Who does what in your house, and is the workload shared fairly?
I do all the washing, ironing and cooking. DH will Hoover as I can't lift the Dyson and I do the rest of the cleaning. We shop together. We do the gardening together but he does the mowing the lawn. I feel he has more leisure time than I do. How do you share the household jobs.?
Gransnet forums
Chat
Retired Couples- division of labour
(17 Posts)We each get our own lunch but take it in turns to do the evening meal. As I type, my OH is frying steaks very efficiently. I will load the dishwasher and tidy the kitchen later.
He does the heavier jobs such as vacuuming and the lawn but I do the fiddly things like cleaning the shower, weeding etc.
Anything technical or DIY is done by DH. He also gets odd bits of shopping and sees to meals if I don't feel like cooking. He also does the garden. I do main shopping, most of the cooking, general housework. We each do our own washing. It seems to work ok. Both of us still work to some extent as well.
My husband dries the pots occasionally, and takes out the wheelie bin each Wednesday night (I have to bring it back though, on Thursday morning). Apart from that, he does virtually nothing, he`s one of the old school, men work, women look after the house and kids, even though he`s no longer working, that still seems to apply.
My DH doesn't cook however he does do nearly all the gardening jobs,decorating,taking out the bins ,cleaning windows and all DIY tasks. He has never undertaken washing,ironing ,buying of cards and birthday/Christmas presents,letter writing etc. He will dust , hoover, make the bed and help with the dishes , sometimes I have to fight to do these jobs myself ( but that's only since he retired) he would willingly undertake all the supermarket shopping but I fight tooth and nail against it. I maintain he does these chores as he is a bit OCD and believes that he is the only one that can do it properly.
With us it seems that the daily regular boring chores are done by me (planning meals shopping cooking, feeding the animals, watering the plants, laundry etc.) Luckily I love cooking.
He does the heavy stuff plus the vacuuming, and odd repair jobs.
He says I only need to ask and he'll come, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to ask.
I also do all the "office" stuff if it's in french, bills etc., though he sees to this if it's in english.
We don't do too badly really, and have made adjustments over the years - we've been retired for some time.
Me:
Cooking lunch and dinner, washing, ironing, all housework, feeding dogs, shopping (sometimes he comes with me) all present buying, all the driving, decorating, gardening, bill paying.
Him:
Cooking breakfast at weekends, washing up, car maintenance, DIY, lawn mowing, strimming, hedge trimming.
Jobs we do together:
Gardening, looking after the chickens, Sunday Lunch, All Christmas cooking, home made wine, preserves,
We're always busy 
DH does the laundry and hangs it out. I bring it in and do the ironing. I do all the cooking but he stacks and empties the dishwasher. He cleans the bathroom and downstairs loo, helps me change the bedlinen, helps with the supermarket shopping loading and unloading, after I've got to the till.
We do the garden together. I do all the day to day cleaning but he empties the bins, puts them out and brings them in. He does the car maintenance, changes light bulbs etc. I buy all cards, presents, his clothes and cut his hair once a month.
I think I've got a treasure!
I, clean, wash and iron, do all driving, sort finances, book hols do most of cooking.
HE, does all the gardening, puts out the bins, occasionally Hoovers, does DIY, washes car, cooks breakfast at weekends.
WE, decorate and shop.
Huh!!!
Diivision of labour? I should be so lucky! OK since his health went downhill he has some excuse but did the square root of bu**er all before as now.
Oh Snap! Soutra Mine has persevered with fitting a new front door, putting down new tiles in the porch and repainting the hall, which has taken 10 month's so far. He has stuck with it because he doesn't think I could do it but his illness hasn't let him do much else. BUT to be honest, when he was fully fit he didn't do much anyway - except for a bit of show of cookery if anyone came to dinner. Apparently the occasional bit of car mechanics equals 365 days of housework.
Thank goodness for Soutra and Deedaa - I was beginning to think I had the only one who did virtually nothing. He sometimes cooks the very simple odd evening meal but then leaves all the pots and pans piled up in the sink and a very dirty hob. (for me to sort out. Doesn't work vice versa though.) I don't think he has cleaned a loo/bathroom in his life. Will vacuum if he has someone coming to house for a meeting - but only the bit of carpet that shows. Washes his car (but not mine). Does his own breakfast and lunch.
Going to stop now before I depress myself anymore 
oh - and thank you number please too.
(wish we could edit our posts!)
soutra and deedaa can I join the club?
Apart from sometimes making the bed and washing dishes, which in any case I am given to understand is done as a favour rather than an obligation, mrA confines himself to car maintenance, decorating, and cutting the grass.
Oh and he can fix anything. 
I much prefer to be boss in my own kitchen though, so it suits me quite nicely.
DH still works part time so gets away with just doing traditional male type things. Like Jane, I like the kitchen to be mine so I hope he doesn't start getting ideas when he does eventually retire! 
We have always shared all the household chores. Now we are retired OH makes all the bread, stock, soups and he cooks probably more than 50% of the time. He does most of the shopping and does the household accounts. I tend to do the washing and ironing and we share the housework, DIY and gardening. We don't have any chores that the other one can't do if it is needed.
We both worked full time from the start and as we both travelled with work at different times, one or other of us had to pick up more of the work at home. Childcare was always shared and I do remember some dinosaur-like colleagues being shocked that he got up to deal with the children in the night.
We sometimes argue over who will cook, but only because we both enjoy it. We married young and learnt to do these things together so there was never a traditional division of labour. Our children run their homes the same way.
I can't bear it when people pretend not to be able to learn how to do things, snort and say, "learned helplessness".
Mr Teetime does all the ironing thankfully- when I had a bad back and couldn't stand at the ironing board he took it over and he is much better at it than me. He does all the hoovering to so he gets to choose the electrical appliances. I do laundry. bathrooms and kitchen cleaning as I am fanatical about hygiene and not happy unless I do it myself. I do all the cooking too as he has no talent for this. He does all the decorating, DIY and gardening so I think he does more than I do but I'm prettier so it evens out.
Join the conversation
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join the discussion, watch threads and lots more.
Register now »Already registered? Log in with:
Gransnet »
