My daughter, her partner and their two delightful little girls live in Italy. She always likes to come home some time over the Christmas period and so she and my 4 year old granddaughter arrived on 27 Dec. By the following afternoon said granddaughter was covered from head to toe in chicken pox spots, itchy and miserable.
They were due to fly home on 1Jan but there was no way granddaughter would be have been allowed on a plane looking a she did, even if she had felt up to travelling. So they had to stay on and finally went home today.
At last the floor is clear of books, crayons, clothes and all the other paraphanelia a 4 year old needs these days. Once more we can eat what we like, when we like and we don't have to watch Stick Man on the TV 104 times a day!
I love them both to bits but can't say I was desperately sorry to see them go when I dropped them at the airport this afternoon. Am I a dreadful mother and granny?
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I love them dearly but .......
(107 Posts)No! My 2 grandchildren have just left after being here for the afternoon, I find after they have had their dinner I am counting the moments to them leaving. Love them to pieces but they turn the house upside down. I was looking at new carpets yesterday but after this afternoon think it would be a waste of money. Also think they are better behaved if their mother is not with them.
In a word 'no' . We have all done our bit as mothers, and love our off spring to bits, but they have their lives and we have ours. Enjoy the time you had with them and enjoy your own independent life.
No, Copperbob, you are voicing what so many of us feel. It's lovely to have them(well, perhaps not with chickenpox), but so nice when they go home! 
You sound pretty normal to me Coppernob! ?
A friend whos GC are older than mine used to say how lovely it was when they went home. I thought he was mean, now I know exactly what he meant 
I think most of us feel that! I know I do and, although I want the house back to normal, I barely have the energy to move never mind tidy up. I look on it as laying down the foundations for when they are older.
I'm guessing its probably harder for you Coppernob because your GD doesn't live close by. Ours visit several times a week and sleep over, so there's no point tidying up in between sessions. The cupboard is full of their favourite foods and the programmes they enjoy are recorded on the tv. I want our house to feel like their home from home, but the place really needs a major blitz and declutter when we entertain adult friends.
I think I might feel differently when I retire and have a more independent lifestyle, so I can appreciate the points of view of others expressed here.
I love having ours here but I'm not sorry when they go! Sometimes the old boy and I are at the front door waving and blowing kisses as the car drives away, then when we've shut the door we do a little "happy dance"....before cracking on and clearing the debris scattered around the house!
I love them both ways... when I see them coming and when I see them going! 
After our DGS went home having stayed with us for a week when his mum was having baby no2, we relaxed and recovered and immediately started to miss him!
I agree entirely that for some reason they do behave much better when parents aren't there.
I hate it now they've gone. Christmas was lovely with them here but DGS got up Christmas morning at around 7.00, opened some presents and took himself back to bed after 10 minutes and by 7.30 he was lying with a pack of frozen peas on his head, and it all went a bit downhill from there for a couple of days.
I was so relieved when he was up and about and the place was overtaken by a Lego landslide. I kept telling myself there will be plenty of time to clear away when they've gone.
I was on the early airport run yesterday morning up at 2.30 a.m.and came home to a mountain of washing and clearing away. The place is pristine again, but the silence is AWFUL.
I wish I didn't have these long gaps between seeing them, it's as though my life is always on hold until the next time. Then I think of GPs who don't see the children or whose family live too far away for regular visits and tell myself I just have to get on with it.
I still have DD2 and her Oz family with me (6 of them). We spent 2 weeks in a rented house with DD1 and DD3 and their families over Christmas and NY, so 15 in total. After the first few days I just gave up and let them get on with it. The are only so many times you can suggest : 'I don' t think you should be doing that' (bouncing off the furniture) and 'could you try and get your food into your mouths and not all over the floor' and 'please don't all talk shout at the same time' and 'remember, this isn't our house so please try not to wreck the place'. After the 2 weeks, 7 of us drove 450 miles as DD wanted to see her childhood home for the last time before I sell it. We drive back to the South again this weekend, they leave from Heathrow, then I swap cars with DD1 and drive another 450 miles home. Am I crazy? Am I tired? Have I lost my marbles? Yes, but I wouldn't have missed having all my family together for the world and I know that in a week's time I will be miserable and lonely again and the silence will be deafening. If it's a case of all or nothing, I would go for the 'all' option any time
I love my grandchildren to bits, 2 of them live a 4 hour drive away so don't see them as often as I'd like but my daughter's 2 boys live near me. They are gorgeous but very lively! They love coming to stay but I'm always shattered by the time they go home! Then it's a massive clean up operation and an early night!
Lovely to see them come and lovely to see them go :-) However we are lucky because they live just around the corner so no long stays are necessary.
Ditto. I love them but I'm glad to see them go home. When we visit them we never out stay our welcome because I'm sure they feel the same about us.
Mildred..... I am exactly the same as you.
Coppernob welcome to the forum 
You had them with you for a long time and it's no wonder you look forward to some peace and quiet, many of us feel the same after an afternoon!
Our DS and DiL were sway in Barcelona and so we were in charge of GC (3&1) at their house from Friday morning until Monday afternoon. Thankfully GC are good sleepers and so no getting up in the night. We loved having so much time with GC as we live a fair distance away but it took us a few days to recover
I've always been told, and am now experiencing: 'The joy of being a granny is you wave bye bye at the end of the day' !
No Coppernob you are not dreadful. It's an old, but true, saying that the best thing about being a grand-parent is that we can send the little darlings home again - much as love them dearly.
Coppernob you are not alone! We had family from abroad here for over 2 weeks over Christmas and to be honest, I think we were all glad to return to our 'usual' lives. Everyone had jetlag and then illnesses (including us) during the first week and coping with all the washing was a nightmare. We don't have a dishwasher or tumble dryer so DH and I slept surrounded by wet washing the whole time! We'd spent months getting the house ready to be toddler proof and child friendly and we even had to put the cat into a cattery as one of the visiting family has allergies. But it was worth it in the end. No great disasters but I'm always a bit tense in case something happens on 'our watch'.
So the peace and quiet is welcome for now but I do really wish they lived nearer so we could see them more often. I find being a long distance grandma very very hard. It doesn't get easier as time goes on either.
After seeing my younger GC (2 and 6) regularly every 2 weeks they now live further away. I shall see them only at half terms and school holidays. Suddenly the crammed low bookcase and crates of toys in the living room make me feel sad rather than taken over. Yes, I can reclaim my living space but it seems so unimportant. I'd rather have the mess, the radiant faces, sticky hugs.
I feel the same. My son, his wife and our grand-daughter (2) were here from 23 December to 2 January. His 3 step-daughters joined us from 28th. Our house isn't tiny but it is still a squash as I have a daughter still living at home, and for part of the time my 91 year old Dad was staying too.
I adore them without reservation, and did shed a tear when I waved them off, but how lovely it is to return to a calm tidy house and watch our own choice of TV.
"Also think they are better behaved if their mother is not with them."
Ah Mildred, yes I have definitive proof of that! My 3 year old Grandaughter stood on the coffee table and then jumped onto the settee, and I told her not to do it. She promptly ran around and climbed back onto the coffee table to do it again so I repeated "Don't do that, it's dangerous!" So she stood on the coffee table placed hands on hips and said "Grandad! Things are only dangerous when Mommy is here!" then she jumped again.....
Not bad at all! Think it must be normal. I had my DD, partner and DGS 5, DGD 8 months to stay for a couple of nights after Christmas. My house is fairly small and kept very neat and clean. I try to be relaxed about it when they stay here though it's very hard work. I like to give my DD a rest from cooking so do most if it myself plus get up early with my DGS when he wakes up. It was lovely to have them but oh dear was I looking forward to them leaving! When they said they'd have to go after breakfast on the last day I was so relieved! After they'd gone the house looked dreadful and I had to spend the rest of the day cleaning and putting the house back to right! Plus all the bedding to wash with no drier (still not all done!). I think you get out of the way of having other people around, especially children when you're older and lead a quiet orderly life! Doesn't make you a bad Granny!
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