Roadside memorials

I agree NK.Tragically a young student was killed near us 3 years on there are soggy teddies and shrivelled balloons from the last big lot left .It covers yards of railings.How long is it appropriate to leave so much without tidying up ?Another young person died locally years ago and his parents asked permission to plant out an old horse trough with bulbs and small shrubs.It is beautiful and I always think of him and their terrible loss.

Free free sodapop to muscle in on other people’s grief if it means that much to you then

I’ve seen memorial benches with flower pots in the arms. They’re a lovely idea.

What I don’t like is people laying flowers but not bothering to unwrap them, leaving them hidden inside the cellophane. On roadsides this doesn’t get cleared away but ends up with all the other rubbish and litter. It doesn’t seem ‘fit’ somehow. Not a good memorial.

In our local botanic gardens there are lots of benches with plaques to say whose memory they honour. A seat is always welcome. However, recently we've noticed new ones appearing which seem to have space for flowers built into their arms. Sometimes we see ones which are decorated with flowers. I assume families place them there on anniversaries. Seems like a nice sort of thing to do.

I have a small memorial plaque in memory of my parents situated in my back garden, I have planted bulbs nearby, that means more to me that visiting the crematorium.

People can also hold their opinions Anja

well said anja

I like to light a candle and be grateful

Good post Anja

People should be free to express their grief. It’s not up to others to say what is wrong or right, or worse still it looks ‘untidy’

It’s very personal.

Urmstongran just explaining why I think what matters with the flowers laid where someone has lost their life is they are placed with sorrow, sympathy , a display of caring
And this is what matters. When I use to go to Church I would light a candle.

I find crosses and permanent memorials by the side of the road moving and thought provoking. It makes me slow down, say a little prayer and be grateful for my own life.

I don't like the cellophane and dead flowers though. There's a tree by the main road near here which just has the remains of some tatty cellophane pinned to it. The flowers disintegrated a couple of years ago.

That's so sad Jane10.

Your post has to be the most heartbreaking I have read in a long while Anniebach
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A young lad crashed his car into a big tree on a road near us. It happened many years ago. DH and I remember it happening. Someone, maybe his mum, planted lots of crocuses all round the tree. They're just beginning to come out now. Everyone thinks they're lovely but there are few of us left who remember why they were planted. Maybe that's OK though. The flowers will keep blooming in the Spring.

nice post's andycameron69!

Why don’t people take the flowers out from the wrapping around them when they leave them. Sometimes all you can see is a lot of florist wrapping paper with maybe just the tops of the heads of the flowers showing.

a grateful hug to those on this forum thread

such moving posts I thank you

I am so glad to be here

I love to think of good things and rememberence

[flower]

Yes I think the planted bulbs are a lovely idea. I don't like the roadside memorials etc.

It isn’t actually new an acquaintance s daughter was killed about 30 years ago in a road accident there were flowers and things put by the tree where the accident happen then likewise not far from my house at least 20 to 25 years ago a girl biker was killed on the road and there were a lot if flowers which are subsequently put on every year, on the anniversary
My friends daughter died at 16 and they have a bench in the local park always with fresh flowers on it
When I was on holiday in Newquay about ten years back I noticed along by the surfer areas there were many benches and flowers in honour of surfers
I quite like the idea

There is a stretch of dual carriageway here where there have been a number of fatal accidents over the years all teenagers/early 20's. There are bunches of flowers left regularly at about 4 spots (and lots of daffodils planted), within a couple hundred yards. Last week I noticed one place where two teenage lads died there is now a small memorial plaque, standing in the ground and about 12" high. Don't like the idea of that starting to become the norm.

I understand when grief is fresh, but hate to see faded and neglected memorials roadside. And I have voiced my opinion to my family if ever.....

I do find it strange that people need to gather at the scene of a crime or accident, but then it is very hard to put oneself in another's shoes and understand grief when it happens traumatically.

Planted bulbs is a wonderful idea.

I love the idea of spring bulbs being planted-it’s a living memorial year after year. I’m just not sure why the focus of grief has turned from the cemetery or gardens of remembrance. An increasingly secular society perhaps?

Chewbacca what a lovely idea. I don't wish to disrespect anyone's grief, but I do hate to see faded teddy bears and tatty remains of flowers and cellophane, I think their neglect is very sad, almost as if the person has been forgotten.

My son's friend was killed in a car accident, on a stretch of road that is bordered on both sides, by wide grass verges. His family planted swathes of daffodils and narcissi bulbs on both side of the road that his car skidded on, and eventually came to rest on. Every spring, for the past umpteen years, that stretch of road is a joy to see. And I think of Michael every time I see them.