I love them dearly but .......

We have DGSs 1 and 2 staying for a week while mum is away and they aren't too much trouble as they are at school most of the day. But it's the getting them and their stuff organised, the homeworks (massive in the case of DGS1 who is 10) and the running here and there to activities that exhausts me. Added to my heavy cold, I am shattered by the end of the day. How on earth did I do it with 4? Really points to how age takes its toll!

Over Christmas from 23rd to 31st were staying: DD1; her 3 children 8, 3 and 1 (who was poorly); SIL1 (who was poorly); DD2; her D aged 5; DS and DIL and there most of the time DD3 and her 2 sons 10 and 6 and new partner. I think you could say it was a full house! Mess and chaos reigned! But it was great to see the kids enjoying themselves as they all get on really well.

I'm still clearing up ?

Oh Coppernob et al, I feel so much better. I love seeing my GS,and having him to myself one day a week, but find I too look at how long we have to go at times during the day! I never feel I am the best granny anyway( hence the handle), but we certainly have a lot of laughs and fun in the day, and the joyous smile when he sees me is wondrous! But gosh, they do take all your energy, mental and physical. There is another arrival due any day, I am sure I will feel exactly the same when I look after them. Sadly,time itself goes so quickly- only seems 2 mins since DGS arrived, and now he is running races down the garden with his daddy, and it only seems a few minutes ago his daddy was doing the same with me. Precious moments, even though I do clock watch!

I can't decide what's more tiring, the children or the disruption to my normal routine. One Christmas a couple of years ago we had our son and family visiting, just the 4 of them. The others all live relatively near but this family are a 5 hour drive away so always stay a few days, they don't travel lightly and now there's a dog to add into the equation. 2 days in I looked round the house, piles of Christmas gifts stacked in the lounge, not to mention various electronic gadgets busy charging. There was a dog crate in the kitchen and a dog's water bowl that I somehow managed to step in at regular intervals. At one point I snuck upstairs, passing a version of Mountain Warehouse outdoor shop in the downstairs cloakroom, what seemed to be shoe shop in the hallway and a cosmetics/hairdressing business in the bathroom. I studiously avoided looking in the spare bedrooms. At last I reached our bedroom, some bits from the smallest bedroom decanted there to make room for the grandchildrens' belongings but otherwise unscathed, a quiet tranquil space. I lay on the bed and took a deep breath. Within a minute my youngest daughter, single no children and a bit of a neat freak crept into the room. "Have you come in here for a bit of peace?", she asked, "do you mind if I come too it's awful out there, I just can't stand the mess"
But I'm not really complaining, it's a lovely "problem" to have and I'm still hoping my youngest will meet a lovely man and have babies of her own.... not sure how she'll cope with the mess tho'!

Greyduster love that quote!

This thread has been a hoot , and nice to know that most of us feel the same about it.

What is it they say? Something to the effect of "Children have so much energy because they suck it out of you." Never a truer word!?

Victoria - I feel for you. You are not selfish at all. Could you be honest with your DD or DiL - just tell her you find childminding exhausting and really cannot do as much. Perhaps settle on how much you do feel able to do and ask her to respect your wishes? You will probably find she is so scared of losing your services altogether that she will readily agree. Good luck - and don't feel bad about standing up for yourself.

Of course it is hard work,and as you age it gets harder. You are not a bad person at all. We are used to a tidy home and watching what we want on TV.It does not mean we don't love our grandchildren of course we do,just it is nice when they go home as peace and quiet is welcome.

Very interesting thread - surprised the OP had to ask the question though! There's always been an old saying "It's lovely to see them come and it's lovely to see them go........" and I think that just sums it up nicely.

Many years ago we always used to visit my DH's parents on boxing day with our 2 kids and stay the night. I looked forward to this as I didn't have to cook and felt less stressed somehow. But the next morning my MIL would start collecting things up (our belongings) and putting them in little piles near us - I honestly never twigged why she was doing this and just thought it was one of her little quirks. It was only years later that I realised she was wanting us to go so they could clear up etc....................DH and I were talking about it recently.

I thing GmaMoira has a good point - that it depends on our age - I had so much more energy in my 50s for the GC than I do now in my 70s. Fortunately our DGC are all growing up and so there isn't all the paraphenalia of prams and changing mats and god knows what else that babies need these days, BUT we have just become great grandparents................!

I think as one of the posters said, our age makes a difference. GPs in their 40s have much more energy than GPs in their 60s or 70s. I have my DGDs a lot and the biggest issue for me is spending most of the time in the kitchen producing 3 meals a day and clearing up.

Does anyone else remember this little rhyme? I heard it from my aunt many many years ago -

How very nice it is to see
One's dear relations come to tea,
But better still it is to know
That when they've had their tea, they'll go !

No not at all. DS went back to uni on Friday. I love him dearly but I also like my own space now. Ive also cleaned the house from top to bottom today and got rid of teen again. Bliss!

I am not sure whether it is the DC or DGC that are most exhausting.

More seriously I think the real problem is having visitors in one's house and them staying. Our houses are sized and furnished for our requirements and for our habits and to introduce another 1,2,3,4,5.... people into it means that everything gets disorganised; furniture gets moved to get enough chairs round the table, there isn't room in the coat cupboard for all the coats so they spill out, there is no toy storage, or toys that live in a box under the bed are all over the living room, the washing machine, dishwasher are on permanently.

I do not think the problem is the children. It is the disruption caused by all those people in a hosue they do not normally live in.

Coppernob, you have instigated some excellent replies to your post and I found myself nodding in agreement at almost every one. I think what has come across from all the replies, is the sheer demanding physical aspect of grandparenting, we are all so knackered when they go. I don't remember ever being as anxious or tense about injury around my own four when they were little, as I am about my grandchildren. If I hear one of them has had a fall or bump I silently thank God it " didn't happen on my watch !"

Our two live 70 miles away, we only see them when minding, which is once a week, and whilst I know how fortunate we are they don't live on the other side of the world it would be nice to see them more regulary with their parents , rather than as childminders, though we do factor in visits as often as we can. I agree totally about the difference in their behaviour when Parents are present , its as if they are testing all of us . When we have them alone, they are very good, obviously there are occasional moments, but they aren't as frequent as when mum is present.

I loved the bit where one of the posters said her and her husband did a happy dance when everyone left ! ( sorry cant seem to scroll back to find name) We do the same in the car en route out of their driveway ! Not a dance obviously but similar given constrains of said car Lol

Having said all that , I love the bones of them, and cant wait until I see them again next week. I think too the intense periods of togetherness at holiday times and of course if there is a long distance involved, presents with its own particular set of issues, and equally , being on hand and too accessible can be a problem at times too. For what its worth I think reading all the posts, we aren't doing half bad and have lots of fun and shared special time with our grandchildren that they will remember for the rest of their lives .

My grandchildren confuse me. They look like my children but don't respond in the same way. The methods I used when I was a young mum don't work with them because I'm just the nan. I sometimes call the one who looks most like his dad by his dad's name. I used to spend at least an hour clearing up after they visited but now they are older it's much easier, well - most of the time. As we get older we do become used to an orderly home.

I'm with you ginny42. My beautiful flame haired granddaughter is 18 months old and her daddy is a serving soldier so they move around a lot and are in Yorkshire now . I live in the South and am very lucky to visit frequently. I love all the toys etc and watching Mr Tumble ! I simply can't get enough of it all and my earnest wish is that one day we will all live in very close proximity to each other! I did used to be a teacher so I guess I'm used to being over run by children! I loved that too! I do sympathise with others who find it tiring . We re all different aren't we.

Due to my current state (recovering from knee replacement) I can't have DGSs to stay. I used to love having them one at a time for 'a wee holiday at Grans' and thoroughly spoiling them. By spoiling I mean giving them loads of time and attention rather than sweets and cakes etc. Somehow its not boring playing snakes and ladders for hours as we all enjoy it so much.
By the time they can come and stay again the eldest will be a sophisticated six so won't want to stay with Gran. Luckily there's a three year old..

I have had such fun today laughing out loud about all the comments. How true they all are. You are not a bad granny, your a great granny. That is what it is to be a grandma. We have been parents and that is the hardest job of them all. But the grandchildren are a delight when they arrive and then when they go.

What a strange thing it is to be a grandparent! The mess, the stress, the disturbance, the disruption of your home and your space, the relief when they go home at times - yet you love them so much and miss them like mad when they're not there - the house may be polished, tidy and fragrant...but it's horribly silent.

Very normal Coppernob

There are very good reasons why one has children when we are young and having DGC just reminds us of all the reasons! ☺

I just have to say as I've said before and been slated for it - I'm so glad I'm not a grandparent and unlikely to be one (both adult children have stated they do not want children and neither is currently in a relationship).
I don't know how you GPs do it! I love my life now I've retired so much, with the freedom to do as I please at the drop of a hat. I don't want to be bothered with children and their demands - been there, done that thank you very much.
So no, you are not a bad granny if you're pleased when they've gone. You're a normal human being.

Oh how l've laughed-and wiped away a tear-reading this thread. There's no doubt it's exhausting having young GC around no matter how much you love them. Collected our DGS 8 and his sister 7 from school yesterday. Usual pleasant walk home and then they were like two bottles of pop going off. Found some balloons from the weekend and were just wild about the place. So. . . . . Instead of waiting for Daddy to collect them when he takes the post at 4.30 I bundled them into the car and drove them home myself. Later DD texted to ask if I'd given them neat E numbers! She had been shot by him with his new gun (?) 20 times so she'd fed him and stuck him in front of TV! We decided they were overtired after going back to school so early bath and bed. Am so glad we can see them frequently in short bursts. . . .

Oh yes! I can identify with absolutely everything that has been said.

I live very near to my DD and grandson. As much as I love them, I feel it's a bit too convenient for childminding. Many a time I have cancelled my own arrangements to accommodate them, so now I am resolved to not be too available.

I feel quite tired and drained after they have left, alsomthe mess. Can't wait to get the dettol spray out and hoover like mad.

I am at an age now where I just want a peaceful life. Have seriously thought about moving away as sometimes feel so burdened with it all.

I hope I don't sound too selfish.

Much as we love our family, after we've waved them off DH and I both say 'quick, lock the door!'.

I got custody of my granddaughter when I was just turned 60 and she was 2years and 8 months old. I wondered how I would manage just beforehand, but I can honestly say there were very few problems. I enjoyed having her with me, and she was so happy. Last year she left home to live with her boyfriend ( she was 21), they broke up and she came back after 6 months. Now I feel just like most of you do.!!!!!