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Would you do the same?

(16 Posts)
dorsetpennt Fri 08-Aug-14 09:22:15

A married couple in their late thirties to early forties live next door with their nine year old daughter. I live in the garden flat of a purpose-built block of four flats. Two garden flats with a flat each above, so I share a wall with the couple next door. Usually I don't hear anything through the wall. However, I have heard some blazing rows and she screams a great deal. One morning the screams were horrendous and I heard her yelling 'help me'. I went next door and rang their bell, no answer. Back into mine and the screams continue, I'm worried that he is beating her up. So I call the police. The despatcher could hear the screams down the phone and agrees to send a car. Five minutes later a car arrives male and female police go into the house. About an hour later the policewoman comes over to me for a chat. It transpires that it was just a row and she is very over-excitable [really?]. I apologised for wasting their time. She reassured me that I had done the right thing. What if she was being beaten and I had ignored it? Always call if you are concerned about a neighbour's welfare was her advice.
A few days later I'm in my garden. There were my neighbours friendly as anything, not a word of explanation or apology, or even a mind-your-own-business chat.
Would you have called the police? Although now I wont call on her behalf only if I think her daughter is at risk. What parents, I forgot to mention the child was witness to all this.

Anne58 Fri 08-Aug-14 09:30:01

Yes, I'm pretty certain that I would have done the same. Better to do it and be wrong, than not do it. There are many cases like this where nobody did anything and then it was too late.

Eloethan Fri 08-Aug-14 09:39:15

Yes, you were right. Poor child.

Lona Fri 08-Aug-14 09:40:04

Yes, I would do the same, it was the right thing to do.
What a shame that the little girl had to witness the row, and then see the police visit her parents because of their behaviour.

Terrafirma1 Fri 08-Aug-14 09:46:43

Well done! If only more people did like wise and didn't just turn up the TV.

sunseeker Fri 08-Aug-14 09:54:01

Yes you were right - in your place I would have done the same and if I heard it again I would still call the police. If there is violence in a relationship it does tend to escalate. Hopefully, the visit from the police will have been a wake up call for them. It must have been terrible for the child to witness this.

henetha Fri 08-Aug-14 10:05:46

You did absolutely the right thing, no doubt about it.

MiniMouse Fri 08-Aug-14 10:25:45

Definitely the right thing. I've been in a similar situation and was on my way round to take the children into my house, so that they wouldn't be witness to what was going on, when it all suddenly went quiet and calmed down. I decided there and then that, if it started again another time, then I wouldn't wait, I would just go round for the children. They were lovely neighbours and great parents, but both quite volatile, and 'exploded' on a lesser scale frequently.

kittylester Fri 08-Aug-14 10:40:59

I think you were right too. At least now the address is flagged up and if you call again they will be aware. Th police might also send a DV officer round to chat and, if they are worried, might contact SS.

From my experience (of supporting DV victims in Court!) some of the specialist Dv officers are brilliant at being proactive in situations like this.

Nonnie Fri 08-Aug-14 11:20:29

I agree, you did the right thing but I think you should definitely call them if it happens again.

Marelli Fri 08-Aug-14 12:26:27

I would definitely have done the same, and if it happened again I would do the same again. That way the police are kept aware and if they think it's necessary, the appropriate authorities can become involved.

Iam64 Fri 08-Aug-14 12:45:50

Definitely you did the right thing. Poor child, having to witness that. I hope the phrase 'over excitable' was one the pw heard from the couple, and repeated, rather than her assessment of the situation. Maybe they'll try and tone their rows down a bit, to avoid the police becoming regular visitors. If not, do call the police again.

Galen Fri 08-Aug-14 13:14:03

The old git next door and his angel wife are either having blazing rows or there's total silence as she's not speaking to him. I just ignore now after 36 years of it.
In normal situations yes, I would have done the same. But next door aren't normal, at least, he isn't.

whenim64 Fri 08-Aug-14 13:49:53

Yes, you were right, dorset and even though things were smoothed over it doesn't mean all is well. If you hear someone yelling 'help me' what else could you do? Don't be put off doing the same again.

suebailey1 Fri 08-Aug-14 14:22:37

Oh yes you were right and I would have done the same thing. Last summer we spent a long Bank Holiday weekend with a single Mum in the house behind ours screaming her head of at her small boy and yelling some pretty nasty things to him for three days non stop but loving and cuddling the small girl child. The boy looked dreadful and all the neighbours were talking about this. I called the NSPCC as I was so worried for him. I don't know what happened but things have been a lot better- the stream of gentleman callers has stopped and both children look well and happy and the Mum is now being more friendly to other neighbours. I didn't worry if I had done the right thing or not and wouldn't have cared if she came round and bopped me on the nose as long as both those children are OK.

glammanana Fri 08-Aug-14 15:17:14

dorset I would do the same and again if I heard them at it again,how awful for the child it must be very scary for him/her.
sueb we have a family at the back of us very similar to your neighbour,both the mother & father are very vocal and scream at the child the thing I find strange is that other members of the family (looks like GP's) are present most of the time so they must all know no different with regards to parenting,they must have all been dragged up the same way.