Things that make you laugh

What a clever little monkey you have there janerowena

My GC can get into their cloakroom, you just put a coin in the outside and it turns the lock. Thankfully cloak rooms are quite small and you can put your foot behind the door.

You should be very proud of that wee girl, janerowena.

There must be other budding criminals out there!

A dear friend had 4 children very close together. She told me that many years ago when she had a little one in the pram and the next one up sitting in the pram seat, she got home from shopping in Boots to find a pair of rubber gloves, a hairbrush and a tube of Steradent stashed under the covers!

My twin grandsons learned to lock each other in the bathroom when they were two, having observed big cousin do it with a coin. Mum kept finding pennies on the landing and wondering how they got there.

My mum took DS 2 to Mothercare in the buggy. On the way out, they were stopped by an assistant who said, "Do you want that jumper?" DS had shop lifted a rather gaudy jumper which mum then felt obliged to buy! It was two years before it fitted him.

Two year old grandson enjoyed his trip to Marks and Spencer, where he kept reaching from the twin buggy, grabbing bras off their flimsy hangers and draping them round his neck, as fast as we were putting them back. We sat down on a bench to give the children a drink and found another bra tucked behind him. My daughter raced back inside before anyone felt her collar.

The problem is, it's doubtful if the shop assistant/security guard will believe the Mother, if items set off an alarm. it would be so embarrassing and maybe even worse than that!

I know, that did worry me, I got home once to find a pair of brown bootlaces in my daughter's pushchair. I took them back and they said how honest I was - I remember thinking maybe I wouldn't have been if they had been black! Two days later I had to return a jar of cold cream to the local chemist's - they were huffy and said a crowded shop was no place for a pushchair. I took my business to Boots after that.

My son's shoplifting at 10 months, the same age as my daughter's, was a nice shiny brass doorknob and he screamed when we tried to take it away from him, so DBH ended up paying for it out of pure embarrassment.

Last night we went to a St. Patrick's night dinner, organised by a lovely Irish nurse friend. She was seated with us, when not rushing around organising. Our table, at the top of the hall by the stage, ate first to allow us to be moved back for dancing, and as she shovelled down beef in Guinness after having helped to dish up the first four tables, she said very worriedly 'I'm not sure we will have enough colcannon by the time the trollies get to the back of the hall'.

At which one of my male friends (after a couple of pints of Guinness admittedly) stood up and shouted out 'Attention Back of the Hall! Potato famine imminent!'.

Wife mortified, the rest of us cackling away!

My toddler grandaughter went to Next with her mum this afternoon, leaving her sister at home with dad. She somehow managed to put herself to bed in the window display of cot beds, taking her boots off first. Then, she made a run for the stock room and had a tantrum on the floor when my daughter brought her out, clutching a box containing shoes. She's like lightning!

Is it just me who's concerned about a two year olds access to a knife

It was clever though.

when

Yes, you are right! SiL had been left in charge, and was playing a computer game instead of getting on with the washing up. He had left all the dirty dishes piled up on the side ready to go and decided to just have a 'quick check of something'. So my daughter was not impressed. TBH I am not impressed with him at all, but she appears to love him so I am very very nice to him. He does love them all but he is very lazy.

GS 3 years to Grandad

'what is that thing on the side of your nose Grandad ?'

Grandad to GS

'it's a fatty deposit'

GS To Grandad

'why did you put it there ?'

Poor man!