My friend’s husband is full of self-importance

Just be glad it’s not you married to him!

A good point there MawBroon!

But yes we too know of a few whom are never happier than when they completely over ride the conversation to expound in great detail their own achievements,elaborated to the hilt, and totally blocking our attempts at moving on............So infuriating and I do believe they worsen with age.
In fact I have quietly wondered could there be some dementia factor lurking within them?

Just a thought but if he's suddenly changed and is often repeating himself could he be showing the beginning signs of dementia? Of course it could just be he's totally bored with his life now and likes living in the past and taking everyone who listens back with him

Perhaps you could all start making jokes about it - if he starts to tell a story you have heard before, complete it for him and laugh. It could be he is uncomfortable with long silences so talks to fill them.

Is that kind?
We can all drone on a bit, repeating ourselves and retelling (boring) anecdotes.
But is it kind to make fun of him?

we have an old friend ,retired,who always says it'll be the last time we....buy a new washing m/c
change our car
decorate the kitchen etc etc etc
That would be fine if her was 80 or even 70 but he's in his mid fifties!!!Drives me nuts.I'm nearly 10 years older than him ,have less of a pension and it certainly wont be the last time I do ANTHING .

Snap Willow500.......obviously thinking alike.
Hence all the more important to think kindly, because indeed very often........"There but for the grace of god go I"........we cannot hear ourselves but I could guess we too may be guilty of something similar at some points in our lives.
A case of "Live and let live",though annoying at the time!

Perhaps he keeps repeating work related stories because that's how he identifies himself. Now he's retired he's just himself without a 'job title' IYSWIM. He may feel a bit lost and so clings to what he used to be.

It sounds as though he has nothing much in his life now to interest him, if he talks constantly about his glory days. Just be kind, and nod in the appropriate places.

And suggests he volunteers to make use of his expertise!

It's probably that he's got nothing else to talk about . I think I'd feel sorry for him.
Be a good friend and tolerate it without passing comment.

My H is the same and has been since we were about.... twenty one?

The material is pretty stale by now but I have an excellent “listening” face and that along with a few “oh”s and “really”s seems to do the trick.

I learned early that it is crucial to avoid indicating you have heard the story before or even worse, incautiously blurting out the ending yourself

There are one or two things which could be happening....he possibly has the start of dementia (only if he repeats other things too and has other symptoms), or he really misses his job and hasn't found anything else to fill the void. OR he's a boring bloke and someone needs to say "Yes, you've told us that lots of time" and "Oh, I remember the end to this story" Be blunt if he is actually boring.

What makes you think you are immune to this, or indeed any of us, OP

Indeed, Maw. Surely we’ve all got halfway through telling a fascinating tale and seen the other person’s eyes glaze over (or that he’s simply wandered off to make a cuppa)? No? Perhaps that’s just me then.

Get him to join Gransnet!
If he hasn't got a sense of that antidote called humour, he soon will have.

I could with some company! We'd have a ball!

Ta-Ra and Good Health

Yes, I was at a party not all that long ago and thought Hmm I’m even boring myself........

Rufus, there are other men on this site! You are not alone!

At the beginning of a conversation I have started to say ‘I may have told you this already. ‘ Im not sure if this means I’m ok or that I know I’m not, so by using what I perceive to be a smart tactic am I fooling myself , hoping no one will notice that I am not ?

Go to www.gransnet.com/forums/grandads_shed Rufus . That is where the Grandads go when they want to hide from the grandmas.

They also post all over Gransnet too, when they feel like it.

Bridgeit yes,we say this too, it gives people the opportunity to say ‘oh yes,I remember you saying that’.
The fact is, nobody remembers much about what a friend or relative tells them over the years ( unless it’s really memorable....and DH does have a few of those!)

Vicky it is very difficult for you, but if they have been good friends, and you like them, I guess you have to consider it his little foible?
If not, you have to find reasons to see less of them as time goes on.

Well if it annoys you that much I don’t know how you ve managed holidays with them
As you ve let it ‘wash ove4 you’ and the wife’s done the same he ll never know he’s being a boring old fart will he ?
Don’t know how you can all have so much fun if he’s full of his own importance and always bleating on without much care or compassion for others

I agree with squiffy this repetition of past glories sounds like someone bereaved and lacking self esteem.