Noisy rude children

How difficult. I think that the more you try to get them to stop the more they will be noisy just to be irritating.

I quite like the sound of children playing - is there something particularly offensive about their noise that makes you dislike it so much?

1) Practicalities -

If you are not wound up by the children, the dog won't be either, so work on your own situation. Meanwhile put a bed for the dog in a quieter part of the house and encourage him to go to it.

Get earphones that plug into your radio, so that you can listen to it and not the noise. If it doesn't have somewhere to plug them in, buy another that does.You can get small radios with earphones, that clip onto your clothes, or sit in your pocket, quite cheaply. And is there an earphone point on your TV?

Put up a fine net curtain at your front window so that the children can't see whether you are in there where they can annoy you, and you can't see whether they are there trying to peer in. Avoid looking out and glowering at them - it justs makes it fun for them to be cheeky.

Plant something attractive but prickly along the front fence to scratch them if they lean too far over it.

2) Adjust your relationship with them and with their parents. This may be difficult to do if it has gone downhill, but worth an effort. Get them on your side, not against you.

My aunt is over 80 and lives alone in an ex- LA house, surrounded by young families, some of them fairly "rough". She has no children and very strict rather oldfashioned ideas about religion, behaviour, litter and noise. You would expect her to be the target of unduly kids.

BUT the children all come and talk to her and the cats if she is in the front garden, telling her of their day. Sometimes she lets them help a bit, and tells them the names of plants and so on. She insists that they call her Mrs XXXX, not Peggy, and they do so, though new kids on the block often ask her what her first name is (she won't tell them)

She gets on well with their parents, because she always talks to them when she meets them as well, and doesn't complain about the children playing (unless they have been aggressive) None of them would allow their children to pester her, even the ones who are quick to fall out with each other over trifles, because they like and respect her. She has done bits of shopping for neighbours who couldn't get out. She has employed tradesmen neighbours for house maintenance that she couldn't manage herself (which are no longer done by the council since she bought the house)

Some good suggestions from Elegran. I do understand your problem Marieeliz, I think some of us are more sensitive to noise than others. I can cope with most noises, but unpredictable loud noise makes me very tense. Earphones seems a good idea.

Very good response from Elegran

Good ideas indeed, but I can imagine it's very difficult not to be wound up by the situation if it's your day to day reality, especially when you're on your own and feeling "got at". I don't suppose you have street/ community wardens in your area, Marieeliz? If you do, give them a ring. We used to have them around the school where I worked, and they were great at defusing situations like this, getting people together, coming into school to get to know the community, helping children understand why their behaviour could be more threatening than amusing to vulnerable neighbours. I would hate to be forced into wearing earphones - they make me feel closed in.

Some good ideas from Elegran, but I too wouldnt want to have to wear earphones too much.

From the soundsof it, I am not sure that the op's neighbours could become like Elegran's aunt, but who knows? Worth a try I would have thought.

There is this from the Citizens Advice website
www.citizensinformation.ie/en/justice/children_and_young_offenders/anti_social_behaviour_by_children.html
but that seems to be about older children.

The children around Marieeliz are about 7, so could be won over.

I am lucky, I get on very well with my little neighbours and they do help me if I am pruning eg a bush. They lift items from the ground and place in the appropriate bin. They are well aware that I do not like them playing football because it can damage our cars and houses.

Our front gardens are open plan and they can play on mine with the proviso that they clear up afterwards. Two knocked on my door a few days ago wanting to borrow a bicycle pump! It is well over 50 years since I last rode a bike so they were out of luck.

They are not rude to me, they tell me some of their secrets and we get along fine. Maybe ask them for some help- something simple like putting rubbish out and start from there, finding out their names and which school they go to. My lot call me by my first name and I have no objections.

I agree about finding out their names, not by asking them if there is any other way. It will take them aback if you give them a casual wave from the garden, calling 'Hello X and Y' with a smile...

And if you make a friendly overture, they'll quite likely reciprocate - little children aren't usually naturally unkind.

I do appreciate that when you are trying to listen to something and it is drowned out by other noise it is infuriating. However children are supposed to play and be noisy though certainly they should not be rude or make you feel unsafe.

I agree with Elegrans suggestions to help you manage the situation you are in.

when a child our play area was a street and we played there evenings and school holidays , rather ashamed to say there was one lady - in a street of 80 houses - who would come to her door and tell us to play elsewhere , she didn't want the noise, didn't like the sound of the balls bouncing etc, when we were near her house we made more noise to annoy her

I think you have to try very hard to not let this get to you , children need to play out if there is no play area nearby . Some great points made by Elegran which I wholeheartedly think would work to lessen your irritation. The more you focus on it the louder it will sound and really they are not doing anything wrong as far as I can make out from your post .
I too like the sound of kids playing out in summer , I live in a cul de sac next to a very large park but the local kids still play outside my house . I make a point of being friendly as I don`t want to be seen as a grumpy old woman and spend my life being annoyed by something I can not change .

I think that is the point Annie - this poor OP has got herself into a battle with them and it is very hard indeed to turn back from that - if she was able to turn this around and be their friend the things would get easier. But once the battle lines are drawn......!

It is so hard, if something gets under your skin, then it is hard to hear anything else - like a "worm in the ear" and it all spirals out of proportion.

There used to be children in one place we lived who were very mischievous - they would steal our apples (we ignored it - it is very boring when you do not get a reaction) - and one of them would duck down behind our hedge and repeat everything we said when we were sitting out in the garden. One day I whispered to everyone else to keep talking, then I crept into the kitchen and got a bucket of cold water, tiptoed to the hedge and flung it over!.........he never did it again!!! Much hysteria on our side of the hedge!

Like Anniebach, we usually played out on the street as children, even though we all had good-sized back gardens. There were lots of us in the street and few vehicles. Luckily most of the adults were parents themselves. Unfortunately children can sense adults' dislike and frequently target them. Elegran's aunt has the right attitude

There used to be an old man down the road from us who would come out and shake his stick at us and tell us to "sling our hook" - needless to say his was the house we biked past yelling and whooping just to annoy him - horrible children we were!

It's what children do when a few together, making little friends of them is the best action to take, they may be little angels at home and children love to gossip over the fence too, I have one seven year old friend who visits next door and he loves telling me the rules of football and no longer kicks his football into my flower tubs

I have noisy families living all around me but I play it sweet and kind as I think complaining could make it worse. If you can find a way to make them like you they will be less of a nuisance.

I would be happy to hear the sound of children playing near my house. We choose to go on holiday to family friendly hotels because we like children and haven't forgotten that we were young once.

Sorry OP, I think you need to lighten up and make friends with them. If you can't face it after falling out perhaps wait until halloween and put some things outside your house to indicate that you are participating in the jollities and offer them sweets when they knock. That would break the ice.

Will there be a street party to celebrate the Queen's birthday this year? If so, get involved with the organising and get to know the people.

Maybe you could knock on your neighbours door and ask for some little help? There must be a way to break the ice.

Little swines! Us 3 kids were devils and my mum used to hate us playing on the street. We had so much fun though. I would try to make friends with the kids, then they won't want to up set you. We're only young once.

We used to play "knock down ginger" or knock on a door and pretend to foreign. My friend and I used to squirt people coming out of the big laundry up the road and then duck down. Such a laugh!

I would say hello to children as they pass while I'm working out front. Sometimes they stop to chat for a moment. We are in a cul De sac so really only very local kiddies about. After becoming familiar I may have the occasional sweetie in my pocket.

I always worked on the principle of mailing friends with the,wee ones before they grow up.

I wonder if OP was to be occupied with something out front and just say hello to the kiddies....I.e. are you enjoying the school holidays..... baby steps.
Also get the nets etc....

Life is short, children do what children do. Be thankful you can hear their laughter, the alternative is worse.

Am I the only person on here to feel sorry for Marieeliz? Yes children need to play but they certainly don't need to scream all the time while they are doing it and I don't know why today's children do scream so much. As a child I played out in the street all the time in a fairly large gang of neighbours children, laughing and chasing each other, but we never seemed to feel the need to scream constantly. As for deliberately upsetting neighbours because they weren't being nice enough to us, well my backside would have felt my mother's wrath.

Also if I felt my own children were making too much noise and upsetting neighbours they would have been told to come in very quickly and stayed in until I felt they could play reasonably. Why should Marieeliz be feeling like this because her neighbours can't control their children?

But just what is screaming? Do children scream for three hours , or could it be a mixture of laughing, shouting, talking . Yes children are noisy but they don't scream for three hours . And there is a difference between nice enough and nice .

I too feel sorry for Marieeliz and I think all the posts here are helpful