespect anyone's grief, but I do hate to see faded teddy bears and tatty remains of flowers and cellophane, I think their neglect is very sad, almost as if the person has been forgotten.

I love the idea of spring bulbs being planted-it’s a living memorial year after year. I’m just not sure why the focus of grief has turned from the cemetery or gardens of remembrance. An increasingly secular society perhaps?

I understand when grief is fresh, but hate to see faded and neglected memorials roadside. And I have voiced my opinion to my family if ever.....

I do find it strange that people need to gather at the scene of a crime or accident, but then it is very hard to put oneself in another's shoes and understand grief when it happens traumatically.

Planted bulbs is a wonderful idea.

There is a stretch of dual carriageway here where there have been a number of fatal accidents over the years all teenagers/early 20's. There are bunches of flowers left regularly at about 4 spots (and lots of daffodils planted), within a couple hundred yards. Last week I noticed one place where two teenage lads died there is now a small memorial plaque, standing in the ground and about 12" high. Don't like the idea of that starting to become the norm.

It isn’t actually new an acquaintance s daughter was killed about 30 years ago in a road accident there were flowers and things put by the tree where the accident happen then likewise not far from my house at least 20 to 25 years ago a girl biker was killed on the road and there were a lot if flowers which are subsequently put on every year, on the anniversary
My friends daughter died at 16 and they have a bench in the local park always with fresh flowers on it
When I was on holiday in Newquay about ten years back I noticed along by the surfer areas there were many benches and flowers in honour of surfers
I quite like the idea

Yes I think the planted bulbs are a lovely idea. I don't like the roadside memorials etc.

such moving posts I thank you

I am so glad to be here

I love to think of good things and rememberence

[flower]

a grateful hug to those on this forum thread