Risky subject

gillybob I'm inclined to feel the answer to that is 'yes', except in the case of rape, which has never been acceptable.

I remember while I was doing some photocopying, a colleague suggesting that I make a copy of my boobs. I was appalled, and upset, but also embarassed, and I've never told anyone until this post. I still think that was appalling. Expectations of behaviour in England had already moved beyond that by then, but it was overseas, and I daresay his own country (Australia) still regarded that as acceptable at the time.

I totally agree with you humptydumpty rape was never acceptable !

Some of these "putting hands on knees" things are really starting to get on my nerves. Why would you want to ruin someone's life after many years just because they put their hand on your knee. I mean you got over it for goodness sake. I could make a call right here and now that could potentially ruin a man and his families life. Why would I ? What would I gain?

I guess it is hard for folk to find themselves being judged now on things that happened many years ago when standards were different. It is a case of where to draw the line - Saville's actions were unacceptable at any time, but maybe a hand on a knee of a feisty lady, who is well able to stand up for herself is not in the same league. But, having said that, the motive and circumstances are important - if the person doing the knee patting is in a position of power and will use the rebuff to negatively influence the woman's future career, then clearly that is unacceptable.

I never thought I would hear myself say this, but I feel quite sorry for TM - one can only imagine her heartsink when her closest ally was found to be wanting an not able to state that there might not be further allegations.

DH remarked at breakfast the he wondered if any women would be 'named' as sexually predatory.

Teetime Your OH is so right on this how long will it be before some of the women are named.

I wondered that too Teetime I can't believe that some women in power have not made advances on younger/less powerful men.

Or is that seen as acceptable?

The only actions committed in the past which should be reported are those which were illegal at that time.
I too am heartily sick of all this media generated hysteria.

I think that there is some distinction between what was genuinely acceptable at some point (maybe 'black John' if it was not derogatory, but a childish nickname) and what has always been unacceptable, but was tolerated by those who felt powerless.
Most of these stories are about behaviour that was wrong, and always was wrong, but these men were not called out on it because their victims didn't know how to address it. They believed it was acceptable because they didn't think they had to consider anyone else's view but their own.

I have no problem with those who behaved in a juvenile way, and mended their ways, but there seem to be few of those stories (Jared O'Mara tried to play that card, but was found not have learned anything by his mistakes!)
Some stories are emerging of men who were told it was unacceptable by women who felt strong enough to do so, but appear to have taken no notice - we'll see as the stories develop.

I think it's all getting too ridiculous. I read yesterday about the Coronation Street actor who has been sacked for making sexual advances to a woman in a nightclub. I thought that was what nightclubs are for but I must be wrong. Anyway, whatever happened to 'innocent until proven guilty'?

I thought it was not Julia what's it that reported the incident but someone else and she was quite cross and said that she was not a victim and dealt with it at the time

I agree it has got all out of proportion and what was seen as a come on line or gesture is now being looked at in a very different light.

Do you think he has resigned because of this one incident? I think he must know other things might come out and he's going before the s**t hits the fan.

But how far back is far back? Yesterday? Last week? MF said things he did were acceptable 10-15 years ago - well not on any planet I was living on. As for the Coronation Stree actor I rather thought he had been charged with two counts of sexual assault which is not ok in any setting be it a night club or the House of Commons - it’s actually illegal. You know in as he will appear in court. I rather think that if your local GP or teacher had been charged with similar offences, they would be suspended from their posts pending the outcome of the case. I do wish posters would check their facts before posting - being charged with sexual assault is very serious and it is not ok to carry out sexual assaults in night clubs or anywhere else

Of course women in power have made advances to younger men - there’s certainly been some ET cases of that nature.

maryeliza - I wrote sexual 'advances' - not the same as sexual 'assault'. Sexual advances is what I read that he did.

You should be more careful in checking your facts because you were using it as an example to make a point. Where on earth did you read that and what did you think sexual advances meant? It’s just not right with a serious subject like this to post what was completely wrong and was intended to fan the flames of ‘women making a fuss/asking for it/poor men don’t stand a chance’. A link might have been in order

Think what you like.

Personally, I hope my grandchildren (female and male) are never subjected to the sort of intimidation, humiliation and sometimes fear that some Gransnetters on other threads have reported they experienced in their workplaces.

I doubt men will come forward ( to report women) although men reporting men may do.

Men reporting men already have come forward

I agree that there is - or should be - a clear distinction between acts that are illegal, workplace behaviour that is unprofessional, and things that are simply bad manners. The first should be dealt with by the police and the courts, the second by the employer or management, and the last by the people concerned, in the same way that you might deal with a rude shop assistant or a naughty child.

At the moment all three types of behaviour are being lumped together and confused, which is helping no one. It's all about context; the same act (say, casual groping) could be illegal if attempted by a stranger in the street, but if it was on the dance floor in a night club, it might be accepted or even welcomed, or simply rebuffed with no further repercussions.