My friend’s husband is full of self-importance

Ah yes the art of conversation. I do think as you get older you are less likely to pick up on cues and are more likely to make inapproriate remarks.
Some people do drone on. Particularly teachers and health visitors but that's why they were good at their jobs.
I do think this retired husband may be struggling with his perceived diminished status. It may be kind to listen to him and ask him some questions then steer the conversation to something else.

Rufus2 if you are posting something which you think might offend, is the onus not on you rather than the reader?
What in some areas is passed off as “Banter” can also be offensive, sexist, and frankly inappropriate.

“seaside postcard” / “ooh Matron” type

Strewth!
When I was younger we spent our holidays every year in Blackpool prior to WW2 and I thought then that all the postcards you refer to, displayed all along the promenade, were funny. They must have transplanted into my DNA!, because I can still recall them; still funny!
You feared you'd killed off the thread so I went into mourning. I was fascinated, but sad it was ending!

Now that I'm getting to understand you better, can I suggest you avert your eyes on any post headed Rufus2? And please don't say I'm patronising you!
That way we can continue to live in peace and harmony!
Ta-Ra and Good Health

Your comment that “arguing can make you lose control of everything” was inappropriate schoolboy humour and frankly unwelcome. Nobody else read that inference but you.
That is precisely what I mean.
I should prefer you to keep such comments to yourself.
Your comment about “mourning the Knickers thread “was clearly meant to be suggestive, as I recall you had misunderstood the point and tone of the thread.
As I said, there’s appropriate and there’s not.
As for a sense of humour, the “seaside postcard” / “ooh Matron” type you seem to favour has two disadvantages
It is rarely inoffensive and it is rarely funny.

Oh dear Rufus2 trust you to put an unsavoury spin on things.
Oh dear MawBroon. I'm disappointed with you!
We must be reading from different prayer books because I fail to see where I've put "an unsavoury spin on things", whatever those "things" are.! Unless you're going on about Aussie cricket.
I can't remember touching on anything, salacious or otherwise. about ladies garments and the "trust you" remark I find very disappointing. But no doubt you'll produce evidence if it exists.
I appreciate your compassion about Anniebach and I express my sympathy to her now that I understand her difficulty.
As they say, "the problem with having a sense of humour is often that people you use it on aren't always in a good mood."
And as you may have gathered, I'm always looking for a bit of inoffensive humour; not always easy; otherwise what's the point.?

Good Health
Ta-Ra

And that's not

Oh dear Rufus2 trust you to put an unsavoury spin on things.
As for the “Knickers” thread (which was about Anniebach at last gaining a tiny bit of weight despite serious gastric problems and not really about underwear in that salacious way)I don’t think you can lay that at my door.
There’s appropriate and there’s not.

My DH is usually very quiet and doesn’t “do” small talk. However if someone happens upon one of his “pet” subjects (Engineering or Motor racing) he quite honestly doesn’t know when enough is enough and goes on and on until you can almost see people’s eyes glazing over.

Poor man seems like he has lost his way in retirement. Why not suggest he joins the local green bowls club. It is great fun, he will make new friends, keep fit and no doubt have some fresh tales to regale.

I have a dear friend I met through work 30 years ago. We used to speak on the phone and he had about 10 years ago, started to speak 95% of the conversation, dominating it. I know he is lonely so I would express ‘’ ah’s’’ and ‘’ I see’s’’ liberally throughout the hour long conversations.

To cut a long story short, we now chat on WhatsApp instead. I still am in listening mode but it’s not as stressful as a one way phone conversation.

As MawBroon says just be very glad you are not married to him and have to hear him going on every day. Feel sorry for your friend.

In our case subtle does not do it and if you have the energy you have to shout! It is a bit like being run over by a steam roller so you just have to laugh instead or else you cry. Just as well that we are very fond of our friend and our garrulous relative because that is just the way they are and clearly will never change! Would we really want them to?

Bridgeit a good idea, I have tried most “subtle” interruptions. We recently met a lovely couple on holiday, but after the first night when he held forth, despite me trying to nip in a question or two to try and get a conversation going, we never saw them again! The really annoying thing is that he thinks it’s been a great evening, and is unreasonably pleased with himself.

I am wondering how often you see your friends vickymeldrew (love your name!)?

The thing is there are SO many topics of conversation between friends surely, your respective holidays, current affairs, any home improvements you have both done, gardens and plants to discuss.

It seems strange to me that this friend has to keep reverting back to the same old stories. I think I would go with a polite 'yes I know, you have told us that story before' and then leap in with your own topic.

I can imagine how irritating his behaviour must be though.

I mean like you and how your Paw was and not pompous!

Maw my DH is just like that and because I know him so well and just know what he is thinking it makes everything just more so - iykwim. The loo is a very handy retreat!

When it gets too much I excuse myself and disappear into the loo for 10 minutes

MawBroon; Arguing can make you lose control of everything!

That reminds me. You appear to have killed off that Knickers thread, as you feared.
Where has it been buried? I've been in mourning since!

Ta-Ra and Hang on there.

My BIL is extremely pompous with political views slightly to the right of Genghis Khan. Paw and I used to argue with him (on principle, regardless of topic!) and I am continuing the tradition. When it gets too much I excuse myself and disappear into the loo for 10 minutes

Blubelle I think it is funny - I don't see it as a problem at all. I was merely sharing something I thought amusing to make you smile.

(Except for the exhaustion part of course which is sadly always there.)

As we get older don’t we all repeat good stories if I do it or my friends do it we just say oh yes I remember that so and so happened didn’t it
You say he’s entertaining likeable and you enjoy his company so what’s the problem ? he has one bad point that he blows his own past trumpet because the poor sap is missing being important and useful either tease him about it or shut your ears to it
Problem solved

We have a particularly good friend who retells all his stories repeatedly and DH can be very exasperated but manages to cover it or even preempt it by telling me our friend's story himself because it is so predictable. I am really not sure which is worse particularly as DH gets corrected and it can go on ad nauseam.. DH thinks I am more patient than he is and I don't think DH tells the stories as well as our friend!
We also have an older female relative who talks non stop and is even more tiring. At a recent family event they sat next to each other at lunch and the complaints we have listened to from each of them about the other were very interesting. We have realised that neither of them have self awareness but clearly do have the basic knowledge of conversational manners and that has made us think much more about our own conversation.
Our male friend openly admits that he has to talk over her in order to get a word in edgewise and whilst he is very funny I find it all exhausting. We have no idea about what we can do about either of them except as DH naughtily says "we just have to make sure that they always sit together!"

Ohhps sorry, Tonibolt

Toninolt, could you perhaps accidentally on purpose spill a drink or accidentally step on his toe,?

Lilyflower, I like your idea. I also wonder why we put up with it?

Elrel, ?I’m not alone, I feel better now