Lodgers

Its nice you've had an agreeable lodger sadly it doesn't always turn out that way.. my brother had awful experiences with a couple of lodgers .. Its not something I would do as we only have one bathroom and I wouldn't want to share my bathroom with all and sundry... at the moment my eldest daughter is lodging with us and honestly I will be happy to get my house back to myself as even sharing with family isn't my ideal.

I think you are lucky grannyactivist that you have had a positive experience, I have heard some real horror stories.

A friend of mine has hosted several foreign students (one at a time!) who were in Britain to study English.
They were usually Japanese or Chinese and have all been good guests.

A friend of mine, when her husband was unable to work through illness, had foreign students who came to improve their English, again mostly Chinese and far eastern. Some were extremely demanding(and often very rich) but it was a rewarding experience in every way and she is still in contact with some. However I think it was a relief to them when they no longer needed the income and the house was their own.

I've had short term lodgers in my spare room from time to time (Canadian, Australian, South African). Never had a bad experience because they are handpicked (can't say the same of some family members who outstay their welcome).

Grannyknot - I spend a lot of time researching potential lodgers and then spelling out the groundrules to them so that when people come to live here they know exactly what is expected of them. I suspect my forthright manner tends to put off people who may be troublesome and I also take up financial and character references. We've had lots of lodgers (as well as providing homestay for foreign students and an occasional homeless person) and never yet had a terrible experience.

A very good friend of DD's has been hosting overseas students for quite a few years now. It was all because of her divorce then financial loss because of her business, she found she was about to lose her house. She rearranged some of her house to add extra bedrooms. There is still plenty of living space and she lives in a great area with plenty of public transport. It has been a very positive experience and she still keeps in touch with past students from many years ago.

We've many many lodgers in the past when in the UK. First foreign students on Summer courses, then Au Pairs (OK different to lodgers)- and then 1 of my 6th formers whose parents were moving away who came to stay for 1 term, but stayed for a second year. They a student from the local college rang the bell and ask if we had a room to rent- as he had started at the college via clearing- and was sleeping on the gym floor. We invited him for supper as we were eating and said he could stay until he found something else- he stayed for 2 years. Then 2 more, again who arrived at college late via clearing, and heard we might be able to help. Then a student who was at uni with our daughter- and later foreign PhDs who did research at the college- and then teachers from the old Eastern block on a course- and our French and German assitantes.

Then I opened my own language school and had 100s of foreign students to stay, 6 at a time, for 1 mont during Summer, and adults throughout the year. I have not counted, but must be about 100. Each and one of them taught us so much- and we all so enjoyed it.

I was 'shouted' at when I suggested having a lodger could be a solution for many affected by the bedroom tax. But for me, truly and honestly- it would be a perfect solution- providing there is support and supervision- in the case of older people. Especially if rent is ket low against help with bins, shopping, a bit of this and that and a good natter over a cup of tea.

gj I missed the "shouted at" - but IMHO it's a very reasonable suggestion. Also can counter loneliness.

Granjura your experience is similar to mine in many ways and I must say that for my family we all regarded a sort of 'open door' policy as a lifestyle choice that brought benefits to everyone. We've had people staying here from all walks of life - from homeless people to PhD's and people from a huge range of cultures, ethnicities and religions. I've found that sharing my home, especially for long periods, is a very good way to expose my shortcomings and prejudices and certainly encourages me to be more generous and flexible than I would be otherwise.
On the other hand I have heard many tales of disaster, not least amongst people I know who have thought of taking in lodgers as a quick and easy way to make money. One of my friends ignored my advice to always carry out checks and invited someone to live with him on the basis that the lodger was a teacher. It turned out the lodger was an alcoholic teacher who caused many difficulties before finally moving on. My friend has continued to offer lodgings, but has had a major attitude shift and now ALWAYS takes up references.

My best friend's marriage broke up, leaving her with a vast house and mortgage and business loans. My own broke up shortly afterwards so I moved in with her, in effect I was her lodger, but didn't pay rent because what I did was help her to convert her house into flats and re-decorate all the rooms, and we let them out. It was only about two weeks before we got our first lodger, and I really enjoyed my time there. Most of us had broken marriages, of both sexes, and it was a wonderful halfway house while we needed time to sort out our heads and decide what we wanted to do. She still has lodgers over twenty years later, but is down to two rather than nine or ten at a time.

Because of that experience, whenever I have had a friend in financial difficulties I always suggest having a lodger. In all the time my friend has had lodgers, she has only ever had two difficult people. One was a 21 year old female thief with an eye for toiletries, the other a 50 year old gardening alcoholic - she took him on in the hope he would keep the grass cut for her but he was drunk in charge of the ride on mower and mowed all her borders!

One of my friends now takes in foreign students, so that she gets a bit of a break from them at certain times of the year. Another took in a gardener and they are now in a relationship. Another took in a hairdresser and gets her hair done for free!

I was thinking about it the other night, and mentally planning how I would sort the house should anything happen to dbh - as one does on occasion. Firstly, you get their rent, and secondly, you have someone to keep an eye out for you. As you do for them. And with a bit of luck, you even really like each other. My friend now has an annual reunion for all her previous lodgers. Sometimes it was like having a party most nights - but of course you could always go to your own room if you didn't want to join in. Our children absolutely loved it. I could sort of see the attraction of living in a commune as a result. I even tried to get DBH to move in when I met him, but he liked a quieter life.