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Do you always say exactly what you think?

(64 Posts)
kittylester Sat 16-Jan-16 12:01:45

I ask because I was talking in a group of people and mentioned that xxxx does my cleaning, which most people knew anyway. Someone in the group who I hardly know said, 'Can't you do your own bloody cleaning?' I was so shocked I couldn't come up with an answer and must have looked like a fish gasping for breath! shock

thatbags Sat 16-Jan-16 12:12:26

No. I often don't say what I think. That said, I'm unlikely even to ever think what that person in your group said, kitty. Silly cow << what I think about her commenting as she did.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 16-Jan-16 12:14:27

I would probably have thought it but wouldn't have said it. smile

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 16-Jan-16 12:15:26

Ooh! shock I think I just did, didn't I?! grin

soop Sat 16-Jan-16 12:34:49

Good for you bags and jings

If something or someone really upsets me, I would say what I think. I think. Sometimes, though, my brain is slow to function. I'm lost for words. I simmer inwardly. Bad for the blood pressure! hmm

MaizieD Sat 16-Jan-16 12:46:44

I 'hope' I only give my opinion when asked, explicitly or implicitly, for it.
Even then I might let tact prevail over truth...

I think that unasked for comments on peoples' domestic arrangements are extremely rude. How you run your life is no-one else's business if they're not directly involved.

OTH I sometimes get a bit carried away when posting on forums sad

LullyDully Sat 16-Jan-16 12:51:34

I sometimes have problems saying what I think as I try to be tactful.....can work, not always.

Did put my foot in it a few times in the past and it taught me to take care

For example." What a lovely Grandchild." "She is my child. "
"When is the baby due?" "" A year ago. "
Best to keep stum sometimes!!

grannyactivist Sat 16-Jan-16 12:51:55

No. I learnt not to do that when I was about six years old and discovered empathy and good manners. I can be quite blunt when invited to give an opinion, but I wouldn't choose to be deliberately rude. A man I know recently asked my opinion on a situation he'd been in so I told him what my thoughts were and at the time he was quite shocked at what he called my 'brutal honesty', but last weekend he thanked me publicly for saying what I had.
Kitty it seems to me the 'question' you were asked was much more of a statement implying that you 'should' be doing your own cleaning - and in my view was just downright rude.

annodomini Sat 16-Jan-16 12:54:34

Your domestic arrangements would only elicit sheer envy from me. Kitty! Usually I keep my mouth shut if I disagree or disapprove. However, if someone was putting forward what I saw as a borderline fascist view, I'd certainly let fly.

Lilygran Sat 16-Jan-16 13:28:56

I think you would have to be very confident or very insensitive to say exactly what you think most of the time. kittylester how rude of that person! People who are that outspoken (rude) can only be like that because the rest of us aren't.

Teetime Sat 16-Jan-16 13:31:28

I don't think there is ever any excuse for rudeness as that is what this was. I do sometimes not always say what I think but try hard not to hurt anyone's feelings or be personal about them. I say what I think when its in a business context and its disappointing when someone takes that personally (yesterdays charity management committee). I think this person (if they weren't joking that is and that could only work if they know you very well) needs either to apologise or runs the risk of you a)ignoring them in the future or b) having taste of their own medicine. Nasty. Its your business if you have help and in any case you are creating employment.

chelseababy Sat 16-Jan-16 13:36:46

My mother seems to think the older you get the more you can speak your mind and has lost quite a few friends because of it. On the other hand she takes offence easily at others comments.

ninathenana Sat 16-Jan-16 13:43:27

If someone said something as rude as that to me I wouldn't hesitate to give a cutting reply.
However, if I'd had an unsolicited opinion such as that, I'd keep it to myself.
I'd love a cleaner smile

Lona Sat 16-Jan-16 13:45:05

I've had my moments of being a little straightforward in the past, but I've learned to think before I speak, and in most cases to keep quiet unless asked !
I rarely post because of it, but I have lots of sarcastic conversations out loud to myself! grin

kittylester Sat 16-Jan-16 13:45:10

I wasn't offended as this person is always very outspoken, although she has a heart of gold. I have never been on the end of one of her comments and was cross with myself for floundering instead of telling her to mind her own flipping business. grin

Anya Sat 16-Jan-16 13:48:35

I very rarely give voice to my thoughts in RL, except to OH.

There are too many 'older' folk, like your mother chelseababy - I wonder if it's deliberate or a sign of an ageing brain?

gillybob Sat 16-Jan-16 13:48:47

Sometimes I wish I could say what I think instead of beating around the bush as I tend to do. I hate saying "no" to anyone and hate face to face confrontation.

I think people do tend to say what they think more as they get older chelseababy my grandma (who died recently) could be quite cutting in her remarks. I saw her virtually everyday and one day out of the blue she said "Gilly, I have been meaning to tell you that you are getting fat" shock

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 16-Jan-16 13:53:07

grin

LullyDully Sat 16-Jan-16 13:56:43

The one I like is " what a lovely lot of weight you have lost....however you are still a big woman aren't you?"

NanaandGrampy Sat 16-Jan-16 14:04:39

I'd have replied ,' I could , but it's nice not to have to' ! I definitely don't always say what I think even if invited I would probably sanitise my response.

I'm not above speaking my mind but the older I got and the more senior in my working environment the more I learnt to have my say is as positive a way as possible.

gillybob Sat 16-Jan-16 14:05:46

I once arranged to meet a social worker at my grandmas house. She wanted to see how she was doing living alone and I thought I had better be there. The poor lady had hardly got out of the sitting room door (I was showing her out) when my grandma announced "my, my she was as wide as she was tall, tee hee hee hee"

I was horrified as the lady must have heard her loud and clear.

M0nica Sat 16-Jan-16 14:31:33

No, because it depends on the circumstances. There are times when I will speak quite pointedly, other times I will say it wrapped in lots of sweet things and others stay silent.

But in kittylester's case I think the woman was quite simply extremely rude. It was none of her business, nor appropriate, for her to maker any comment at all on the arrangements Kitty had made to keep her house clean.

baubles Sat 16-Jan-16 14:44:55

Having worked in a customer facing role in the past I've been astounded by the way I've been spoken to when there was absolutely no call for it. Not that there was ever a need for rudeness but I think for some people it's their default position.

I probably err the other way, I've often bitten back a retort as I don't want to be hurtful.

That woman was very rude in my opinion.

Luckygirl Sat 16-Jan-16 14:49:13

Cheeky cow! - what business is it of hers?

kittylester Sat 16-Jan-16 15:41:50

Cheeky cow was my immediate thought Lucky but then I wasn't able to think of a better riposte. I suppose I could have just said 'cheeky cow', hopefully with a smile, but I didn't because I see her quite often. That obviously didn't stop her though.