What constitutes being a proper grown up?

Your mother says you should 'behave' like a grown up, kitty? I wonder what she thinks you should be doing which would befit your 'position'?

You should probably have a serious demeanour at all times, avoid frivolity and above all, do not exchange gossip or opinions on social networking sites!

A perm? Wearing a corset? Behaving with decorum at all times?

Oh, darn it, I'm never going to be grown up.

Do you think that there should be some magic point in ones life when these things happen?

I remember listening to some daft woman on a Radio 4 phone in saying that there should be a station catering for the musical tastes of the over 65's as if you might be happily listening to anything from Led Zeppelin,Paul Simon, Elbow, Snow Patrol etc right up to and including the evening before your 65th birthday, then wake up the next morning with a strong desire for James Last.

and Semprini's Serenade, remember that?

Mantovani!

I have a male friend, and our crowd always refer to him as the one true grown-up. It's hard to define, but I think it's because he's so reasonable and can see both sides. He never gets angry or flustered. He's nice, but not too nice and has a good sense of humour and he never jumps to conclusions. He is patient. He is on all sorts of agricultural think tanks, a leading light in the NFU and various other agricultural organisations, and was one of those to pioneer tracing the movement every step of the way from apples to bulls, grain to sheep long before foot and mouth really hit the headlines.

A true grownup is someone like him, who you would trust to run the country.

Someone with the tolerance and wisdom to be able to refrain from telling others to grow up?

Tell Mrs Bucket to go clean the floor. What does being a grown up mean? - heaven knows. I hope I never lose the child in me - it would be the beginning of the end.

Being a grownup sounds quite boring really. Think I'll resist.

Being responsible is important!

It's not clothes. It's the look on the face. My DD s have it. My son hasn't.

I tell my teenagers to not be in a hurry to grow up, it is crap not all as good as it sounds. And being able to run with scissors is not all that great.

Perhaps a 'proper' grown-up is someone who stops blaming others and the past, and make the best of the future, come what may. Nothing to do with hair style, pearls or twin set.

Kitty, you have the patient of a saint with your mum- hope you can 'see her through to the end'- as now you know she is a very old and confused person. Bonne chance et courage.

I felt grown up once my first child was born. I had my long hair cut and lowered my hems. Married to a very difficult man, I was thoroughly grown up (and miserable) for the next 20 years. I'm so much happier now but 40 years too old to regain my lost youth.

Never too late for some things apricot one just has to choose them carefully!

beautifully said phoenix- youth is so wasted on the young wink

I think when someone who walks into the room and everyone feels that the problem will be solved or sorted. My DH is that person. Said to me by many people about his.that's a grown up.

Somebody who is [and behaves like] a grown up, doesn't put their own selfish desires before that of others in their family [or friends.]

I felt grown-up when I became the older generation - when my aunt and uncle died within a week, ten years ago.

Having said that, some people never grow up.

I have reflected on this and perhaps I felt grown up when after 10 years of marriage and the mother of an 18 month old child I moved 60 miles from my Mother and her constant critisism. I didn't have her knowing my daily routine and dropping by at any time she chose. This does make me seem weak I know but I did grow up and I never looked back. Anyone who felt as I did will understand.

Not weak at all Annsixty.
I had a lightbulb moment, not so dramatic as yours, when I realised at the age of 30 that I never wore black because my mother thought it was unsuitable.
I've worn black ever since.
I think being grown up combines assertiveness for your own needs, with respect for others' needs.
Not allowing others to emotionally blackmail you, and not doing that to other people.
I'd probably include financial independence too.

Having just returned from a 5 day 'Road Trip' following my favourite Celtic Rock band around the country I haven't yet decided when and if I will grow up and if I do what will constitute it.

Maybe a utilitarian hair do, navy low heeled shoes, American Tan tights or knee highs (with a skirt of course), shopping trolley.

Seriously though I have realised that I grew up just the other week when I began to see the world from my sometimes 'difficult' mothers point of view and became much more tolerant of her and her funny little ways.

It's been said before, but that doesn't make it any less true. The similarity between small children and old people in the way that they feel that they either are or should be, the centre of the universe.