Birthday card etiquette

Oh stansgran that must hurt. for you.
I would just keep doing whatever your instincts tell you, and if that's to keep sending them cards, then carry on.
Lead by example?

Personally I am sending and receiving far less birthday, and other occassion, cards than ever because of the cost of postage.

That's very sad. I would still send- always be the bigger person.
I do hope you did have a Happy Birthday though .

Stansgran your post made me feel so sad. for you.

Stansgran, do they remember your birthdays in other ways? My daughter hardly ever sends cards. I jokingly send her emails just before mine and other family members' birthdays. We sometimes get one and sometimes not. However she always comes with a gift.

I was going to ask are you on good terms generally?

Of my three children, one always remembers and sends a card for every occasion, one sometimes sends one and sometimes doesn't, the third never. I am on very good terms with all of them, and it is a standing joke with the non-sending one that she always forgets.

I send cards most of the time, but I do sometimes miss out. No-one seems to be all that bothered about it.

Next time you speak to her, make a joke of her not sending - she was probably busy with her own life, and, let's face it, your birthday is less important to her than it is to you. Don't get into a strop over it and make it an occasion to stop sending to her, or to complain that you are neglected and lonely because of it. Do you really want her to remember your birthday because if she doesn't you will stop remembering hers? A "duty" card has very little value, and

A "duty" card has very little value, and a needy mother who goes into a decline about one missed card is a burden, not a delight and a person to see and contact voluntarily.

(Blast this laptop. It keeps doing things I don't want it to! It posted the previous message before I was ready.)

My cards have declined, and my daughter and I have discussed this. The cost of stamps alone is so high, and she has no spare money at all. So to save postage, as she still wants to send a gift we have settled on a small M&S voucher and the card with it is my birthday card, but she also sends an online free card.

However - it's often late! I know she loves me, and that is what matters.

On recent birthdays I have been remembered, usually by text, email, an email card and occasionally with a 'posted card'. I feel your disappointment but as someone else said, lead by example, either send texts or emails if it is easier - you might just start a trend!

DD always sends a card from her and a separate one from the children she also has for many years sent cards on behalf of her two brothers who are just hopeless when it comes to remembering dates,I remind my boys after the fact and their response has always been "well A sends one for me doesn't she?)

I had a lovely birthday. Thank you for the Probably the best birthday I've ever had and not having cards from the daughters didn't matter in the great scheme of things. I think it mattered more to DH as he had planned a short break in a lovely hotel in Northumberland and outings to places we had not managed to get to before. He wanted it to be perfect. The weather was beautiful too. I am the card sender in our family and did all the remembering for DH's family. I don't feel I'm needy or whiny about it but I do wonder if I'm out of sync with current attitudes and it's interesting to see other people's responses. I don't know if I do get on with DD1 as I rarely see or hear from her although we have her children a lot . We see DD2 much more and do lots of single day baby sitting or days out with them. But because I'm the card sender I don't want to look as though I'm sending cards when they are no longer really wanted. I feel in a quandary. I'll probably carry on and grow a thicker skin.

Send them because you want to send them. It doesn't matter whether they send them to you - it doesn't mean that they love you any less.

Exactly Elegran

Ditto Lona and Elegran

My DD didn't send me one for my 50th this year and before that used to get me ones with minimum wording on it and minimum words from her too so not getting one was preferable to getting one out of duty. I have received ones from her children but none again for my birthday this year. Never mind, plod on. My DS, however, got me a beautiful card, lovely words on it and heartfelt message from him too. He's my favourite now!

Oh I want to send cards. I love sending carefully chosen ones. I tend to buy hand painted ones when we are on holiday especially in the Far East because they are so attractive on hand made paper but DD1 has accused me of being passive aggressive in the past. I do have a sarcastic turn of phrase at times and have to be careful but that's what makes me hesitate.

I look forward to my cards from my girls although one is often late but that's just the way she is. DH and I have stopped sending each other Xmas cards and Valentines - bit silly we thought but I still would like a birthday card from him.
However I am considering not sending Xmas cards this year- I like the ones I get -although they get less and less each year and various family members have now left us but I don't display them - too messy for me.

Perhaps they feel your hand-made ones are a bit much to live up to. Buy them a one pound one each from Marks and Sparks. It's the message you write inside that matters more than the card itself.

Not sure where "ettiquette" comes into this though. I hope it's love.

I couldn't not send greetings cards to friends and family.
Over the years sort I choose has changed. For as long as I can remember, I sent mum and dad 'mushy' cards for birthdays and Christmas, until they both past away.
The ones I send now tend to have far fewer words, my children would think me odd if I sent them 'mushy' cards.
DD did buy a lovely card for my 60th she also bought banners and balloons which was unusual. I very rarely receive a card or gift we are close but she doesn't seem to feel the need. DS buys lovely cards.

I've just forgotten to buy a card for my DiL but fortunately have a few days' grace. Since my birthday is on a conspicuous date, it would be difficult for any of my family to forget it, but I think they would send cards anyway.