last night.....

And... if I don't 'go' before I walk the dogs, I inevitably have to find a secluded spot behind a tree. I have now perfected the art of being able to go whilst standing up, because crouching down presents another set of problems

Couldn't you have just clutched at 'it' with one hand and shifted the moth with the other?

(By 'it' I mean, ^that area^)

I thought that only worked if you're a toddler, jingl

I had gone past the point of 'want' and it was now a question of 'need'..

And I have discovered that dancing about with on hand on it only makes it worse

Just squatting down over a primitive outdoor loo in Ecuador when a rat shot out of the hole.

You could have flushed first and washed the moth away. I don't spare the small moths, a lot of them are clothes moths who don't spare my woolly jumpers, or the blanket I spent months crocheting.

A friend was on a holiday with a touring caravan - continental make with door on the road side. A bursting bladder caused an emergency stop at the side of the road, and she shot into the van to use the portable loo in the tiny compartment near the door, Trousers down, lift lid, sit - then realised that she had previously stretched cling-film over the bowl as it had been primed with disninfectant fluid and she hadn't wanted that sloshing out en route.

Too late to put the brakes on, so rapid move in a squatting position to the door of the van to shoot a stream out onto the oncoming traffic.

Elegran
That made my day !!

Elegran ?????

I've probably told this story before. When driving through the Aberdare mountains in Kenya, I needed to 'go' and there was no 'comfort station' within 50 miles and such cover as there was might conceal a snake or scorpion. So I squatted down behind the VW Beetle and branded my behind on the very hot exhaust pipe. My parents were in the car and my dad thought it was hilarious.

Nope, apart from behind a tree etc like most folk, otherwise just use a boring old loo.

We were on a 2 hour walk near Uluru last year. We'd been lectured about not straying from the path because of the very delicate ecosystem, and about drinking 2 litres of water during our walk because of the intense heat. Obvious, ain't it? I was a good girl and drank my water, then with half an hour to go had to charge quite a way off the path to a rock big enough to hide my modesty. By then I was a lot more worried about the lurking snakes and spiders than the fragile ecosystem, to be honest.

Hurriedly behind a bush at Whiteclff Bay, IOW. Only relised when in midflow that the bush was right on the edge of an extremely high cliff! I was very careful.

Some years ago helping at the primary school fete I needed a wee so popped in the little girls loo which was nearer than the staff ones. On coming out I was met at the door by a small girl no older than 6 and knee high to a grasshopper who looked at me severely and asked "did you remember to flush and wash your hands"? I assured her I had done both and was allowed to leave

My friend broke down on the M40 and tried to use the emergency phone but no answer. She was desperate for a wee so opened both car doors and squatted between them so pretty much out of sight of the motorway traffic. Emergency phone then rang...she answered and was told not to worry, they had her in view on the camera. She looked round and there was one of those high level cameras pointing directly to the car....so much for being out of sight!! Ha ha!

Had trouble with the toilet in the bathroom once. I had to pee in the bidet if I needed to go during the night. Otherwise, I once had to jump out of the car and squat behind a field wall, only the sheep were witnesses.

I've only done a "country" wee once in a forest. Plenty of cover about

We were laughing last week on the way through to visit my old mum. SIL was driving as his car fits all 5 of us in without being squeezed. We stopped of at B&Q to get tools to do some work at Mum's.
Getting back in the car we asked DGD if she needed to use the potty so she was perched in the boot using it ... must be the only en-suite car in the world, but that's Porsche for you!!! I hasten to add DGD was the only one of us to use the facilities!

Well, I've had many "country" wees but I always go behind a bush. Sister was out with a walking group when somebody announced 'gentlemen forward' . The men shuffled off then all the women dropped their trousers in full view of everyone else, had a wee and never for one moment stopped talking. Then they stood up and adjusted their dress which involved in some cases pulling their huge knickers right up to the armpits. Not a pretty sight.

LOL some of these are very funny! I once got lost on the way home and had to leave the car and dash into a wood - it was many years ago and wouldn't dare do it now! I've been stuck in the car in a downpour in a festival field with the nearest portaloo a good half hour away so used my famous p-mate out of the open door whilst kneeling on the car seat!

On a long journey to Cornwall, I good not find a comfort stop. Stopped in a layby, no way to hide behind a hedge as they were all fenced off with barbed wire, so crouched beside a rubbish bin and hoped I got the angle right and not too many people noticed. What a relief.

One mild winter night I went for a walk with my very pregnant daughter to see the neighbourhood Christmas lights. She was ok but I suddenly had a desperate need and could not make it home. Only place, garden of empty house. I watered and fertilised a corner and thankfully it rained hard that night.

Not often myself but DH has! "He's been everywhere man, he been everywhere!"

I once had a very odd compliment paid to me by the husband of a cousin who told me that I obviously bad a very good stopper!