When we are Brexited.....

What's 'King Koff'?

.... who knows?

Well, we will see an end to global warming in the UK, we will go back to the old money and to imperial weights and measures, £350 million a week extra will be invested in the NHS and women's retirement age will go back to 60.

Or at least that is what I was told before the referendum.

We will still be on the same Continent trisher and we will still enjoy our holidays abroad, and still enjoy all the little things that we like that we have copied.Although sitting outside a Costa on a cold day is something I have never favoured.

Don't know what King Koff is Ana but my Irish GM always warned me about it and how naughty children were struck down by it if they didn't wear a vest/got wet feet etc. (actually I think she may have misheard Whooping Cough.)

Agreed, no more of that EU nonsense once we are out! Be able to smoke in pubs again ( Farage), probably on tops of buses as well. There wont be anymore of that fancy cafe culture; be tea in thick white cups, teaspoon chained to the table, vague smell of chip fat and over cooked cabbage.....Back to the good old days eh?

As John Major said (although in a different context). After Brexit Britain will ... be the country of long shadows on county grounds, warm beer, invincible green suburbs, dog lovers and pools fillers and, as George Orwell said, 'Old maids bicycling to holy communion through the morning mist' and, if we get our way, Shakespeare will still be read even in school.

Oh yes of course and it'll be all John Betjeman, with honey for tea.

Oh goody, about time too.

Won't be swimming/paddling in the sea. Wasn't it those pesky Europeans who cleaned up the seas round these 'ere parts.

We'll have to cook in lard or dripping - no olive oil any more.
Oh, wait a minute, don't we all use organic rapeseed oil these days?

Someone will open a factory making liberty bodices which we will all be forced to wear in the winter so that we don't get King Koff.

I will be able to spend my jar of old pennies - hurray!

MOnica GS1 is reading Shakespeare at his primary school. They've been doing Macbeth and the Tempest. He loves it.

According to a lady I heard on TV we shall be able to eat mushy peas with our fish and chips! Not sure where she got that one from

DGD1 has been doing Shakespeare too and they have acted parts of one of the plays (Romeo and Juliet I think) in class but not in front of parents.

I always have mushy peas with my fish and chips! The other kind tend to bounce around too much.

We won't be able to afford holidays abroad as the £ will have crashed even more. Does anyone remember before the Common Market when you were only allowed to bring back 3 bottles of wine and 1 bottle of spirits? Then for a few years we had all those "booze cruises" , which have now gone out of fashion as the cost of wine etc has gone down so much relatively. Smuggling will become big business again. Prices of wine , olive oil etc will soar so none of that fancy furrin food. We will be a gambling tax haven.Half the people who voted Brexit will have died by the time it comes so maybe they'll be another vote......Shangri La

We will go back to the Britain of the 50s where you rarely heard a foreign accent and £.s.d. Will take back control. Silly laws like protecting our wild life will go and we can reintroduce all those useful pesticides and herbicides.

Will the nation get nice and slim again? So then there will be less stress on the NHS.

No!! All the retired will have to come back from Spain etc so they will clog the system

I was warned about king coff trisher by a friend I met at High School aged 11 (although she called it chinkoff). I had never heard of it before, nor had any of our other new friends, but it had the same meaning as you describe and became a source of great amusement for the next 7 years. In fact it still is as we are all still in touch and we continue to use it as a threat when one or other of us suggests sitting out in the cold. It's good to hear someone else has heard of it!

Tweet from Robert Harris on the preferred year settings of various politicians.

Corbyn 1972
Farage 1940
Fox 1913
Rees Mogg 1558
Duncan Smith 1065
Cash 56BC

And ... of course we will go back to teaching mental arithmetic and tables to our little ones. It must have been the EU that stopped all that.

Oh and we will bring back the village churches - it doesn't matter that there is no one going to them. I want to see them and they can't tell me differently!

Slightly too near the truth perhaps - we will all go back to having allotments and growing our own veg.

Everyone will do as they're told. No more of that "laissez faire" foreign nonsense.

Will we have to darn socks?