Mr P only left this morning (alarm at 3.30am, departure around 4.30am, does anyone really need to put their suitcase on the bed and zip & un-zip 6 times?) and already I'm talking to the cats. 
Well, to be honest, I always do, to a certain extent as in "oh dear, no wonder you look traumatised Digby, there's only an inch of bikkies left in your bowl!" and the more than occasional "Maurice, you can't possibly want to go out again!
But this is slightly different, as in at then end of The Archers "Well, Maurice, Rob's making yet another stealthy "control freak" move, wouldn't you agree?" Then comments like "There, that's the hob cleaned, looks better, doesn't it?" Followed by "Ok, we'll go through to the sitting room in a minute, just got to pop upstairs first"
Now, in my defence, these conversational gambits are nearly always directed at Maurice, who, as a well brought up cat, has the good manners to respond when he is spoken to, even if only by eye contact. (I think he would have made comment on "The Archers" but recent events have shocked him so much that he is taking time to process them, until he has done so he is relying on his stock answer of "Owl", which is what he says to most things, although with different inflections as appropriate, of course.) Whenever Digby is asked anything, if he does actually turn and look (which is rare, even though I use his name it can need a firm poke to get his attention) one is met by two large, vacant, yet slightly confused looking green pools.
Previous experience of this situation indicates that the next stage is asking if I look alright in this, does this top go with these trousers and is it long enough to cover the bulges. I worry about this, not least because Maurice has been known to give me "A LOOK" in response to that sort of question, which does of course plant a seed of doubt.
So, at this early stage in the "home alone" process it is a tad worrying! 
but think your behaviour Phoenix is perfectly normal..... well I do the same sort of things and I am the most normal person I know! 
Trump is eyeing up Mali as his next war zone
You must be old if you have a purse or a wallet.
