Getting a present “wrong”

“Diver?”
Silver and gold.

Disappointing isn't it Maw? It's quite annoying when you've spent a lot of time, and money, looking for the perfect gift, only to find that you've somehow missed the mark. But there's no excuse for your friend making offhand remarks, that's just rude imo. You could always ask if she'd like you to change it for something else (gift voucher), and then keep the necklace for yourself? And make a mental note for next year not to go to much trouble.

If I'm ever given jewellery I try and wear it the next time I meet the person who gave it to me to show that it gets used, even if it's not something I would usually wear. I rarely see anything I give my DiL ever again!

I recently sent a beautiful and not cheap world atlas to my godson for his 18th, bearing in mind and having asked subtle questions in case he had one, and he is doing geography gcse so I thought a traditional look at the world would be nice, not cheap to post as v heavy etc etc.
It took me a txt to my sis in law to see if package arrived as I feared it lost to find it had arrived two weeks previously, got a thank you note but I'm certain it's because I txt.
I also bought a beautiful poster framed for his uni room but I'm actually keeping it now!

That’s a shame Maw it is hard working out what others want, present wise, but only good manners to thank somebody properly for a present ( even an unappreciated one!)
Meno hardly anybody now seems to bother about thanking others for a present, even a quick text is better than nothing.Things that make you go grrrr.

Such a shame when you put so much thought into her gift.
How disappointing that such a lukewarm response from them was all they could muster.

As for how it "goes", surely there is information aplenty on the internet to advise on how to wear it. They didn't have to mention it to you.

Can you buy yourself one, you obviously liked it a lot?

I think that style is lovely especially if you're wearing a v neck. Your friend sounds very ungraeful.

Perhaps you should go and treat yourself to one as you liked it - but not exactly the same style.
Because you're worth it.

Definitely buy yourself something Maw , for your friends next birthday may I suggest a book on Good Manners

Yes, that’s happened to me. I saw a lovely necklace made up of several pieces of Amber in different graduate shades including green amber.

. I’d have loved it for myself, but gave it to someone who never wears it. Ah well!

It will be a gift token this year.

I gave my friend who "has everything" a bottle of her favourite red wine yesterday for her birthday which was a couple of days ago.
I knew by her face I had bought just the right thing.

Grannybags I do that too - wear something I was given when I am meeting the gift giver. and I also don't see the gifts to my DIL - excepting once I saw a necklace I had given her, being worn by her mother just a week later. The mother clocked that I had recognised the necklace, and promptly guiltily clutched at it . Since then, DIL gets mostly gift vouchers.

So upsetting when you have seemingly "pulled out all the stops" and researched what you think presents the perfect gift for that person and that occasion,only to find very little in the way of a warm and meaningful thank you.
I think in these cases it is their loss in that they have not learnt good manners, and cannot be grateful for the thought put into choosing that special gift ........as well as the real costs involved,often over and above what one can quite honestly afford.
I hope that means the next time you will spend that money on ...........yourself!

I always tell people NOT to buy me presents ,and I mean it.My OH went through a phase of buying jewellery that I wouldn't have worn.I think the girl in the shop sold him more expensive stuff because he was unsure of what to get.Anyway they all went back the next day and he learned that if I want something I usually just buy it myself.

If its a special birthday and people are insisting I must have something I ask for donations to my favourite charity Mary's Meals .

My sons new partner was shocked when he said no birthday present for mum ,but he knows full well I'd get annoyed at him spending money on stuff I dont need or in some cases want.They have more than enough things to spend their hard earned cash on ..things they need as they're just starting out together .He did send me a very cheeky card and thats allowed

My family know not to give me anything non-perishable as I have no room for anything more. I don't like being given perfume which I'd rather buy for myself to my own taste. One quite pricey scent I received at Christmas makes me sneeze!

I try to remember to wear or display presents. And I hope never to give any clues if it isn't to my taste. I do think that most of us fully intend to choose something we think the recipient would like, but inevitably we are drawn to something that we like.

I was quite please to read that you didn't actually get her a diver! But yes it is upsetting when you think you have cracked it. But you tried so chalk it up to experience!

Today is the birthday of DD1. Before buying her present, I consulted her DD1. We went shopping together and I,said do you think your Mum would like that? She said yes. When I gave it to her she was polite, but not enthusiastic. She has just phoned to ask "did you keep the receipt?

So like my own dear late Mum who said that almost every time about half an hour after I gave her a present.

I also would have been enthusiastic and appreciative for such a thoughtful gift and would've looked in the net to find out how it worked! Very ungrateful response.

I bought a friend's son and his bride a lovely lantern with candles in it as a wedding present. My husband thought it was unsuitable so we spent ages choosing some very nice modern matching glassware ornaments as an alternative as well as a £50 store voucher - to date we've never received a thank you for them. The wedding was 2 years ago

Meanwhile the lantern looks wonderful in my hall

Hence the need for wish lists as discussed on another thread! Ive lost count of the number of times Ive been disappointed in a gift (though would never say so to sender, and always thank them! Ive also experienced giving a present to a child who told me to my face that he didn't like it and had I brought anything else. I felt mortified and also cross about his poor manners.

We had a celebration lunch at our local pub yesterday - the second part of our Golden Wedding bash. My niece handed me some lovely flowers but was then collared by one of the other guests before I could thank her.

When I managed to grab her she was with people who were talking about acceptable gifts for people who had been married 50yrs.

Without thinking I blurted out, 'Well, the last thing you need is nick-nacks, but it was too late. My niece also handed me a box containing two garish '50 Golden Years' mugs.

Trying to dig myself out of a hole I laughed, 'They're just what I need. When DH annoys me I can make him a cuppa and remind him how long I've been putting up with him.'

I think it worked.

I think one of our GW presents had been recycled - but I don't mind because of who gave it to us!

I do sympathise, but at the same time I think jewellery is a very individual taste, and provokes strong dislikes as well as likes, so maybe choose something more 'neutra' next time!

Next time?

perhaps there won't be a next time